Mindfulness in conversations/interactions

JetsFan366

Anyone have any advice or pointers to advice on remaining mindful while in a conversation with someone? For me, it is difficult to carry on a conversation while remaining mindful of the actual interaction. I get too swept up in the interplay, banter, jockeying, etc. that goes on. After pretty much each conversation, I have to re-mindful-ate at the end.

federica

"re-mindful-ate"...?

I know exactly what you mean.

I carry a visual reminder.
it's a mala bracelet.
at one point or another, while talking to someone, I'm going to catch sight of my wrist....

That's helpful to me....

(Re-mindful-ate.... Brilliant!)

aMatt

When I find I am in conversation, I just notice my breath. When I do, I am reminded of the mental state that arises in meditation, which is more mindful. Being alert enough to notice the breath happens with time.

Gecko

I have trouble with being mindful in conversations, too, twaitsfan! Especially when I'm with a particular group of friends where rough-house jibes and digs are the norm. It's very hard to try and keep up with the talk while ensuring right speech and all that (especially when I become the target of the jibes!)

I find mala beads to be useful too - if I can remember to remind myself that they're there to remind me to remember to be mindful! I agree with aMatt, though - coming back to noticing the breath can be potent. I find it centers me in the moment, and cuts out the slighty fuzzy-stressed mind state that comes with trying to force mindfulness in a difficult conversation.

JetsFan366

Thanks for the input everybody.

Gecko - I think you and I run in similar circles. Trying to stay mindful when your buddies are ribbing you about something is not the easiest thing in the world. Then again, being the imperfect mindful person that I am, usually I enjoy those conversations so I end up spending less effort on those (which may be part of my problem). Professional conversations at work are what really get me. Especially when I really have to concentrate to understand something. In those cases I'm trying to just pay full attention to what is being said as opposed to thinking about other things like social pressures.

NomaDBuddha

twaitsfan wrote: »

Anyone have any advice or pointers to advice on remaining mindful while in a conversation with someone? For me, it is difficult to carry on a conversation while remaining mindful of the actual interaction. I get too swept up in the interplay, banter, jockeying, etc. that goes on. After pretty much each conversation, I have to re-mindful-ate at the end.

Try to observe every word that will make your talk...
I don't know how, but I am mindful when I'm arguing with some less intelligent people (in my part of the world, this happens to me on daily basis), and I practically observe every word that will come out of my mouth when arguing with those people...

kukine

Mindfulness of speaking is more difficult than it seems. You guys have pretty good ideas with using an anchor such as beads and the breath (I personally use the breath often if I start slipping away). In fast-paced or group conversations I find it difficult to catch my thoughts before I say them so I find it helpful to be mindful of my general intentions or mind states during the conversation until my mindfulness catches up.

lightwithin

Sometimes I feel like I don't know where my words are coming from, and I lose touch with the person I'm talking to and retreat to my own world for a while and it's not a nice feeling once you get suddently brought back.

That said, mindfulness during a conversation is easier to me than on other occasions. I have to remember the "breath trick" next time I feel I'm drifting away.

Love-N-Peace

I try and act mindfully, and whenever I'm about to do something mean or something mean is happening to someone I'm glad when I remember my Buddhist practise and do the right thing, as far as my short bravery threshold allows.

Jellybean