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12 Steps
I've decided, starting today, to become sober and to follow the 12 steps.
I never had a huge problem with either drugs or alcohol, but I want to abstain anyways. It seems like whenever I'm depressed I start to smoke pot or drink and I've been doing both a lot lately.
This topic doesn't directly relate to buddhism but I read a book called Dharma Punx by Noah Levine, who is a buddhist and went through the 12 steps. He said that the 12 steps is what initially made him a more spiritual person and thus led him to buddhism.
I never had a huge problem with either drugs or alcohol, but I want to abstain anyways. It seems like whenever I'm depressed I start to smoke pot or drink and I've been doing both a lot lately.
This topic doesn't directly relate to buddhism but I read a book called Dharma Punx by Noah Levine, who is a buddhist and went through the 12 steps. He said that the 12 steps is what initially made him a more spiritual person and thus led him to buddhism.
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I decided not to drink at all as a personal vow of sorts. I don't care if people drink around me (socially), but in trying to be mindful, and as Thich Nhat Hanh points out, when one drinks one also supports a lot of the pain that alcohol causes around the world.
And so I feel all the better choosing not to drink.
So far I have enjoyed my time with friends as they sip their wine etc, and I simply have some cool refreshing ice water feel just as happy and as social as anyone else.
And the bonus is the lack of hangovers, and the clear memories that remain in my head afterward for future appreciation.
Ivan
Good Luck
I'm wondering - if you've never had a "huge" problem with drugs or alcohol, why would you enter a twelve step program? I'm not against your choice and I fully support your decision to abstain; if you feel that's what you need then by all means go for it. It just seems like programs like AA and NA are for people who are seriously addicted to substances, not just using them to deal with emotional states (although that is often a factor in addiction).
Here are the steps, from 12Step.org:
- Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable
- Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
- Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God
- Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
- Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs
- Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character
- Step 7 - Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings
- Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all
- Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others
- Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
- Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out
- Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
[Highlights are my own.]Personally, I'm a bit wary of the twelve step program. I don't like the idea that one is "powerless" over their addiction, because it is only by facing and accepting ones flaws that we are able to change. ("You can never lose your power, you can only give it away." - RuPaul) All the stuff about God (as I highlighted) is debatable, as one may argue that Buddhists could just substitute God for ourselves, but that sort of contradicts the message and the other steps. Meditation is mentioned in step eleven, but within a context of connecting to an outside power that controls us. I don't know about all that. This is just my personal opinion.
I'm not trying to criticize your choice, and I'm very sorry to hear you've been depressed lately. I hope that you get the support you need to help deal with your problems. I think it's very good that you can recognize negative patterns and habits you want to eliminate. Have you tried using meditation or other methods when you notice your cravings?
You can always ask the e-sangha for help or advice. We may not be able to be with you physically but we do care and will provide positive encouragement as best we can. Just sayin
The God notion is not necessarily the Christian god, but to a higher authority. It was formed from protestant roots, but is not thumpy or preachy in anyway. Its a great program in my opinion, and well worth exploring for any addict.
http://www.kevingriffin.net/links.htm
Sometimes you can be somewhat fragile and need help. If you don't like to think of being powerless in the face of addiction I think it is ok to say "We admit we are smart and are gonna use all resources available, including other people that wish to help". :P
I read through some of the 12 steps material. Some of it is useful for everybody, like the inventory.
Although I was expressing my concern in the interpretation of some of the steps, I am not dismissing the 12 step program altogether. I do have my concerns, but the important thing is that the program is able to help people overcome their addiction.
The 12 -step-Buddhist is a book with some interesting meditations and also Buddhism and the 12 steps too, I like both of these.
Doing the 12 steps will help anyone to be free from attachments/resentments in their lives whichever form they take. There are 12 step programs for all kinds of things these days- I think someone applying the principles to any area which is sensitive to them will be of benefit. I wish you all the best.
Could you (or someone else who knows) please explain what is meant by this? I mean, if I have the odd can of beer that was brewed in the UK, who am I causing to suffer directly or indirectly?
Thich Nhat Hanh says this:
" There are people who drink alcohol and get drunk, who destroy their bodies, their families, their society. They should refrain from drinking. But you who have been having a glass of wine every week during the last thirty years without doing any harm to yourself, why should you stop that? What is the use of practicing this precept if drinking alcohol does not harm you or other people? Although you have not harmed yourself during the last thirty years by drinking just one or two glasses of wine every week, the fact is that it may have an effect on your children, your grandchildren, and your society. We only need to look deeply in order to see it. You are practicing not for yourself alone, but for everyone. Your children might have a propensity for alcoholism and, seeing you drinking wine every week, one of them may become alcoholic in the future. If you abandon your two glasses of wine, it is to show your children, your friends, and your society that your life is not only for yourself. Your life is for your ancestors, future generations, and also your society. To stop drinking two glasses of wine every week is a very deep practice, even if it has not brought you any harm. That is the insight of a bodhisattva who knows that everything she does is done for all her ancestors and future generations. The emptiness of transmission is the basis of the Fifth Precept. The use of drugs by so many young people should also be stopped with the same kind of insight.
In modern life, people think that their body belongs to them and they can do anything they want to it. "We have the right to live our own lives." When you make such a declaration, the law supports you. This is one of the manifestations of individualism. But, according to the teaching of emptiness, your body is not yours. Your body belongs to your ancestors, your parents, and future generations. It also belongs to society and to all the other living beings. All of them have come together to bring about the presence of this body--the trees, clouds, everything. Keeping your body healthy is to express gratitude to the whole cosmos, to all ancestors, and also not to betray the future generations. We practice this precept for the whole cosmos, the whole society. If we are healthy, everyone can benefit from it--not only everyone in the society of men and women, but everyone in the society of animals, plants, and minerals. This is a bodhisattva precept. When we practice the Five Precepts we are already on the path of a bodhisattva.
When we are able to get out of the shell of our small self and see that we are interrelated to everyone and everything, we see that our every act is linked with the whole of humankind, the whole cosmos. To keep yourself healthy is to be kind to your ancestors, your parents, the future generations, and also your society. Health is not only bodily health, but also mental health. The Fifth Precept is about health and healing.
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society..." Because you are not doing it only for yourself, to stop drinking one or two glasses of wine a week is truly an act of a bodhisattva. You do it everyone. At a reception, when someone offers you a glass of wine, you can smile and decline, "No, thank you. I do not drink alcohol. I would be grateful if you would bring me a glass of juice or water." You do it gently, with a smile. This is very helpful. You set an example for many friends, including many children who are present. Although that can be done in a very polite, quiet way, it is truly the act of a bodhisattva, setting an example by your own life.
Mindful consumption is the object of this precept. We are what we consume. If we look deeply into the items that we consume every day, we will come to know our own nature very well. We have to eat, drink, consume, but if we do it unmindfully, we may destroy our bodies and our consciousness, showing ingratitude toward our ancestors, our parents, and future generations.
I know that drinking wine runs deep in Western culture. In the ceremony of the Eucharist and the Passover seder, wine is an important element. But I have spoken to priests and rabbis about this, and they have told me it is possible to substitute grape juice for the wine. Even if we don't drink at all, we can still get killed on the streets by a drunk driver. To persuade one person to refrain from drinking is to make the world safer for us all. "
Alcohol accounts for 40% of A&E admissions, thousands of deaths each year, abuse, neglect and violence. That said, if you can enjoy "the odd can" responsibly then you are probably not one of the people causing this suffering. I adhere to the 5th precept (to abstain from mood altering substances) because as a recovering addict, I have to. Believe me if I could drink responsibly I would, so I am not trying to preach here, but it is still a fact that drinking is against the 5th precept of Buddhism. Many people in the West just ignore this.
How mindful are you after a beer? Less than before the beer that's for sure, even if it is only the one.
Hope that gives some insight Chrysalid
Ivan
Just wanted to say that I'm three days sober and I went back to practicing at my zen center so I'm extremely proud of myself and feeling better than ever.
Thank you all for the help and advice and the interesting discussions.
:bigclap:
That is so awesome! I'm very happy to hear you're doing better. Glad that you're making your Zen practice a priority.
One more thing, please don't get discouraged if you hit a rough patch. You can make a change, it just takes time.
Be well!
Very much so, thank you for finding that.
Congratulations for your progess Black Flag!
I'm really working hard at this and I'm already starting to feel a little better.
Yesterday, I had a strong desire to drink but instead of drinking I chanted a mantra over and over as I walked until I got home.
it's the only one i know
I think God can be compatible with buddhist teachings. Thich Nhat Hanh actually talks about God a lot in his book about prayer.
I had a lot of trouble with the god thing but after having just completed the first step and reflecting on the second, I did have somewhat of an understanding, but it might not happen quickly, but who knows maybe it will.
Anyways I'm 13 days today, happy, and sober.
You see, alcoholics have this emotional barometer that measures our level of being restless, irritable, and discontented; and when this reaches a certain peak, we drink no matter what the consequences are. Alcohol is not our problem, it is our solution to these feelings of anxiety.
So, after accepting that we can't drink normally, nor can we stop drinking (which I certainly couldn't), we do the rest of the 12 Steps.
Somehow, and I can't explain how, during the process the problem with alcohol is just removed from us; without any effort. For me, about three months sober, one afternoon I realised I had not thought about drinking that day. That was amazing for me.
Steps 10, 11, and 12 are steps we live by on a daily basis and our reprieve from the mental obsession to drink is contingent the level of our spiritual fitness.
We are not 'powerless' over anything except alcohol; in fact we get more power into our lives by following the 12 Step programme.
Good luck, BlackFlag, just follow the normal suggestions:
1. Get a homegroup (Sangha)
2. Get a sponsor (a spiritual guide)
3. Do service (help others)
4. Live the Steps.
You can't fail.
I experienced some cognitive dissonance between the 'God' (Higher Power) in AA's 12 Steps, and Buddhism which doesn't acknowledging a patriarchal god type figure.
But really, all AA explains is that you need to have a Higher Power, and then AA leaves it upto you to decide who/what that Higher Power is. My concepts of a Higher Power changes, and has changed quite frequently, but really it boils down to it being my conscience; or what some may call my 'inner guru'.
A good example of what I mean happened on Wednesday. I was all set to make dinner and watch a film on the TV and my phone rang and it was the AA help desk. They asked me to speak to a guy who was having problems with alcohol. I phoned him and then went to drive to where he lived to take him to an AA meeting. It was a long drive; I didn't get home till nearly midnight; and I was tired.
Really, what I wanted to do was make dinner and watch the film, but my conscience - my Higher Power - told me the right thing to do ('God's will') was to see this guy that evening. I guess karma could be a Higher Power to use, or even mindfulness.
My point is, you do not need to believe in a 'superhuman God diety' to work the 12 Steps, but if you do, that's great also.
The 12 Steps are simple (they need to be for some very confused people), practical, and profound.
I would also recommend Kevin Griffin's book "One Breath at a Time" for a Buddhist perspective on the 12 Steps. Beautifully written and honestly told.
Please see this thread.
Thanks.