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Being Ashamed

AllbuddhaBoundAllbuddhaBound Veteran
edited August 2010 in Buddhism Basics
I have sometimes felt my children are ashamed to be seen in public with me. I am sure other parents have experienced the same. How would the Buddha instruct a child as well as a parent in these circumstances? It may not have even occurred in his day.

Comments

  • ChrysalidChrysalid Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Didn't you feel embarrassed when out with your parents? I know I did, I don't think there was any other reason behind it other than that it wasn't "cool" to be seen out with your parents.
    I think the Buddha would have advised the parent simply to accept that their child is going through that stage (and when I say child I assume we're talking teenagers here?), trying to fight it brings both suffering. They'll grow out of it eventually.
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited August 2010
    lol, yes. It's perfectly natural and neither your children nor you need any instruction. If you find yourself feeling dejected or sad in such circumstances, simply acknowledge those feelings and let them pass in their own time. Remember, it has more to do with their need to establish a sense of independence than anything to do with you personally. Make sure they're safe. Keep watch over the company they keep and where they are. But realize that, as they grow, they're social sphere will move more and more outside the home and family to their peers. Over the next few years, your kids will need a parent -- not a friend. Don't worry. Someday they'll return (usually post-college) with a deeper appreciation for your role in their life and not care so much about these things.
  • RichardHRichardH Veteran
    edited August 2010
    I've stopped being superman and funniest guy in the world to my kid, and am beginning to be the old fart with the lame jokes. He's just turning twelve, it'll only get worse. :)
  • EngyoEngyo
    edited August 2010
    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
    - attributed to Mark Twain by Reader's Digest, Sept. 1937.
  • JakbobJakbob Explorer
    edited August 2010
    I'm 16 and I don't ever feel that way with my parents :D. I'm not you're "average" teen. I stray from the crowd as much as possible and couldn't care less about "coolness".
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Yup when your teen learns in life just exactly how many people could care less about them... Then they might appreciate your regard for their happiness. Until then you can quietly go about your business as they say I guess more a parent than a friend, for now.
  • GeckoGecko
    edited August 2010
    As long as you don't dress in baggy clothes, spin a baseball cap around backwards, and massacre the current lingo... :D
  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Jakbob wrote: »
    I'm 16 and I don't ever feel that way with my parents :D. I'm not you're "average" teen. I stray from the crowd as much as possible and couldn't care less about "coolness".

    Here's a young person who will go far in life! :)

    Mtns
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