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Closet Buddhist in a Super-Christian Land
Hello everyone, this is my first post. I'm new to Buddhism. I decided that this was the path for me in March of this year, so I'm still very new to it. Before I came to the Middle Path I was a very avid Christian. I'm 25 now, and was a christian for the first 20 years of my life. I got married at the age of 19, and during that time of a bad marriage and also growing into adulthood, my views of the world began to change and I found myself without a foothold in any belief for five years. My husband is a christian but not overly zealous.
Well I find myself in a unique situation. My marriage is on the verge of ending, but we both decided to take a trip to West Africa for my daughter's sake. My husband is from Ghana, and we both wanted our three year old to know his side of the family. I'm still very much in the closet about my faith. In this country people are very zealous christians. in fact you commonly see businesses like "Jesus Saves Car Repair Service" while driving down the highway. So when a close friend of the family came over this afternoon and lead a bible study, I was petrified. However, since I still know some "christianese" and was very anxious not to start a debate, I feigned as if I were still a "believer in the Word." I feel very dirty now for acting as if I were a christian, I even prayed and read some bible passages aloud. Not that I have anything against christians in general, but my own experience with christianity has left a very bitter taste in my mouth. I'm torn between not wanting to start a conflict and also being true to myself. But my hope is that talking and being honest (but not pushy) about my faith will be easier as time goes on. Though if you admit that you're not "a believer" to a Ghanaian christian you most certainly risk being preached to. That's why I put up the front today, though a big part of me regrets it.
So I expect I'll be visiting here often. I do wish to grow stronger in my knowledge of Buddhism and have it enrich my life. Thank you if you've read this far. I really needed to vent my feelings after today's events.
~CR~
Well I find myself in a unique situation. My marriage is on the verge of ending, but we both decided to take a trip to West Africa for my daughter's sake. My husband is from Ghana, and we both wanted our three year old to know his side of the family. I'm still very much in the closet about my faith. In this country people are very zealous christians. in fact you commonly see businesses like "Jesus Saves Car Repair Service" while driving down the highway. So when a close friend of the family came over this afternoon and lead a bible study, I was petrified. However, since I still know some "christianese" and was very anxious not to start a debate, I feigned as if I were still a "believer in the Word." I feel very dirty now for acting as if I were a christian, I even prayed and read some bible passages aloud. Not that I have anything against christians in general, but my own experience with christianity has left a very bitter taste in my mouth. I'm torn between not wanting to start a conflict and also being true to myself. But my hope is that talking and being honest (but not pushy) about my faith will be easier as time goes on. Though if you admit that you're not "a believer" to a Ghanaian christian you most certainly risk being preached to. That's why I put up the front today, though a big part of me regrets it.
So I expect I'll be visiting here often. I do wish to grow stronger in my knowledge of Buddhism and have it enrich my life. Thank you if you've read this far. I really needed to vent my feelings after today's events.
~CR~
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Comments
I was a Roman Catholic for nigh on 30 - 35 years, and really turned to Buddhism 20 years ago, or so. I'm in my 50's now, so there was a considerable overlap....
You might like to look up Thomas Merton,
Thich Nhat Hanh (Who wrote 'Living Buddha, Living Christ') and even His Holiness the Dalai Lama, (affectionately known as HHDL) all of which have combined to a greater or lesser extent, the virtues of leading a good Christian Life with the highly compatible model of Buddhism.
Also, understand that as Buddhism has no fixed single, omnipotent or omniscient everlasting Deity, it is entirely practicable alongside other religions. Whenever I visit my mother in Italy, I accompany her to church. She knows I'm Buddhist (heck, she gave me the book which 'turned my head'!) And I sit quietly with her, going through the motions of offering the sign of peace (how nice is that??) and praying alongside her to keep her company....
When my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, I approached the Catholic Priest conducting the ceremony, (They had a celebratory Nuptial mass, and renewed their vows!) and suggested I contribute something of a Buddhist nature. He was utterly thrilled. He could not have been more pleased, and welcomed the idea with an open heart, mind and arms! It was a wonderful experience.....
Sometimes, it's not the religion that gives us a negative experience, but those purporting to be in its service, or representing it.
My mother (again!) is a churchgoer, but she doesn't agree with all ecclesiastical policies.....No female priests? Celibacy? Ridiculous!
There is nothing in Buddhism which directly conflicts with Christian practice.
I wish you well. And welcome to our forum.
I think it depends who is listening to you how they would respond. Some people may not understand, but a lot of people understand that you have to make decisions on your own. It might help to say that you are not against Jesus message of love, but that you are looking for some of the teachings of buddhism to supplement and guide you in finding happiness. After all wouldn't Jesus want you to be happy? Perhaps I am just being sneaky, but I too wish that I wouldn't have conflicts over religion! Ah well....
Of course I'm not suggesting you lie if someone pushes you, but there is no reason to justify your beliefs to other people either.
It might help to think as Gandhi did, he liked the figure of Christ but didn't have much respect for Christianity. Christ was really quite a Buddhist figure with much of his philosophy, so if people do expect you to get involved with their Bible study or whatever it is, maybe you could concentrate on the character of Jesus and his teachings and sidestep any aspects you find irrelevant/uncomfortable, if that's actually practical in a Ghanaian Bible study.
As mentioned in another thread, meditation is for everyone. You can be any religion and meditate. Perhaps if the situation arises you could find a common ground with your religious friends by leading a silent meditation. It can be as simple as guiding others to breathe deeply in the present moment, and rest in the natural state of being.
Here's a wonderful example from the book Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Naht Hanh:
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment.
Fortunately I know of two sanghas in Accra and I'd like to visit one of them in the near future. Buddhism isn't hugely popular in Ghana but it still has its adherents here.
Thanks again for the warm and encouraging welcome.
I've put something similar in another post, but Christianity can be like Buddhism, but the history of how Christianity has evolved from what it (maybe) should've been, to what it's like now are two very different things.
A good book covering this subject is The Gospel of the Second Coming by Freke and Gandy; it provides an entertaining, intelligent and profound re-think of Christianity and explains how we've arrived at the current Christianity which we have today.
According to Freke and Gandy, Gnostic Christianity is the original correct concept (their book explains it very well backed up with lots of historical explanations; and bits from the Gnostic scrolls) and it sounds like (to me) that Christianity should be more Buddhist-like than it's current form.
Gnostic means 'knowledge' and that sounds a little bit like Enlightenment. And it explains how the Bible should be read allegorically, rather than literally.
This isn't in the book, but when I say 'allegorically', as an example of what I mean, when you read Genesis and it talks about Adam and Eve eating the apple and realising they were naked; doesn't that sound like they're talking about the emergence of ego (the 'self')?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gospel-Second-Coming-Timothy-Freke/dp/1401915523
It's worth a read; even if it's only for interest!
Palzang
The two traditions are almost exactly similar. Real christians will see the similarities. Its only when propounding non theistic views that your christians will revolt. But the views aren't for christians they are buddhist teachings and no christian has to accept the doctorine of nonself or a-theism to practice the "Way"
Palzang
Palzang
That being said the view of their attachments and clinging to blind belief has proven several of The Buddhas teachings to me.
Mmmmm, kittens! :doh:
Palzang
They're Kit Kats.....
If I lived in a place where practicing Buddhism was controversial , I would just keep it to myself, and seek out other practitioners if possible.
In this place (urban Canada) the problem can be that Buddhism is cool, and part of a mainstream, affluent, yoga-panted trendiness. People get into the practice only so far then are disappointed when they don't get anything.
Meeting with my sister after nearly 20 years of not talking however did bring the subject up rather quickly.One of the first things she asked me was whether or not I was saved.Me being me just bluntly replied"I am a buddhist".
This news spread faster than wildfire I can tell you,but most of my rellies did not think badly of this.
Some time after this a cousin of mine died and I attended the funeral.I was aware of some people watching me at this time.Not being sure what to do,I just watched everyone else.When prayers were being done,I was sending metta.When people stood up to sing hymms I stood with them.
After it was all over,many of my cousins came to speak to me about buddhism and the fact that I had gone into a christian church.They said they really respected me for this.Unfortunately my sister merely saw this as some sort of hypocrasy and said that I had no right to be there.In the end she decided that if I was going to go to the wake,then she would not attend.My cousins wished her a safe journey home.Unfortunately she has not spoken to me since and ignores all attempts I have made to speak with her.I no longer try.I send metta,but feel to keep trying to make contact is possibly causing her anger and I have no desire to do this.
In fact when I went to join the army and was asked what religion I was I told them I didn't know and was probably atheist. The recruiting sergeant said he'd put me down as 'Church of England' since he said that was the same thing!
Looking back, I suspect he may have been a Catholic?
Makes me smile though.
Another time I had gotten a job picking apples in Northern Ireland.
I had to fill out the job application form and there was a question about my religion.I put buddhist.When the boss saw this she gave me a real weird look,but since I wasn't catholic she took me on anyway.