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A Lesson?
Kundo
Sydney, Australia Veteran
Namaste all,
This may be irrelevant but to me, this is a good step forward for me on my journey.
For the past month I have been working in a job I love, working with a boss who was fantastic and a team who, while I had a few teething problems (I am the supervisor), were making progress.
Or so I thought.
Tuesday afternoon, without warning, rhyme or reason, I was fired. The only reason I was verbally given was "it's nothing personal, you're just not the right cultural fit". I was gobsmacked. Nothing happened to indicate this was coming. I had no run-ins with my team or other colleagues, one minute things were hunky dory, the next I'm driving home, unemployed and trying to cope with that.
In the last two days I have cried, felt vindictive and bitchy - the whole gamut of emotions. But this morning while driving home after dropping my daughter to school I had a thought. (To elaborate, I'd been thinking how nice it would be for her to get fired herself and just reap what she sows). I don't need to wish her ill will or bad luck, her lifestyle is literally killing her. She smokes two pack a day, has chronic illness and is always stressed out. Now I don't know if it's her karma playing out from previous actions and/or lives, but my whole perception of her shifted and I actually feel sorry for her. I had to speak to her just beforehand over the phone in regards to paperwork and I found myself genuine meaning it when I said "I really hope things work out with you"
I'm not trying to "blow my own horn" I certainly don't think I've reached enlightenment, but I HOPE that I have learnt to be altruistic and perhaps this can help me with tonglen practise. I've struggled to practise tonglen, moreso for myself than others. I also realise that this isn't a permanent achievement. I will constantly have to work at being and/or remaining altruistic. This is just the first step in that direction.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you guys
In metta,
Raven
This may be irrelevant but to me, this is a good step forward for me on my journey.
For the past month I have been working in a job I love, working with a boss who was fantastic and a team who, while I had a few teething problems (I am the supervisor), were making progress.
Or so I thought.
Tuesday afternoon, without warning, rhyme or reason, I was fired. The only reason I was verbally given was "it's nothing personal, you're just not the right cultural fit". I was gobsmacked. Nothing happened to indicate this was coming. I had no run-ins with my team or other colleagues, one minute things were hunky dory, the next I'm driving home, unemployed and trying to cope with that.
In the last two days I have cried, felt vindictive and bitchy - the whole gamut of emotions. But this morning while driving home after dropping my daughter to school I had a thought. (To elaborate, I'd been thinking how nice it would be for her to get fired herself and just reap what she sows). I don't need to wish her ill will or bad luck, her lifestyle is literally killing her. She smokes two pack a day, has chronic illness and is always stressed out. Now I don't know if it's her karma playing out from previous actions and/or lives, but my whole perception of her shifted and I actually feel sorry for her. I had to speak to her just beforehand over the phone in regards to paperwork and I found myself genuine meaning it when I said "I really hope things work out with you"
I'm not trying to "blow my own horn" I certainly don't think I've reached enlightenment, but I HOPE that I have learnt to be altruistic and perhaps this can help me with tonglen practise. I've struggled to practise tonglen, moreso for myself than others. I also realise that this isn't a permanent achievement. I will constantly have to work at being and/or remaining altruistic. This is just the first step in that direction.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that with you guys
In metta,
Raven
0
Comments
Thanks for sharing. It is always nice to hear how our practice is played out in real life. I had a similar situation a few weeks ago. Won't go into too much detail but friends of mine are going through a tough time in their marriage at the moment. Anyway I was at his place having dinner and lending support when she came around, saw that I was there and went absolutely nuts at me, really attacked me. The old me probably would have retaliated and made the situation worse but the 'improved' me just sat there calmly taking it from her (knowing how delusional she was) and did my best to defuse the situation by talking calmly and telling her I understand how she felt. Next day I got a text apologising and we caught up to talk about things. Felt a real sense of achievement after that episode so I totally know what you are talking about in your post. It is a nice feeling
Good luck with finding a new job (if you are)
RC
In metta,
Raven
If being fired came as such a surprise to you, you very probably missed some important warning signs along the way. You might want to think back on what they might have been, so you don't get blindsided the same way in future.
my boss, who was not the owner, worked 70+ hours a week and had two small boys whom she barely got to spend time with. the father (her ex husband) was no longer in her or the boys' life. and... our job sucked, haha. 10-14 hour shifts everyday with barely any breaks (unless you smoke). i found it particularly helpful to try and put myself in her position. although, i would never condone her behavior. she would literally go on rants about how stupid you were if you made her mad, or just happen to be standing there.
i have cried three times in public, once was when i received a phone call telling me my grandfather had died... and twice were a result of what this woman said to me (and i was a GOOD employee!). but i will say... this woman still stands out in my mind as a shining example of just how unhappy we can make ourselves. there is a fine line between recognizing someone's suffering and using that realization to establish superiority. but although she has put me through a lot of hell, i still have nothing but good feelings toward her. i really do wish that someday her life will be better.
Good advice. Reading this brought to mind the only 2 times in my life I got fired. In both cases I was set up by a person who was very nice to my face, but who felt threatened by my performance making theirs look bad by comparison. I never saw it coming until it was too late. I didn't realize they felt threatened by my performance. To this day I remain somewhat shocked at how much harm these people were willing to cause over something so petty as neither job was a particularly good job (it paid peanuts).
User and 5B, it's interesting as things escalated to the point where she has harrassed my family members. I found out she had told HR that I had done several things (which I hadn't) and had been warned (again I hadn't) and was surprised at how calmly I refuted this via a call with the HR Manager and CEO. I'm still coming from a point of feeling sorry for my ex boss and feel that she has done me a massive favour getting rid of me before the job made my life hell.
I guess I see it as even though I am currently still unemployed and feeling the pinch, I'm still a hell of a lot better off than many others in life.
In metta,
Raven
You'll definitely have to give me a heads up next time you're here
In metta,
Raven