Helping my mom end her suffering?

clearview

I opened up to my mom and told her that I did not believe in god. She said that me not believing in god means that she failed as a mother. I told her because I don't want to hide who I am anymore. The truth is, all I want is for her suffering to end. I see her suffering everyday and I want to help her. I've recommended meditation and she said she is going to look into it. But with her being christian it can be difficult to get her to open her mind to any novel ideas/concepts. All I really want is to help her, and I don't want her to feel like she "failed" as a mom because I don't believe in a higher diety. She thinks that if you don't believe in god you can't live a happy life and I strongly disagree. I've felt more free and liberated in my entire life since I've began practicing buddhism. I see her anxiety and over active mind in work everyday. She thinks that it is just her nature to be anxious but I want to teach her that theres a new way, and that she can live a life of peace and be free alas. She has the kindest soul I know and if I could have one wish in the world it would be to end her suffering. All I want is the best for her but I don't know where to go from here.

tridentblack

My advice? Avoid the two-headed dragon!

I'm really more Buddha-curious than a Buddhist right now, but I do remember hearing a fascinating teaching that I think was from that tradition: It spoke of two headed dragons, where each head espoused an opposing view point, and demanded you side with it. Once you did, the other head would pummel you until you switched, and then you'd get it from the other head. It was only by stepping back and looking carefully that you would notice that the two heads actually came from the same beast, and the choice they demanded you make, didn't have to be made at all.

I feel like outside of partisan politics, the biggest two headed dragon in our society is the choice between religion and atheism. One head of the dragon claims the Bible is flawless and literally true without metaphor or deeper meaning, the other claims that all religion is an insane delusion. Like partisan politics, this divides families and makes tools of us all. However once we step back together and see the choice we are being presented with is fake, we are free to relax, discuss our different spiritual paths, and find common ground, rather than being slaves of two arguing dragon heads. My only advice is thus is to focus on the common areas, Christ's compassion for those suffering, and what that actually means might be a good point of departure...

federica

clearview wrote: »

I opened up to my mom and told her that I did not believe in god. She said that me not believing in god means that she failed as a mother. I told her because I don't want to hide who I am anymore. The truth is, all I want is for her suffering to end. I see her suffering everyday and I want to help her. I've recommended meditation and she said she is going to look into it. But with her being christian it can be difficult to get her to open her mind to any novel ideas/concepts.

Meditation is not affiliated with religion, in any way. A person can be atheist and meditate, a person can be agnostic and meditate, a person can be theistic and meditate. A person can be a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Sikh, a Hindu, a pagan or even a Satanist - and meditate.

Check this link out.

All I really want is to help her, and I don't want her to feel like she "failed" as a mom because I don't believe in a higher diety.

Tell her the fact that you have a discerning brain between your ears, is to her credit. The fact that you can evaluate things you learn, is largely because she gave you the freedom to think for yourself.

She thinks that if you don't believe in god you can't live a happy life and I strongly disagree. I've felt more free and liberated in my entire life since I've began practicing buddhism.

Sometimes it's far better to 'show' than to 'tell'. Don't tell her about living a 'Buddhist Life'. Live it, and show her how fulfilled you are.

I see her anxiety and over active mind in work everyday. She thinks that it is just her nature to be anxious but I want to teach her that theres a new way, and that she can live a life of peace and be free alas. She has the kindest soul I know and if I could have one wish in the world it would be to end her suffering. All I want is the best for her but I don't know where to go from here.

You don't go anywhere. you just love her, support her, comfort her and live as a shining example of just what it is that you're talking about.
Don't talk.
Do.