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"Fake" awareness

lightwithinlightwithin Veteran
edited October 2010 in Meditation
In a book I read about meditation, it said that it's not unusual for people to "create" a mental place inside them called "being aware", which is not true awareness. I understood it like it being a mental "posture" that you take during meditation (or off the cushion too), that you have deluded yourself into believing is direct experience of the moment, when it really is far from it.

I have noticed in my own practice that I take this "prepackaged attitude" or posture (both mental and physical) when I'm about to begin a session, and then while I'm there, I will revert back to it when my mind approaches anything remotely close to seeing the moment for what it is.

As I peel off the layers of conditioning and delusion and work towards direct experience during my session, I get to places inside of me that I'm not completely comfortable with, and this seems to trigger a "trip" into this fake awareness, just as a way to cope with the stress of true reality.

Any of you experienced something similar? What are your thoughts on this? Just curious.

Comments

  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited August 2010
    To be honest, it sounds like the author of that book is overthinking matters. It's best to keep it simple. When you sit, there are your physical sensations and your thoughts. (Emotions are a combination of both a physical sensation and a mental event.) "Awareness" is really another layer of complication that isn't necessary to concern yourself with. Coming back to the simplicity of the physical sensations or the transitory events in the thoughtstream -- either though the breath, or another present-moment vehicle, such as metta phrases -- is all that's required.
  • rachMielrachMiel
    edited August 2010
    Glow wrote: »
    Coming back to the simplicity of the physical sensations or the transitory events in the thoughtstream .. is all that's required.
    All that's required ... for what?
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited August 2010
    rachMiel wrote: »
    All that's required ... for what?
    Establishing adequate samatha (calm abiding) so that you have a stable vantage point from which to experience vipassana (clear seeing) through which to practice samma-sati (translated usually as "right mindfulness"; probably closer in meaning to "accurate recollection"). In the classical Pali texts (e.g., the Satipatthana Sutta), the Buddha begins with the breath as a focus of attention: "Ever mindful he breathes in, mindful he breathes out. Breathing in a long breath, he knows, 'I am breathing in a long breath'; breathing out a long breath, he knows, 'I am breathing out a long breath'; breathing in a short breath, he knows, 'I am breathing in a short breath'; breathing out a short breath, he knows, 'I am breathing out a short breath.' etc."

    ETA: @lightwithin: Regarding your original question: Just out of curiosity, what separates this postural awareness from actual awareness? Is there an identification to thoughts or a clinging to a particular experience that isn't there when real awareness is there?
  • lightwithinlightwithin Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Glow wrote: »
    @lightwithin: Regarding your original question: Just out of curiosity, what separates this postural awareness from actual awareness? Is there an identification to thoughts or a clinging to a particular experience that isn't there when real awareness is there?

    I'd say it's more of the way the information my senses gather is processed. When I'm really aware, both my mind and body are in constant flow and reality is vibrant and alive. When I'm in the "fake" awareness mode, the world just doesn't seem to hold any truth to it and reality is watered down and dim. My body is frozen in one position and the energy doesn't seem to flow.

    For me, fake awareness means that I sit down and say to myself "OK, I'm being aware now", when I really am not. I'm unknowingly trying to hold on to any given feeling, thought or bodily sensation. Real awareness on the other hand, is in constant flow and completely "unfrozen".
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Ah, ok. I think actually that's a very common experience. It certainly sounds like something that happens when I meditate much of the time. I personally don't think of it so much as fake awareness so much as the mind naturally wanting to hold into pleasant things or react to unpleasant things or get bored with neutral things (like the breath) or sometimes it just might be "sluggish" (not staying up to speed with what's happening moment-to-moment; lagging behind in thought). When it happens, I remind myself that awareness can only happen in the present moment: the past is a memory and the future an expectation. All there is to be aware of is here now. And now. And now. And so on. I keep coming back "home" to what's here like that.
  • lightwithinlightwithin Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Glow wrote: »
    When it happens, I remind myself that awareness can only happen in the present moment: the past is a memory and the future an expectation. All there is to be aware of is here now. And now. And now. And so on. I keep coming back "home" to what's here like that.

    This is what I try to do as well, but it's amazing how long I can stay in "neverland" sometimes without even realizing it. Coming back to here and NOW, is certainly easier said than done! Haha. At least for me.
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited August 2010
    lol, true. Oddly, the more difficulty I have attending to what is there, the simpler the solution actually is. That's why I was mentioning keeping it simple. Coincidentally, I found a book at the library the other day called Unlearning Meditation: What to Do When the Instruction Get In the Way by Jason Siff that speak to this very issue. Siff actually recommends letting go of instructions even temporarily (even the instruction of being aware) to experience something more open-ended in order to "refresh" your practice. I've only read bits and pieces so far, but it seems like a good read. (There a review on Amazon that has a nice summary of its contents.)
  • lightwithinlightwithin Veteran
    edited August 2010
    Yeah, sometimes I stop trying to "do" anything, and I just AM for a while and that feels better than when I force things. I remember learned instructions during my sessions, but I don't adhere to them unreasonably.
  • rachMielrachMiel
    edited August 2010
    Glow wrote:
    rachMiel wrote:
    Glow wrote:
    Coming back to the simplicity of the physical sensations or the transitory events in the thoughtstream .. is all that's required.
    All that's required ... for what?
    Establishing adequate samatha (calm abiding) so that you have a stable vantage point from which to experience vipassana (clear seeing) through which to practice samma-sati (translated usually as "right mindfulness"; probably closer in meaning to "accurate recollection").
    that sounds so complicated and conceptual! i just want to be in _____________ (awareness, rigpa, presence). simple, direct, full-on. :-)
  • GlowGlow Veteran
    edited August 2010
    lol, it's less complicated than the language makes it sound. Buddhist terminology (in all traditions) is rather analytical and likes to break things down as precisely as language allows. All it means is you step out of your storylines (establishing presence) long enough to see what's really going on in this thing called a life.
  • rachMielrachMiel
    edited August 2010
    now that's something i can get my gut around. ;-) thanks, Glow! :-)
  • jinzangjinzang Veteran
    edited August 2010
    The "fake awareness" is just a stage in practice. It's like putting scaffolding up to repair a building and then taking it down. No problem.
  • ParadoxParadox
    edited August 2010
    I have this problem with the idea of "acceptance." I keep slipping into the belief that it's something I have to do, not just an attitude.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited August 2010
    My teacher calls this 'the Watcher'. It is just thinking..

    Awareness on the other hand is indestructible... It never comes or goes.. It is like you just need to wipe the dust away and it is revealed underneath.

    An example is when you are waiting for thoughts so you can say 'just thinking'... After awhile you realize that what you are saying to yourself is 'pounce pounce pounce pounce'.


    Anyhow awareness is indestructible... Its always here. You've never had a moment that was not awareness.
  • viewportviewport
    edited October 2010
    Glow wrote: »
    Coincidentally, I found a book at the library the other day called Unlearning Meditation: What to Do When the Instruction Get In the Way by Jason Siff that speak to this very issue. Siff actually recommends letting go of instructions even temporarily (even the instruction of being aware) to experience something more open-ended in order to "refresh" your practice.
    I've gone through 3-4 threads only (just joined), and I'm surprised to find a number of posts about the difficulty of Vipassana (in watching the breath).

    I'm reminded of certain flying lessons. We are told to "sit still and get used to the rock and roll" (the rocking and rolling of the aircraft). If we flinch, it means we're trying to steer the aircraft, instead of intently observing the "rock and roll" (as instructed).

    No textbook can tell us "how much to dip, how much to roll". Only our teachers, plus our observant inner ears (sensing dips and rolls), can directly teach us (by direct experience).

    The Vipassana classes I joined don't seem to have many students having problems of "tensing up and controlling the breath". Or... maybe they just don't voice out their problems, I don't know.

    I have a problem with "instructions getting in the way" for Jhanas. My absoprtion isn't single-pointed. It's split between maintaining my posture (or I'll slouch more and more, muscle tone shutting down), and my meditation object.
  • TheJourneyTheJourney
    edited October 2010
    I would say that reality as it actually is is stress-free. The stress comes from the illusions.
  • bodhiactivitybodhiactivity
    edited October 2010
    lightwithin wrote: »
    In a book I read about meditation, it said that it's not unusual for people to "create" a mental place inside them called "being aware", which is not true awareness. I understood it like it being a mental "posture" that you take during meditation (or off the cushion too), that you have deluded yourself into believing is direct experience of the moment, when it really is far from it.

    I have noticed in my own practice that I take this "prepackaged attitude" or posture (both mental and physical) when I'm about to begin a session, and then while I'm there, I will revert back to it when my mind approaches anything remotely close to seeing the moment for what it is.

    As I peel off the layers of conditioning and delusion and work towards direct experience during my session, I get to places inside of me that I'm not completely comfortable with, and this seems to trigger a "trip" into this fake awareness, just as a way to cope with the stress of true reality.

    Any of you experienced something similar? What are your thoughts on this? Just curious.

    hi lightwithin,

    it takes a lifetime of really diligent practice most-cases to reach the real awareness all the time... our mind's tendency is to do something, but to really let be into real awareness without any fixation at all is not easy ... we have to practice from fake awareness (by which i mean still having fixations, subtle or gross) and slowly slowly it changes... year by year...and then the realisations of non-self and emptiness will arise if one is meditating properly and with the guidance of a realised master. Note that realisation is not the same as 'I-amness' or 'here and now' or nowness etc. those are still experiences and not liberating in the least.

    awareness is always there. It is just that we get in the way.
  • lightwithinlightwithin Veteran
    edited October 2010
    bodhiactivity wrote: »
    awareness is always there. It is just that we get in the way.

    This is what my book said too, in slightly different words. I agree. Reality is always there, all around us and inside us, but the second we process it through our filters based on our concepts, fears, ideas and beliefs, it stops being fresh and vibrant, and it becomes packaged and "fake".
  • SeaOfTranquilitySeaOfTranquility Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Oh Yea.

    It is like when I am deep in a meditation session and I am feeling good and I say to myself this is it.

    Well opps there it goes.

    The old judgemental grasping mind just does want to let anything be.

    It is the same for mindfulness when not meditating.
    Although I sometimes think wow this is cool I am being really mindful. It is at that point I am just reminding myself. :)
  • TheJourneyTheJourney
    edited October 2010
    SeaOfTranquility wrote: »
    ]
    It is like when I am deep in a meditation session and I am feeling good and I say to myself this is it.

    Well opps there it goes.

    This is my biggest problem probably. I'm fairly good at keeping my mind on the breath, but I can never let my breath get refined cuz when it begins to I think "wow my breath is getting refined" and then guess what it's back to normal lol.
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