Tonglen question

Kundo

Namaste,

I have what may be a really dumb question, but here goes:

If any of you practise Tonglen, do you ever find if you are doing it directed to those you know well and care about you may take on any physical aspects of their pain or suffering?

I ask because very close friends of mine are going through a very tough time so I have been doing Tonglen (they asked if I could send any good vibes or thoughts their way) and I've been experiencing physical pain when I do. The pain never stays around, it leaves when I finish "Tonglening" them, however, I've never heard it discussed if physical pain is a normal side effect of Tonglen.

I don't mind if it's helping them, I'm just very curious.

In metta,
Raven

Jeffrey

An important part of tonglen is to recollect bodhicitta before doing the tonglen. Your sense that things could be ok and your hope to go to enlightenment. Which I would say is the wish to be happy. In a good way.

Then when you breath in the feelings of pain and the frustration and the neurosis. The in breath has an end and at the end you have to be ready to drop the pain and let it go. And breath out fresh relief and a sense of having space and being ok. Then again you have to let go of the bliss of that experience.

This is why teachings of bodhicitta and emptiness are necessary to practice in conjunction with tonglen or else you can even become depressed from practicing tonglen.

That caution aside I haven't heard of your specific question. I rarely practice tonglen.

Kundo

Namaste Jeffrey and thanks for your reply.

It's interesting you bring up the bodhicitta recollection. I was wondering if that was why I was feeling pain. I made sure I focused on my intent and made sure I was in the right headspace before beginning Tonglen. I meditated and focused, not just rushed straight in.

But it's destined to remain a mystery perhaps. I can't find anything conclusive to support my experience in Tonglen (even though I personally believe in being empathetic).

In metta and thanks,
Raven

Kundo

Namaste Jeffrey and thanks for your reply.

It's interesting you bring up the bodhicitta recollection. I was wondering if that was why I was feeling pain. I made sure I focused on my intent and made sure I was in the right headspace before beginning Tonglen. I meditated and focused, not just rushed straight in.

But it's destined to remain a mystery perhaps. I can't find anything conclusive to support my experience in Tonglen (even though I personally believe in being empathetic).

In metta and thanks,
Raven

fivebells

The physical pain is almost certainly arising from an emotional reaction induced by the tonglen. It's a good sign.

aMatt

dhammachick,

I would consider your use of tonglen very appropriate the way you describe it. The pain sounds to me as a healthy bodily response to the practice, although being in the exact 'proper headspace' would certainly cause the pain to arise only momentarily if at all.

Consider spending a little time contemplating impermanence before the practice. This could help to dissolve the notion of permanance that might be contributing to your reaction. When I practice tonglen, I've found it better to see the difficulty and suffering as a mist that flows from their journey into my lungs, rather than stones that are being plucked from their river that I am trying to digest.

With warmth,

Matt

mugzy

aMatt, you always have great advice

treederwright

Dhammachick, Its important to have a non-attachment to the person so your not taking on thier pain in secret support of yourself ( just means that you may feel biased toward a friend and not an enemy) What i'd reccommend is that you give a general meditation of " May all beings who are suffering have an end to suffering" this is a non attached way of practicing tonglen. It still helps your friend ,but tremendously helps your "non-friends" or "enemys" . The reason this works so well, is because according to buddhist concept of reincarnation. We have taken infinite rebirths. In those lifetimes beings have been our mothers. The logical conclusion is that some of our current enemys have actually in very likelyhood been our mothers. This is the reason why we can be non objective. This accumulates merit and that clears the two obscurations. The two obscurations are obscurations to knowledge and the obscurations of emotions. By dedicating the merit from "non-objective" Tonglen. You prepare yourself for your ultimate goal to take on the actual physical pain with your supreme realization of emptiness and compassion.

Hope this helps

aMatt

mugzy wrote: »

aMatt, you always have great advice

Thanks for the kind words.