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Just got on anti-depressant... and feeling guity
Hey guys,
I've been on the spiritual journey for few years now. I have made a lot of progress in terms of dealing with my fears and anxiety.
However, I still constantly worry and have pretty high level of anxiety when it comes to being social and thinking about my career path.
Recently, I've grown tired of constantly battling with my worries and anxiety so I decided get on anti-depressant. It's only been 3 days on AD but I feel a lot better already.
However, I feel a sense of guilt because I feel like that I've somehow cheated myself by using AD medication. I also feel somewhat inauthentic to know that my "happiness" is coming from medications.
What are Buddhists' thoughts on anti-depressant medications? Anyone with similar experience?
I've been on the spiritual journey for few years now. I have made a lot of progress in terms of dealing with my fears and anxiety.
However, I still constantly worry and have pretty high level of anxiety when it comes to being social and thinking about my career path.
Recently, I've grown tired of constantly battling with my worries and anxiety so I decided get on anti-depressant. It's only been 3 days on AD but I feel a lot better already.
However, I feel a sense of guilt because I feel like that I've somehow cheated myself by using AD medication. I also feel somewhat inauthentic to know that my "happiness" is coming from medications.
What are Buddhists' thoughts on anti-depressant medications? Anyone with similar experience?
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Comments
Loved it and would recommend it with the caveat that it can be addictive so make sure your doctor isn't one who will just mindlessly write prescriptions if you (or anyone else) tries it.
I learned a lot from the Lorezepam. It would reduce my anxiety to a much more manageable level. At that point I could use other techniques to keep it under control. Without it I couldn't get the anxiety under control.
Today I don't use it any more as I don't need it, but at the time it was a life saver.
I will leave you to infer from what I wrote what my thoughts are on medications for anxiety problems
I can only speak for myself, but I see no problem with medication. I take acetaminophen when I have a physical pain, and consider it skillful. For instance, I get headaches if I have not been hydrating myself properly. When I get a headache, I know why, and do use it as a reminder to drink more water. However, I don't think it is skillful or necessary to sit and feel pain because of it!
In the same pattern, for you to take something to help you with mental pain is also perfectly reasonable. It could be said (and certainly does get said a lot in the Buddhist context) that if you find the root causes and conditions, the medication would be unnecessary. However, for now, there is no need for guilt as there is no such thing as "artificial happiness"... its only that for now, you need a tool to help you.
The only concern I would have is if you use the drug without further study of yourself... as though the drug gives you permission to ignore the symptoms of restlessness that you've been experiencing. If it is used as a tool of your personal evolution, then it is as skillful as any other tool. Use it when you need it, and if/when it is no longer necessary, leave in behind.
I'm very happy that you're feeling better, no matter the cause!
With warmth,
Matt
All that said, if you need the meds, by all means take them. But my advice - from someone who's been there and done that - is to try to make other changes in your life that will allow you to get off them sooner rather than later. Much new research has been done on the effects of things like the EPA component of Omega-3 fatty acids and its effect on mood and depression. There is good indication that ~1000 mg/day of the EPA component of Omega-3 is a powerful tool against depression. So far it's seemed to work for me for going on six months now. Anxiety is another issue, related, but separate. I still suffer from it, sometimes more and sometimes less. I can tell when it waxes and wanes by whether I feel compelled to bite my nails or not. There are, as noted, short acting medications that can help with that, but they ALL have addictive properties (they are all in the benzodiazepine family) and high abuse potential. But they do work. It might be something to ask your physician about, or better yet ask your physician for a referral to an MD psychiatrist for your medications. Don't know if you're in the US, but it is my experience that most general MD's don't have a clue when it comes to psychoactive drugs. They prescribe what some drug rep told them to prescribe, or whatever they read in the most recent journal article that came across their desk. What works for me might or might not be right for you. Lorazepam (Ativan) is not for everyone. There are lots of choices.
Best of luck with it!
Mtns
if you're feeling lots better after only 3 days, i doubt it's 100% due to your medication; antidepressants usually take weeks to fully kick in. it sounds to me like you were ready to feel better, and the medication just gave you a nudge in the right direction. :-)
drop the guilt! you need to get better, and guilt will most likely undermine your healing. once you're stronger and more stable, you can revisit the question of authentic vs. drug-assisted happiness. for now, just enjoy feeling good. nurture it! :-)
The brain is an organ. It can suffer injury, illness, disease like any organ. If a drug helps that is a good thing and nothing to feel guilty about.
Depression is an illness and you are treating that illness. Nothing more, nothing less.
Your really not doing anything wrong or counterproductive to buddhist help.
If you think you are just look up info on Amithaba Buddha or Medicine Buddha and see it as refuge in the buddha.. This is called an antidote leading to partial cessation.
They are the only reason I'm alive now.
And my meditation was just the same on them as off them, so that wasn't affected.
Antidepressants are very useful; just about the only people who diss them haven't needed them.
Be extremely careful with that statement. It is not true for SSRIs! SSRIs (or any antidepressant) *must* not be stopped cold-turkey. It's far more complicated than I can get into here, but trust me, it's a very, very bad, very dangerous idea to stop any antidepressant cold-turkey. I'm not aware of any manufacturer of an antidepressant medication that doesn't recommend tapering the dose down in order to get off of it, and in my personal and professional experience with them, it often takes much longer than the manufacturer recommends to get off of them successfully and without major problems.
Addiction is a totally different concept that does not apply to antidepressant medications. You cannot become chemically addicted to antidepressant medications because they do not possess chemically addictive properties. You *can* however, become psychologically addicted to them, and that happens very often. I'm not saying it happens to everyone, but it's far more common than most medical professionals recognize, mainly because there's no scan or test for it. It's something that takes talking to the patient to discover, and physicians don't have time to talk to people anymore.
Mtns
I am on celexa for depression/anxiety and it has helped me a great deal.
I am of the same thought as many in this thread that if you need them, use them. You shouldn't feel guilty about that. If it is something in your life that you can change, work to do so. If it's a biological issue then the medicine is helping you cope and that's nothing you can change.
That being said I want to echo mtns' statement about going cold turkey. I made that mistake once and it was a very dangerous thing to do. It brought my depression and occasional suicidal thoughts to an almost reality. If my friend hadn't come over when he did, I would not be here to post this.
Also, the mental benefits of the medicine are what's causing you to feel better. rachMiel hit it right on the head..it takes weeks for the chemicals to build up in your body and to really see a difference. This is also the reason it's dangerous to stop cold turkey. You can miss a few days and be fine, but when the chemical balance is low enough you'll REALLY start to feel it and know.
I too have struggled with the issue of whether or not to take antidepressants. I recently went off for a while and I am doing better now with. My experience has been similar to Mountains and I would like to second what they said. They are not a magic pill but a tool that can be used in conjunction with other tools such as omega 3 excersize and meditation.
I dont think they are cheating because they do not bring a permanent lasting happiness. But I understand what you mean especially if this is your first time on them. Right now I would guess you are getting an added bonus of relief becuase you have been down for so long and any respite from that brings about this relief happy mood. However that will fade and you will need other supports as well as the antidepresants then. Or that has been my experience anyway. So as amat advises practice is important right now.
If a friend with a more obviously physical illness said "I feel inauthentic because it seems like my health is coming from medications" what would you say to them. Becuase thats how I view it Antidepresants can only make your brain chemistry more healthy not make you happy which is dependent on many causes and conditions.
The one I am on at the moment I felt the effect in three days. Others I have been on have taken weeks. They are all different and they are bringing new ones out all the time. Trust your own experience. Mindfulness can help you keep aware of how they are affecting you because as Mountains says a particular one can stop working after a while. I have found Loving kindness meditation somewhat helpful and you have to give it the benefit of the doubt and practice for a while to see benefits. I found tonglen helpful as a bridge to even begin to contemplate loving kindness meditation becuase it can starts with the self and I struggled with that. however others have said they think loving-kindness is better first for people with anxiety depression.
Now I've just coaxed her into attending a Buddhist meditation session, which she really didn't want to go to, but seems to have found it okay; and she'll return with me to hopefully start learning more about Buddhism, but my question is, can a Buddhist practise help with 'real' depression; the sort where serotonin levels are low?
The definite answer is 'maybe'. I have no ready links, but it is my understanding that research has been done on the brains of long time meditators and it has shown altered brain chemistry as well as changes in activity in various areas of the brain and I believe even physiological changes in the brain.
Does any of that mean a specific individual will find a cure or even help with a particular malady? No.
I rather doubt it would hurt though.
I agree with this but but maybe the practice could help maintain focus and reduce unwanted negative thoughts?
I'm not saying that nobody has a medical necessity for some of these medications (I don't know your situation), but I'm very suspicious. My sister was taking Xanax, got addicted to it, and then had a seizure and now has really bad memory problems. I trust Marry Jane way more, a plant that's been rigorously rested and used since the dawn of civilization, than at least half the crap that big pharma puts out every year. These aren't my opinions as a Buddhist, just my opinions from experience.
They say pot causes memory loss, but when my sister was smoking weed, she never had a seizure and never forgot basic information from the previous 3 minutes (My sister showed me her new tattoo while she was taking it, and then three minutes later, she showed me the same tattoo again). I mean, some people even pass out cold on Xanax. That's a possible side effect. With weed, I'll fall asleep on the couch if I'm already tired, but I won't pass out in the middle of the day after having adequate rest the previous night. (I've actually stopped smoking for a while, but its not really a life long commitment. If I find a use for it in the future, I'll probably start smoking or vaporizing it again) My advice is to get a medicinal card if you live in California or some place like that. That's just my opinion though. Keep in mind this is just my limited experience around how one drug affected a family member very negatively. Some of the other ones are probably ok, but I despise Xanax.
Your 'happiness' is still coming from you. It's just that your medication is acting as a catalyst or agent in this regard. You can think of it as an assistant in your quest for ending dis-ease (suffering). You probably are aware of this already but you can use your medication while you make strides towards attaining happiness. That is, do all the things that assist in improving mental health like, lots of exercise, eating only healthy foods, take a good fish oil supplement (you want one with lots of DHA and EPA), watch inspiring and uplifting movies, seek out a temple of your choice to practice dharma or your particular faith, etc. Then, once you feel better, you can try cutting back your meds and see how it goes. 'Remember it's your path to create, so create as you wish.'
Lots of luck, eh!