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How to get over a crush?

painpain
edited October 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Hi there,

I'm having bit of struggle getting over this crush of mine. She's in my school and I've had a crush on her over a year. Even just seeing her at school gave me a big anxiety for some reason.

Recently, I really got sick of having all these fantasies about her so I finally mustered enough courage to ask her if she wants to "study together" this week.

She was hesitating and telling me she was pretty busy this week which was a polite rejection.

Even though things didn't go as I wanted, I'm still glad I had the courage to ask her so I won't sit here obsessing about her and wondering if she will like me back.

On the other hand, I'm feeling pretty depressed since the incident. I'm not sure why. I feel like a failure in a way. It was a low blow to my ego.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on how I should get over this ordeal...

Comments

  • nanadhajananadhaja Veteran
    edited October 2010
    My friend you will get over this.Oh to be young.I went through this sort of stuff,many,many summers ago.It hurts for a bit and then you meet some one else.I hope that that you and this young lady can be good mates.
    Congrats on having the guts to ask,and by the way maybe she is busy this week.It may not be a no,it could be a not yet.
    Don't feel like a failure.I had many rejections in my life,but I also had plenty of ok's as well.
    Cheer up my friend its not the end of the world.
  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Just try to be mindful of the way you feel and know that it is impermanent. Feelings are just feelings, they come and go without our control. A large part of what you feel is probably due to hormones. You can't do anything about it, it's just nature that's all. Just let it be and remember that it's not who you are, it happens to everyone at your age.

    Acceptance, rejection, success, failure, pleasure, pain...these are just the worldly winds. One day we are winners, the next day we are losers. Everyone is in the same boat. Just remember that its not your fault, everyone experiences this, it is the way things are.
  • LincLinc Site owner Detroit Moderator
    edited October 2010
    As someone who has had many unrequited crushes, I can tell you it only gets better and one day you can look back on them with simple happiness for having experienced them.

    In the present, just be mindful that there's nothing more to be gained by focusing on them.

    And then... remember it's easy for me to type these words and a million times harder to do it. :) Be patient with yourself and keep moving forward.
  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Unrequited crushes just plain old suck rocks. Ask somebody who's had more than a few! But one day, "she" will say yes, and your world will rock. Or at least I keep hoping so at age 48!

    :)
  • PietroPumokinPietroPumokin
    edited October 2010
    have yo uever watched those movies where the guys with no chances go after the girls that have it all????
    you've got to do exactly just that.... and for example when something like the battle of the bands comes up, you get a band together, and you're the lead singer/sguitarist, and she's out in the crowd,, but the strong/mean jock is all like thinking she's his babe, but she's keeping a safe distance from him still "waiting for the right guy to come along" , playing with this jock like a mouse gets played by a cat, and that's YOU, YOU'RE the right guy.... and so you're up on the stage, and everything's right where it should be, the stars are all aligned, and she's in the middle of the crowd , and you get into the emotional climax of the song and she's there looking at you, and you look at her, and it all dissolves for just long enough longer than a second, and after the show you guys meet up........ and she ends up moving to boston a week later and you realize that it wasn;t meant to be and you meet some cool girl a couple years later who you make it with for several years and then something in you is just like ahhh man i need to do something different and then you kinda wobble with her then break up and then you go to europe and the n it all tumbles from there......... oh god i need to get a job
  • GuyCGuyC Veteran
    edited October 2010
    lol Pietro, hilarious.
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