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Strange question about being "proud"
This may seem like an odd question, but I am wondering what Buddhists say about being "proud". For example, I am so proud of my daughter and my husband, and I am always talking about them and how wonderful I think they are, and telling everyone how much I love them, how lucky I am, etc.....Is that "ok" to do???
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Never a truer a word spoken!
Metta Sutra
The love of parent for child is the foundation for all compassion. When our feelings of pride for our child arise from this, how can it not be beneficial? It is a contribution to our child's sense of worth.
I suppose my only reservations are about pride becoming more important than unconditional love, about pressure to 'succeed' in the parent's terms rather than the child's.
I'm sure it's been posted before, but it merits repeating.....
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
I think that Pride for our family is a commendable thing. But as with everything, it is something to be carried in our hearts and minds, not like a permanent Essence, but like a bird waiting to take wing.
I don't think it will be much of a problem... Your genes live in him next time even as you die, so that due to genetic factors, you are always "guiding" him, influencing his every thought and how he responds to enviromental factors... Again I preach my philosophy of "let it live on".
They already cause you suffering... If your little girl falls over and hurts herself, or your husband has "a bad day at the office"... you 'feel' for them... you want to kiss it better, or make it go away.... this is Compassion, but with attachment... if you see someone else's little girl fall over in the park, you feel bad for her, as her mummy picks her up, but not as badly as you do for your little girl... if a good friend tells you her husband isn't doing too good at work at present, the same goes... you're sad, but you don't feel the same way about her partner as you do for your man... The secret is to have that special bond for your loved ones, but to even out the Compassion....
This is a really good trick if you can do it. I have not managed it yet.... I'll let you know if I do.....!:crazy:
Avalokiteshvara, who represents Universal Compassion as one of the "sons" of the Buddha, weeps at the sight of human suffering: that is what love does. It is not all smiles and happy times; much of love's time is spent mourning.