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How do you overcome slander?
Imagine this scenario.
You live on a small 7 by 9 miles island, population of under 90,000.
Everything well connected and easily accessible.
You were married for a short period, but you split up with your ex-wife shortly after being violently assaulted by your ex-wife only days after your only siblings funeral.
Your brother died of an overdose, following a highly stressful period of which he fails to cope with vicious slander that was spread about him.
Your marriage was strained at the best of times due to your ex-wife's religious beliefs (Jehovah Witness) and her infidelity, which was encouraged by her sister who is a malicious, compassion-less sociopath con artist who's only talent in life is her skill at using sympathy ploys and lying.
She is also into pseudo "black Magic" and views herself as a witch....
Using slander as her primary method she contacts people who you are involved with in order to ruin your relationship with them.
She contacts the various people and makes up that you are a covertly mistreating your wife using domestic violence and psychological bullying labeling you as a wife beater / rapist / peodefile / heroin addict / Drug Dealer / Racist / Neo Nazi / Communist / Capitalist / bigot / Christian Hater / Buddhist Hater (What ever will make the targeted person hate you).
In real life you are none of the above.
All is done covertly and "in confidence". You start getting picked on by everyone that you have contact with apart from perhaps your family and your closest fiends.
Eventually you break up with your wife.
Even once you have broken up, the malicious parties continue to follow you and continue to ruin your relationships. Worse still, your ex-wife who is bitter and twisted starts to join in with the malicious slander, which has even greater potential to damage your reputation as she works for the children's service.
Your ex-wife's sister also gets married and her new husband and all their acquaintances all help to further their cause of ruining your life.
They even go to the extent of using sniperspy spyware to stalk you online and follow you to even internet forums and continue to spread their vicious slander to ruin any chances you have of making new friends.
Haven all ready ruined you marriage, most of your relationships with your old friends, they continue to ruin your present with their slander.
The police aren't interested in any complaints you make, perhaps because they can't be bothered.
What do you do?
I know Milarepa went through much the same on his path to enlightenment.
Still, the whole process is less than enjoyable.
What would you do?
You live on a small 7 by 9 miles island, population of under 90,000.
Everything well connected and easily accessible.
You were married for a short period, but you split up with your ex-wife shortly after being violently assaulted by your ex-wife only days after your only siblings funeral.
Your brother died of an overdose, following a highly stressful period of which he fails to cope with vicious slander that was spread about him.
Your marriage was strained at the best of times due to your ex-wife's religious beliefs (Jehovah Witness) and her infidelity, which was encouraged by her sister who is a malicious, compassion-less sociopath con artist who's only talent in life is her skill at using sympathy ploys and lying.
She is also into pseudo "black Magic" and views herself as a witch....
Using slander as her primary method she contacts people who you are involved with in order to ruin your relationship with them.
She contacts the various people and makes up that you are a covertly mistreating your wife using domestic violence and psychological bullying labeling you as a wife beater / rapist / peodefile / heroin addict / Drug Dealer / Racist / Neo Nazi / Communist / Capitalist / bigot / Christian Hater / Buddhist Hater (What ever will make the targeted person hate you).
In real life you are none of the above.
All is done covertly and "in confidence". You start getting picked on by everyone that you have contact with apart from perhaps your family and your closest fiends.
Eventually you break up with your wife.
Even once you have broken up, the malicious parties continue to follow you and continue to ruin your relationships. Worse still, your ex-wife who is bitter and twisted starts to join in with the malicious slander, which has even greater potential to damage your reputation as she works for the children's service.
Your ex-wife's sister also gets married and her new husband and all their acquaintances all help to further their cause of ruining your life.
They even go to the extent of using sniperspy spyware to stalk you online and follow you to even internet forums and continue to spread their vicious slander to ruin any chances you have of making new friends.
Haven all ready ruined you marriage, most of your relationships with your old friends, they continue to ruin your present with their slander.
The police aren't interested in any complaints you make, perhaps because they can't be bothered.
What do you do?
I know Milarepa went through much the same on his path to enlightenment.
Still, the whole process is less than enjoyable.
What would you do?
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Comments
The victim must first learn to disarm his own sense of hatred and anger for it will stop any possible positive outcomes from occurring.
He must recognise that this is a ripening of his previous karma and not just theoretically, but from his heart, recognise this and develop a sense of acceptance.
He can practice tong-len to aid self-healing emotionally. And recite prayers to heal all parties involved. At no time should he try to hit back or take revenge, or even leave anyone out of his healing because he hates this person. It will only compound the karma. When the practice of tong-len deepens, it is possible to give rise to compassion instead.
He can appreciate that even though his situation is bad, there are many people who are in worse situations than his and in greater suffering... from this develop appreciation and also give thanks and also take it in perspective to see the truth of Buddha's words in the first noble truth... the suffering in samsara.
These steps if well taken, can help this person to develop beyond his present limits and spiritually he will progress. Instead of letting the situation make him stew in his mental poisons, he can transform into fuel to go further on the spiritual path.
It is all up to him...
Thank you for your advice, however, I personally am not completely convinced that this is how Karma works.
I do not believe that people doing bad to others is always the fault of the person subjected to the abuse.
This theory is subject to abuse. Especially if the victims are dogmatic idealists.
For example, if I knew you were a dogmatic believer in Karma from past lives, I may manipulate this belief to my favor. Do something bad to you and then blame you!
For me to believe in Karma, it would take complete knowledge of all Karmic transactions from the point of origin of the universe to recent activity in this life in order to be able to reconcile all transactions and to prove that I the Karmic transactions that are happening to me in this life is due to my past actions.
With out this complete knowledge, the concept of transmigratable karma is only a theory.
I do not believe in reincarnation and am not convinced in life to life karma.
I do believe in cause and effect and I do believe in the interconnected nature of the net of cause and effect.
With these belief's, I understand that the world of human relationships are very much like the physical world in that actions cause a positive or negative reaction, which in turn, potentially cause additional reactions or chains of reactions.
As with the physical world, I believe that the world of human relationships is similar in the way that one reaction from within the net of cause and effect can effect other parties who had no part in generating the cause.
Without a blueprint. Karma is nothing more than an abstact theory. One that is malipulated by malicous parties.
For example, if you were living happily with your wife, minding your own business, and another man turns up and wedges you apart using any means necessary.
He may tell people that this is your karma for being such a bad person and portray himself as the innocent hero although all the negative causes have been generated by him.
I don't think the issue is his hatred but the Hatred and maliciousness that he is being subjected to.
The issue of taking revenge isn't isn't mentioned either, this issue is more about finding a practical solution to protecting himself from these anti-buddha's (the opposite of buddha's), as although one may find it in their heart to forgive the malicious parties, and perhaps even cultivate compassion for them, this compassion and forgiveness will not protect him from their malicious activity.
Some may argue to endure such persecution and to rejoice in such fruitation of karmic seeds, however, to do so would to put a lot of blind faith on reincarnation and the law of karmic retribution and potentially allow malicious parties to ruin your life.
I would prefer to refraim from any dogmatic belief, and would look for a more practical solution that could work during this real life.
However, if it is their karma. then why is it effecting my life and not theirs.
When you live in a small islands, gossip spreads like wild fire, and before you know it, the gossip based on slander has become fact and the whole island are treating you like an outcast.
Not many people are all compassionate Bikku, giving out love unconditionally. In fact, most people in the west are materialistic selfish egocentric hedonists with little time for people with problems.
They may not believe you, but you must believe yourself. In the end, it will all work out one way or another.
Thank you for your advise. I agree.
However, this scenerio is tough as I know that many people are not kind and many will believe anything negative said as the gospel truth, perhaps this is a method of protection, just in case the slander is true.
One must be very strong when faced with such circumstances as how people see you does effect your journey in life.
That would be illegal if the computer is not owned by her. Can you prove that she did this? How did she get access to your computer/information to set this up?
This honestly seems pretty farfetched and unlikely to me unless there's something you've forgot to mention. What has made them act this way, even if you feel it's an unjustified response?
In my experience, the police treat some people with complete favor, letting them off all offenses, while others get hammered without reason.
Police are human beings and are subject to corruption, as much as any other human being in Samsara.
The majority of the police are men, who are also subject to their own weaknesses.
If I was female, had big breasts, was able to flutter my eye lashes and was good at fake crying, the police would be more helpful.
Sniperspy software can be used to gain access of almost anyones computer, it is delivered via email and can be used to gain access to peoples computers, their email, the websites that are being accessed, pretty much everything that the person uses the computer for.
It is illegal, although the internet laws are presently insufficient and are pretty confusing at the moment. Even if you had loads of money, and had a good lawyer (which is hard to find) this would be hard to follow up.
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Ex-wives often have access to their ex's home through keys to door.
In extreme cases, people may even break in, as locks on rented accommodation are often yale knight latches which are easily forced and easy to replace with out detection.
Also hard to prove, especially to police who don't want to prove it.
Not far fethched. These things happen all the time.
May be hard for you to understand but still true.
We all have lived different lives and have different experiences.
People who have led sheltered lives may not believe the things that some people living around scum bags have been through.
Does not mean that such events can not happened.
I'm talking about things even like this: "which was encouraged by her sister who is a malicious, compassion-less sociopath con artist who's only talent in life is her skill at using sympathy ploys and lying."
I am making this suggestion for your benefit.
They are not insufficient. It is straightforwardly illegal to use such a program to spy on someone else. It is illegal to install such software on a computer that is not your own without the owner's permission. Again have you taken proof of these things to the police or a lawyer?
I know what SniperSpy is. How did it get installed on your pc? Did you confirm the e-mail or did your ex install it?
Change your locks. Regardless of whether she has a key, if she entered the home without your permission and she isn't on the lease/mortgage, then she broke in and was trespassing. Did you call the police?
Did you call the police when she assaulted you?
In extreme cases, people may even break in, as locks on rented accommodation are often yale knight latches which are easily forced and easy to replace with out detection.
Also hard to prove, especially to police who don't want to prove it.
I have far from lived a sheltered life. I'm not saying this isn't happening. I'm saying that there is clearly pieces of the story missing because so many unrelated people would not normally get involved in something like this. Why are aquantences of the sister's husband involved and slandering you?
Practice loving kindness for those that do you harm and wish for them to get enlightenment and be free of suffering. All the while feeling compassion for them because they are sowing the seeds for the continuation of their suffering.
I asked a question with regards to a scenerio.
This is subjective opinion doesn't identifies anyone and represents fictitious individuals who may or may not be similar to people in real life.
This is a scenario.
If this scenario was about me, I would not disclose any action taken.
Also. Please note that the police and the Law system works differently compared to what area you live in, as do lawyers.
This is a scenario.
Some people will get involved in such things if they have been given a reason to, if they believe that the person they are damaging is a bad person.
Not everyone is nice. Some people are sadistic and will pick on someone, if they feel they are justified.
For example, if Mrs. A told everyone that she knew that she was being bullied by Mr. X, the friends of Mrs. A may start bullying Mr. X without evidence and Mrs. A may have made up everything because she is nasty.
Sniperspy?
If you read the small print on the contract, you'd know what you signed up for when you became a human being. Right at the bottom it says "All human beings are subject to the Eight Worldly Winds: praise, blame, pleasure, pain, gain, loss, fame and disrepute". It might help to know that we aren't the only one that this happens to, it happens to all of us from time to time. Sometimes we are falsely accused, unfortunately this is just the way of the world.
There is a Zen Story about this:
http://www.101zenstories.com/index.php?story=3
You asked "What would you do?"
Did you call the police on any of these occasions?
Or are you going to refuse to answer again?
Ok then my suggestion is to call the police, if she assaults you, if they come into your home, if they harass you, if they stalk you... and don't go to them and talk in hypotheticals and not take any proof of your claims. My suggestion is to not continue to allow these "scenarios" to arise: change your locks; don't open e-mails unless you were expecting them and are absolutely certain as to what they are.
Ok, how do the police, law systems, and lawyers work where you live? where do you live so I can look up the laws?
I have no idea what you're trying to say. Why won't you answer these questions? You're wasting our time.
If this is what people are like on the island you live on, or that the imaginary character in your OP lives on, then I suggest that you or the imaginary character you created move ASAP.
So is this story true or not?
Well that was 10 wasted minutes of my life, thank you.
The point is that no one is suffering. This was supposed to be a hypothetical "what if?" scenario that we were to ask ourselves and... well something big, mind-altering, life-changing, was supposed to happen as our true selves were revealed or... well I don't actually know what the point of this stuff is. But quite honestly if someone is going to post things like this, they should make it blatantly clear that the story isn't true and what the purpose of posting it is, because clearly a lot of people took it to be true and about the OP. It's not that I'm "not comfortable with it," it's that I found it misleading and a waste of time.
Again, what was the point of this Thread exactly?
In the UK we have the Harrassment Act. Prove that on 3 occasions this person has caused you distress in this way and they may be prosecuted, and even face jail in some cases.
Simply advising this person that for their own good the slander must cease, and advising them of the local law where you are, may be a solution.
If their defamation has had negative consequences you may wish to take legal action under defamation law. If anything appears as libel (in permanent form) on the internet you may prsecute using ther laws of ANY country where the libel may be seen. of course, just waving this under their noses may work.
Being compassionate and reducing suffering does not necessarily equate to 'nice'.