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How I coped with anger and sadness today...
Keep in mind I am a beginner, but I am trying to apply Buddhism to my daily life. Today, I got an opportunity.
A girl sitting next to me in my lecture hall discovered a bee on her friend's backpack. She cried out, wanting to kill the bee, and I told her to leave the bee alone. I said, "unless you are allergic, the bee can't really harm you, and besides, he is resting peacefully right now not bothering anyone".
She ignored me, however, saying that bee stings hurt, and so she killed the bee. I then said, "there was no need for that, the bee wasn't bothering anyone, there was no need to kill it". She then replied, "Well, there was no need for it to be alive either".
I did not respond, because at that point I had been lost to my anger and I knew that if I said something it would be hateful. I was also very sad for the bee. I am not a vegetarian, but I do not like to kill for any reason other than food. I never kill bugs that I find in my dorm, because I don't want to kill something for no reason.
However, I caught myself. I reminded myself that this girl doesn't know what I know, she doesn't see the beauty in a spider's web, or find herself amazed at the bee's ability to make honey. I reminded myself not to be angry, but instead, be hopeful that she will one day appreciate these things that bugs can do and refrain from wanton destruction of all things creepy-crawly. And as for the bee, he will likely be much happier in his next life, perhaps he will be a human who stops people from killing bugs?
And then I was able to focus on the lecture
How did I do? I know I didn't succeed in letting go of my emotions, but I did manage to turn the negative emotions into happy ones.
Any feedback would be appreciated.
A girl sitting next to me in my lecture hall discovered a bee on her friend's backpack. She cried out, wanting to kill the bee, and I told her to leave the bee alone. I said, "unless you are allergic, the bee can't really harm you, and besides, he is resting peacefully right now not bothering anyone".
She ignored me, however, saying that bee stings hurt, and so she killed the bee. I then said, "there was no need for that, the bee wasn't bothering anyone, there was no need to kill it". She then replied, "Well, there was no need for it to be alive either".
I did not respond, because at that point I had been lost to my anger and I knew that if I said something it would be hateful. I was also very sad for the bee. I am not a vegetarian, but I do not like to kill for any reason other than food. I never kill bugs that I find in my dorm, because I don't want to kill something for no reason.
However, I caught myself. I reminded myself that this girl doesn't know what I know, she doesn't see the beauty in a spider's web, or find herself amazed at the bee's ability to make honey. I reminded myself not to be angry, but instead, be hopeful that she will one day appreciate these things that bugs can do and refrain from wanton destruction of all things creepy-crawly. And as for the bee, he will likely be much happier in his next life, perhaps he will be a human who stops people from killing bugs?
And then I was able to focus on the lecture
How did I do? I know I didn't succeed in letting go of my emotions, but I did manage to turn the negative emotions into happy ones.
Any feedback would be appreciated.
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Comments
You saw an opportunity to try to prevent needless suffering and took it. It didn't work out as it was beyond your control so you accepted it and refrained from harsh judgment, but instead found compassion.
Can't find fault in any of that.
Well, to hear some teachers use the word, everything is dhamma. You know, you have a bad experience and that is dhamma, you hear the Buddha's teaching and that is dhamma. You go to McDonalds and order a big mac and they ask you if you want dhamma with that.
Now, my friend has an irrational fear of spiders. Yesterday at his house, he pointed out all the dead arachnids in his porch as a result of all the 'broom work' he'd been doing. I don't get mad about it, that's what he does despite many suggestions, the general tone is hysteria and pandemonium.
That was out of my hands. He kills the spiders at his house; I save spiders in my home. They can't all be in the right place at the right time. That's a fact we have to deal with.
Hahaha! Hence my confusion
I was very happy to read this. You are on a good path. I hope you continue to find solace in the Dhamma at times like these. I'm still trying to.
In metta,
Raven
But you do realize that you do not need to kill for food either?
I do. However, I limit my intake of flesh, because I understand that the flesh I am eating came from an animal that gave its life to feed me. And I try to do good things for animals in many other ways, such as walking dogs for my local animal shelter.
In a Buddhist context, the meaning of dhamma {pali} or dharma {sanskrit} is two-fold. In general use, dhamma in means a phenomenon; a basic unit of existence and experience. The verbal root is dhr meaning to hold, to support, or to fasten. The Chinese word is 法 {fa, ho}; which means law, method, model, principle, system, way. When dharma is written in English with a little d; it often means a phenomenon. Pluralized as dharmas, it would usually mean all phenomena.
Dhamma {pali} or Dharma {sanskrit} also means the teachings of the Buddha, the Buddha-Dharma. In this use, it is often capitalized, when written in English. Various commentaries are also included as Dharma. Probably, the Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path are kind of a summary or outline of Buddha-Dharma. The Threefold Training; Ethics, Mental-Spiritual Cultivation, and Wisdom-Insight, is a more concise summary. Dharma discussions can stray pretty far, but it always comes back to those basics.