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How do you deal with impermanence?
It's very difficult for me to deal with an ever changing moment.
I have moments when I feel completely sane, calm, at peace, and happy.
A few hours later, I'm down and depressed, wondering how to get back to my happy spot.
Then there a moments of fundamental depression. I'm so depressed and tired I can't even meditate.
How do you deal with an ever changing moment? What do you tell yourself when you're down?
How do we achieve balance so that the up and downs aren't so UP and DOWN?
Thanks.
I have moments when I feel completely sane, calm, at peace, and happy.
A few hours later, I'm down and depressed, wondering how to get back to my happy spot.
Then there a moments of fundamental depression. I'm so depressed and tired I can't even meditate.
How do you deal with an ever changing moment? What do you tell yourself when you're down?
How do we achieve balance so that the up and downs aren't so UP and DOWN?
Thanks.
0
Comments
I tend to get depressed when things go bad with the gf or when I feel nihilistic. Neither have happened much lately. I have been pretty happy lately... which is good 'cause there are no materialistic reasons for it.
You shouldn't try to aim for a 'happy slot'. There a point around which your emotions change depending on events and moods. You want to shift that point. You can't change it by satisfying desires. Rather than trying to make yourself happy, find out what makes you sad. Why does impermanence depress you? Are you clinging onto something? Is that clinging helpful if it's depressing you?
If you remove sadness, you're left with joy. You don't have to seek it.
Or see a psychiatrist.
Once I accepted that impermanence is the only thing that could really be considered permanent, and thus stopped (to some extent anyway - I'm still working on it) trying to cling to things that aren't permanent anyway, life got much less stressful. I find that particularly true in relation to people (and animals) I love, friendships, etc. Not that I'm eager to lose loved ones or friends, just that I know I will lose them, as is inevitable. It makes looking at death a completely different thing.
And that can be applied equally to school, jobs, finances, or whatever. Everything ends. But another way of looking at that is that everything also begins. Don't dwell on the impermanence as being a bad thing.
I'd recommend a counselor over a psychiatrist, btw. Doctors think they know too much...
I also like the idea of equanimity. I just take a step back and view the situation dispassionately. At least I try. But the more I practice the better I get at it.
A few hours later, I'm down and depressed, wondering how to get back to my happy spot"
That is the beauty, knowing that life is constantly moving and constantly changing. Once we begin to really know that, it slowly begins to get easier to let go of what WE want the world to be like rather than what it truely is. You want things to be fixed and permenant, what thing in this entire universe is? Nothing, yet you want it to be so. So by living with the notion that things should remin the same (I want to remain in my happy place, I want to keep my good situation ect) you create and live in Samsara/Nirvana. You want to make one better than the other, failing to realize YOU are making this difference. Fundamentally they are the same. All things that occur are just events. They lack permenance, substance or any kind of inherent quality. They are truely empty arisings. I mean all things, the five aggregates; your body, your feelings, your perceptions, your mental formations and your very conciousness; and that of all beings. These are events, empty arisings. It is your relationship to them that is causing you an issue. You make them fixed in your mind and when they change you suffer.
"How do you deal with an ever changing moment?"
Mindfulness. To realize this emptiness is the truth, not the way I want it to be. But this requires meditation; not just calm abiding meditation but contemplative meditation on these very issues. Knowing something from reading it in a book is one thing but then one must integrate that into one's life and thinking through contemplative meditation.
"What do you tell yourself when you're down?"
I work seriously hard at being mindful. I practice the Four Reflections that Turn the Mind http://www.freebuddhistaudio.com/series/details?ser=X25 as part of my Ngondro practice to keep me grounded and to remind myself how fortunate my existence is. I suffered from depression and changing it came from my practice but also understanding how it comes about and how I kept reinforceing it. I would HIGHLY recommend this CD http://www.dharmacrafts.com/101xAT/2098CD/The-Mindful-Way-through-Depression.html
You have to understand the whys and how you perpetuate it and slowly it will start loosening it's hold on you.
"How do we achieve balance so that the up and downs aren't so UP and DOWN?"
Being mindful, realizing ALL of it is your life, accepting yourself, your life and all that is in it. I would also recommend practicing Bodhicitta http://viewonbuddhism.org/compassion.html
When we practice Bodicitta we shift our focus from just ourselves to others (this will also help with your depression, as when we are depressed our focus is just ourselves and our problem. This only serves to intensify our depression and reinforces our old patterns.) Bodicitta i have found also give rise to compassion for ourselves. We become friendly and at ease with who we are.
Long reply. Take you time your time, go slow and don't try to do it all at once. If your depression is a big issue for you I would work on that first. I used to have a very serious, almost suicidal problems from my depression. Your mind can change, it takes time and work but you must remember you are undoing years of conditioning and reactivity.
My best to you,
Todd