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Tips for establishing daily practice
So when I was first studying Buddhism, I went to a retreat. Then I came back feeling really disciplined and I was able to establish a daily practice and stick to a routine of study and meditation. This was only about an hour a day since I had a job and a family, etc, but it made a huge difference in my life and how I viewed the world.
Now things have changed and I've met with some misfortune and while everything I'm coming out of has actually strengthened my belief in the teachings, my daily practice is in shambles. I'm really struggling with depression, torpor, diversion, etc.
What tips do you guys have for setting up and continuing a daily practice. I mean, how do you motivate yourself to get up and do it?
There are no communities near where I live that I can join.
Now things have changed and I've met with some misfortune and while everything I'm coming out of has actually strengthened my belief in the teachings, my daily practice is in shambles. I'm really struggling with depression, torpor, diversion, etc.
What tips do you guys have for setting up and continuing a daily practice. I mean, how do you motivate yourself to get up and do it?
There are no communities near where I live that I can join.
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Then sometimes when I had more time, I read more.
But lately, I'm doing NOTHING. I mean nada. My dishes are piled up in the sink and I'm online in my spare time and I've just got no interest in life at all. I need to pull out of it and establish a regular practice again because I find it helps me keep off depression and gives me focus so that the rest of my day is productive.
What are you studying? Maybe we can get each other excited about something new to read.
And I'm in a fairly good routine of meditation prior to going to bed. Sometimes it feels like something I just do, like brushing my teeth; I'm not sure if that's good or bad though.
I also try to practice some of the stuff I've learnt in my daily life; particularly in my interactions with my family, and I find that interesting to see how it works out. My relationship with my 14 year old step daughter has really improved in the past few weeks; which I think is pretty amazing. All I do is pretend she's my Mother from a previous life, and my whole attitude has changed towards her, and her's seems to have changed for the better too.
But I think it's the mp3 downloads that keep my interest up, there's loads of Buddhist talks on the interweb.
I'm not reading this anymore, but what I read of it was amazing.
Tosh, what do you recommend for mp3 downloads? I looked for Buddhism podcasts but I was disappointed in the ones I heard. While I'm trying to be more open-minded, I'm not so good with anything that is self-helpy or new agey. I want the meat and potatoes of meditation and mindfulness. That's what does it for me. All the stuff about objects and subjects and sensations, etc. lol What I found in podcasts was more like "accept yourself" etc. Not for me, not yet anyway.
What is YOUR motivation?
Do you want more of the same - or, do you wish to be free of suffering?
All the while you are also changing - you are in the process of dying. Are you ready to die? Or do you see death as an easy 'exit' from suffering?
Do you follow the Eight Fold Path?
Have you heard of the Preliminary Practices?
Unless you have some motivation of course you practice will collapse and become meaningless and therefore a waste of time and effort. Why do something if it has no meaning?
You need to connect with a Buddhist Centre. There you will find any number of practices you could follow.
Giving is a good practice. Do you give away any merit you have accumulated? Do you give of your time? To you help others? Are others important?
Unless you wish to be free of suffering then the dishes will pile up in the sink. Yes, you will feel miserable and insignificant being blown about by each and every ideology that sweeps through your mind.
Here is a site in the Tibetan Tradition which might prove helpful. They are well respected and have lots of freebies available and worthwhile links to follow up on.
But unless you really wish to be free of samsara no one can help you - only you can do that.
The thing is you have to have a reason to practice. If you started your practice with no real reason then it will fall away.
"Since death is certain, but the time of death is uncertain, what is the most important thing now?"
To learn how to die properly so we don't get reborn?
Or at least ensure a positive rebirth.
Yes, that would be a good consolation prize.
Journey, thanks again for that awesome link. It's all stuff that I've read before, but I've never had it presented in such an accessible and organized format. That is motivating!
There aren't any dharma centers near my house except for one Tibetan Buddhist center which I don't feel any connection to. I don't really understand how chanting about demon slayers in another language is going to have any effect on my life. I don't understand all the other Americans who are there. How is this relevant to them?
I studied at the Root Institute in Bodh Gaya when I was in India and it was fantastic. I'm looking for something like that- more along the lines of practical meditation and philosophy, tips for regular living. I'm not trying to achieve enlightenment and I'm not even concerned about rebirth. I'm focused on this life here and now and how to make the best of it. I figure that in the long run, it may have a positive impact on my rebirth, but that's not what I'm worried about now. Right now, I want to be a good mother, good wife, good employee, good citizen, etc and find meaning in those things. That's all. I've found that Buddhism seems to offer better answers about how to live than the other practices and philosophies that I've explored specifically because the practice of meditation and mindfulness is such a central part of the religion. So really THAT's my motivation- the peace and productivity that it gave me to meditate and practice mindfulness. It helped with every aspect of my life and made me a better person. Meanwhile, I also worked on "right view" and now I have to admit to feeling a sense of detachment that was not there before. This has actually made things a little worse for me now that I'm not practicing mindfulness.
I hope this makes sense.
OK Pine Blossom- I'm answering this here instead of in private message in case someone else wants to chime in. That's the nature of discussion boards right!
"What is YOUR motivation?"
I'm motivated to study Buddhism because in the past it was helpful to my life. That's it. I don't consider this a purely selfish motivation because when I'm feeling better, I'm a better mother, wife, employee and citizen. One of the things that really appeals to me is its practicality. These practices make you a better person which is better for YOU and for others.
"Do you want more of the same - or, do you wish to be free of suffering?"
No one likes to suffer, but asking if I want to be FREE from it? I don't know. That strays into philosophical territory about the nature of our existence and how we find meaning in our lives. I'm interested in having those sorts of conversations and I enjoy studying this stuff. But right now, no. I'm not seeking to be free from suffering. I'm taking very small baby steps. Right now I just want to return to some mindfulness. I'm not looking to free myself from all suffering and attachments- just to develop some regular practice that makes me deal with life in a better way.
"All the while you are also changing - you are in the process of dying. Are you ready to die? Or do you see death as an easy 'exit' from suffering?"
See above.
"Do you follow the Eight Fold Path?"
Hmm... Please keep in mind that my definition of the Eightfold Path is exclusively from the sources I mentioned above.
So in terms of sila: speech, action and livelihood- I do OK. Right speech - I do better with certain people than with others but I try to be mindful of it. The past few weeks I've faltered. Action and Livelihood, I do OK but this is open to interpretation of course!
For panna: I don't think these are practices that you can go back on. They can always grow so naturally I have a long way to go. But once you start working on right view and right thought, you can never really lose what you gain, in my experience. This change in thinking and viewing the world is actually so powerful that it nags at me constantly now that I'm not practicing. It's like I'm not the same person anymore. Sorry if this sounds dramatic.
For samadhi: right effort- no I'm completely lacking. However, this one was MOST helpful to me in the past when I was doing well. Maybe I need some morning reminder of what it means and how to keep it in the forefront of my mind as I found it so helpful. Right concentration I understand as meditation and Right mindfulness I understand as the daily act of awareness. These are the two practices that I need to jump back into. I was devoting 30 minutes a day to meditation and then practicing mindfulness at all times. But when things become really stressful, I succumb to easy habits. This is difficult to do. I've had an all or nothing approach to it.
Thanks for asking these questions. They've made me step back and consider all of this one thing at a time rather than the overwhelming feeling of just depression that I've been submitting to lately.
"Have you heard of the Preliminary Practices?"
No. I will google this, but please offer links or explanations if you have time.
"Unless you have some motivation of course you practice will collapse and become meaningless and therefore a waste of time and effort. Why do something if it has no meaning?"
Well yes, naturally, but that isn't very helpful advice for someone who is struggling with life and with depression. The debilitating feeling is powerful. I've been reading about the Five Hindrances lately.
"You need to connect with a Buddhist Centre. There you will find any number of practices you could follow."
I'm having trouble finding anything like this in my area. I live in Central Texas. Austin is a one hour drive and there are many centers there, but I can't get out there on a regular and practical basis. I have attended one center there, but it was not my cup of tea. See above.
"Giving is a good practice. Do you give away any merit you have accumulated? Do you give of your time? To you help others? Are others important?"
I won't get into all that now, but yes we have a very charitable lifestyle. Also both my husband and I are in professions that involve daily "giving". I won't be too specific here as I'm using my real name (which was a dumb idea in retrospect) and I don't want to be identified professionally. It's OK because I have a common enough name though normally for boys! But actually when you deal with people and situations that are steeped in problems and despair, it can have its toll on you too. That's the downside of a lot of meaningful work.
"Unless you wish to be free of suffering then the dishes will pile up in the sink. Yes, you will feel miserable and insignificant being blown about by each and every ideology that sweeps through your mind."
That is true about the ideologies and the insignificant thoughts. But I can't say that I'm ready to be free of suffering as I read in that being free from attachment. I'm NOT seeking freedom from attachment. I'm very attached to my roles as a mother and wife and citizen, etc. Moreover, I disagree. I think that the Buddha's teachings were far more compassionate towards householders than all that. We aren't all seeking nirvana in this life. I'm seeking to improve my life and my own practice and wisdom. That will naturally help me in future lifes. I'm not seeking the end of suffering now. I don't think that the Buddha intended that a follower would have to seek such an extreme all in one life or else he wouldn't have devoted so much of his precious time to teaching to householders.
"Here is a site in the Tibetan Tradition which might prove helpful. They are well respected and have lots of freebies available and worthwhile links to follow up on."
Thank you. I haven't visited it yet as I've been consumed with Journey's link, but I will go there soon! Thanks again for your questions.
One of the things, that seems to work the best for me, is aerobic exercising (going for a bicycle ride or a jog). It's the best remedy I have found against low motivation and general 'down feeling'. Also what I have noticed is that when I don't do it for long enough in one session it has little to no effect. I'd recommend at least 45min for one session.
Good exercise and being mindful of what you stuff down your throat can do you wonders. -_-
But of course this recommendation can work both ways. For example when one doesn't even have any motivation to go for a jog, one could start battering oneself for not doing that, also. It's all fine, don't worry.
Well, I guess that's what happens when one asks a question - or two ....
The reason I asked was to alert you to the place motivation plays in Buddhism. Without the right motivation the rest cannot follow - we are the result of our karmic imprint. To change that imprint we have to change our thinking and before changing thinking we have to know what is it that creates the urge for some change.
You have done some deep thinking. This is excellent.
Being free of attachment does not mean one is free from a sense of purpose, responsibility or compassion. Being free from attachment really means being from from the exaggerated importance we place on many activities - not the activities themselves.
Equanimity is the appropriate response to all such activities. There is little merit is helping friends when you fail to provide the same response to those who might see as your enemy.
Nor do you have to become a monastic to follow the path. As a householder you can generate the same realizations as any monk or nun.
Thank you for your post.
Every morning I make a cup of coffee and then sit outside. I feel the air and sunlight on my skin and look at the trees. It reminds me that things change all the time; that impermanence is the nature of life. I don't have to think about doing this practice; it's just part of my morning routine. Yet, it greatly helps me respond to the day in a more calm and balanced way.
I'm not sure that I was taught to understand it this way. I'm a little confused about it. But in either case, I'm not seeking to be free from the exaggerated importance I place on my activities either. This is not what I'm seeking. I enjoy the exaggreated importance that I place on all my householder joys and they are worth the suffering that will come with it and No, I'm absolutely not ready to stop craving life experiences and attachment. I'm full of clinging!
One of the things that the Buddhist studies focused on when I took my course was how the Buddha's teachings were scaffolded and how expectations and motivations for monks and nuns can be different than those for lay people. I want to make progress in this life and have a good rebirth and work my way towards wisdom, but right now my motivation is on making peace now with my life now in the roles that I have.
Maybe you are saying the same thing!