Anger/pride

Jules6

Hi all,

I'm not incredibly new to Buddhism but have recently returned to it after a couple of years of inactivity. As it turns out, I seem to need spirituality more than anything else. My issues have always been that of the ego, and I feel very clear about the fact that anger and pride are causing me more suffering than anything else at this time. I want to work on it from a spiritual perspective but I'm not exactly sure how to begin this journey. Any thoughts?

Thanks,
Jules

SherabDorje

Maybe take mindful note of your anger and pride and then don't act on it?

Jules6

I'm trying to be very intentional of my speech, and I can thankfully tell a difference. What I meant to ask was if any of you can suggest some material that covers anger or the ego more extensively? I'm familiar with Tolle, but that's about it.

NamelessRiver

Pema Chodron has some audio material on anger. The name is Don't Bite The Hook, which I like to call Don't Bite The [insert the name of a profession that begins with hook] because it makes me smile and feel better already :-P

Also Thich Nhat Hahn has a book on anger but I am not familiar with it.

SherabDorje

Jules6 wrote: »

I'm familiar with Tolle, but that's about it.

Tolle who?:D

Mountains

Anger (which can be closely tied to pride) is very difficult to let go of. The need to be right, and thus make the other person wrong, is VERY strong. I'm probably paraphrasing Eckhart Tolle a lot, but if you can recognize the need in yourself to make the other person wrong to feed your own ego, it makes it much easier to not react, and not get angry. I've run into this several times in dealing with HIGHLY ego-driven physicians.

But there's a difference between pride, anger, and the need to be right just to feed the ego, versus the need in a given situation to be right because it's the right thing to do. An example was when a surgeon told me (a nurse) to do something that I knew would cause harm to the patient. I refused, and the situation got ugly really fast, because the surgeon (who is completely ego-driven) would not accept my refusal, nor my rationales (of which there were several) for it. I did get angry at his intransigence, but I didn't do so in front of him, thus creating an argument and making a bad situation worse. I was - quite surprisingly - able to contain my anger and direct it toward making sure that what was done was done in the interest of the patient. I knew I was right based on clinical evidence and common sense, so from that perspective, it didn't feed my ego. But it's really hard to know where that line is.

Good luck with your journey. Knowing that you're causing yourself suffering with your anger and pride are a huge step in getting past them...

Mtns

RedhatMike

I picked up Thich Nhat Hanh's ANGER: WISDOM FOR COOLING THE FLAMES @ Barnes & Noble. I found it to be rather useful, although many of the concepts were already familiar to me, having listened to a couple of his talks over and over for a couple of months! The best and most effective thing for me has been daily practice of mindfulness, and when a stress situation occurs (daily, too!), I try to just be mindful of the emotion, breathing until it subsides, then going in a more productive, positive direction.

Mountains

Wow Mike, you have stress *every* day? How unusual you are! Doesn't it make you want to find a deserted beach someplace?

Jules6

SherabDorje wrote: »

Tolle who?:D

I almost came up with something clever, but I lost it.

Jules6

Thanks so much everyone for all of the help. I'll be sure to check out the material mentioned. I appreciate it!

Lajila

Thich Nhat Hanh was a book on anger, and he is always very knowledgeable.

Here is a link to one I found, maybe it can help a little
http://www.scribd.com/doc/3045831/Thich-Nhat-Hanh-Anger-Putting-Out-the-Fire-of-Anger