Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Thoughts on reducing mental sufferng?
Hi, I am new. I am dealing very recently with quitting alcohol cold turkey after drinking for a decade (since age 18, uit sep 12, 2010), just quit cigarettes on october 13, 2010 and am tapering off anti-anxiety medication. Basically feel stoned and strange all the time because of all the chemical changes in my brain. Felt unreal ("derealized") for over 2 and a half years now, cause unknown although the current working theory is that it was caused by a paradoxical reaction the benzodeiaxepine clonazepam (which i won't be off of completely until mid jan 2011). I am having a hard time "keeping it together" day to day.
On the one hand, physically I feel really tired, like I just want to sleep, even when I HAVE slept a lot. Low in energy and mood. I also am scared the sense of being "high" or "in a dream" will never leave (this scares me the most).
I know if I could learn a way to meditate or calm myself down I could have a better quality of life right now, maybe even save some of the energy that is being spent on anxiety, so I can exercise. Who knows.
Right now is kind of like a waiting game for me. I can only cut back my clonazepam (which is making me feel unreal, apparently) by .5 mg a month, which means I have to wait until jan 2011 just to see if that's the cause of me feeling odd and unreal (if it isn't the cause, then I'll have to see a neurologist because this strangeness has lasted over 2 and a half years 24-7 now and gives me vertigo, lightheadedness and distorts time and space, etc). SO I have to wait for the benzos.
just quit smoking, so I have to wait for the nicotine to clear out of my cells to feel better, and I am at transitional housing right now that I can't sleep at (staying with a friend) and waiting for permanent housing (been waiting for over 2 years). So basically I know my life should be about 50% better in general, on the surface at least, within 3-4 months, but it's getting through the next 3-4 months without sleeping constantly that I need to learn to accept and embrace.
I am prone to OCD like behavior (not officially diagnosed, and glad about that as I hate the labels) but I DO have trouble stilling my mind. When I get a thought in my head it seems to repeat and repeat and repeat ad infinitum. As a child this was sometimes helpful, in the sense that when I became obsessed with a topic I would devour anything I could on the topic and "master" it. But it also causes a lot of undo suffering, constantly ruminating abbout the same topic, getting nowhere with it, and ruminating again, like a cow chewing on cud.
I wish I could just stop my brain from going over the same old, same old. I have tried yelling (silently) in my mind "stop!" and other distraction techniques, but my brain inevitably goes back to its old habit of ruminating (almost always about something I DO NOT WANT to think about, of course). It's the pink elephant curse... tell someone NOT to think about a pink elephant and that's all they can think of. Artificial, external distractions like video games, reading and watching TV aren't effective and there is a heightened inner restlessness. (Yes, I am aware part of this is probably from withdrawing from certain chemical substances right now).
I realize the brain and the mind is probably like the body- it has to be trained. Just like the physical body won't be healthy and strong if neglected for years, the brain and mind probably won't work at the their full potential if left to have silent "temper tantrums" for years.
I was watching (half asleep) this show called Super Nanny, something like that, and my mind reminds me of a bratty 3 year old. I need to train it that *I* (whoever "I" am... that's where this gets trippy) is in control.
back to listening to David Bowie, not trippy at all. :rolleyes: Sorry if my posts seem disjointed for a while.
Thanks in advance for any responses and thanks to everyone who has already responded so kindly to me. Glad I found this place.
Lex
On the one hand, physically I feel really tired, like I just want to sleep, even when I HAVE slept a lot. Low in energy and mood. I also am scared the sense of being "high" or "in a dream" will never leave (this scares me the most).
I know if I could learn a way to meditate or calm myself down I could have a better quality of life right now, maybe even save some of the energy that is being spent on anxiety, so I can exercise. Who knows.
Right now is kind of like a waiting game for me. I can only cut back my clonazepam (which is making me feel unreal, apparently) by .5 mg a month, which means I have to wait until jan 2011 just to see if that's the cause of me feeling odd and unreal (if it isn't the cause, then I'll have to see a neurologist because this strangeness has lasted over 2 and a half years 24-7 now and gives me vertigo, lightheadedness and distorts time and space, etc). SO I have to wait for the benzos.
just quit smoking, so I have to wait for the nicotine to clear out of my cells to feel better, and I am at transitional housing right now that I can't sleep at (staying with a friend) and waiting for permanent housing (been waiting for over 2 years). So basically I know my life should be about 50% better in general, on the surface at least, within 3-4 months, but it's getting through the next 3-4 months without sleeping constantly that I need to learn to accept and embrace.
I am prone to OCD like behavior (not officially diagnosed, and glad about that as I hate the labels) but I DO have trouble stilling my mind. When I get a thought in my head it seems to repeat and repeat and repeat ad infinitum. As a child this was sometimes helpful, in the sense that when I became obsessed with a topic I would devour anything I could on the topic and "master" it. But it also causes a lot of undo suffering, constantly ruminating abbout the same topic, getting nowhere with it, and ruminating again, like a cow chewing on cud.
I wish I could just stop my brain from going over the same old, same old. I have tried yelling (silently) in my mind "stop!" and other distraction techniques, but my brain inevitably goes back to its old habit of ruminating (almost always about something I DO NOT WANT to think about, of course). It's the pink elephant curse... tell someone NOT to think about a pink elephant and that's all they can think of. Artificial, external distractions like video games, reading and watching TV aren't effective and there is a heightened inner restlessness. (Yes, I am aware part of this is probably from withdrawing from certain chemical substances right now).
I realize the brain and the mind is probably like the body- it has to be trained. Just like the physical body won't be healthy and strong if neglected for years, the brain and mind probably won't work at the their full potential if left to have silent "temper tantrums" for years.
I was watching (half asleep) this show called Super Nanny, something like that, and my mind reminds me of a bratty 3 year old. I need to train it that *I* (whoever "I" am... that's where this gets trippy) is in control.
back to listening to David Bowie, not trippy at all. :rolleyes: Sorry if my posts seem disjointed for a while.
Thanks in advance for any responses and thanks to everyone who has already responded so kindly to me. Glad I found this place.
Lex
0
Comments
Breathe. It may not work for you right now, or work very well, but practice will hone the edge of your mind and give you greater focus in time. If you are able to maintain a one-pointed state of mind where you can stay with the breath and not be distracted, you will be able to turn your mind to the Buddha's teachings in meditation to fully understand them.
I'm sure there are good meditation guides somewhere on the internet, but I don't have any URLs handy. Anyone?
I've a link to a video to youtube which shows how a man, named Robert Mawson managed to overcome physical and mental obstacles posed by illnesses by the power of his will and the practice of meditation.
Link :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGvQWeeJlqM
And more links about Dhammakaya Meditation:
Audio Guide:
Part one : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi0uT7M7rNM&feature=related
Part two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_-bHHnDqj0&feature=related
Part three: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzJ5BuXET28&feature=related
Etc info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dhammakaya_meditation
"
The identifying feature of Dhammakaya meditation is the meditator's attention towards the centre of the body, at a point described in the Buddhist Sub-commentaries<sup id="cite_ref-0" class="reference">[1]</sup> two finger breadths above the navel. This point is exactly the same point as the end-point of the deepest breath in mindfulness of breathing meditation (Anapanasati). It is called an approach rather than a method because any of the forty methods of samatha meditation mentioned in the Visuddhimagga can be adapted to it. "
There are many methods of meditation and their purpose is to still your mind until the mind comes to a standstill at the centre of your body. Therefore you must find a method which you're comfortable with and practice it.
Meditation helps to reduce anxiety, worries, distractions and help to delay the ripening of negative karma. Meditation also improves sleep, concentration, creativity, anger-management, thoughts management.
In addition, meditation also purifies the mind, the thoughts, speech and bodily actions.
Therefore Meditation can help to reduce your mental suffering.
I hope meditation could reduce your mental suffering just like how it helped to reduce mine
Good day to you and all.
Meditation is something that takes a lot of practice and a lot of patience in my opinion. Try to remember that simply 'letting go' is a good action to remember with regards to meditation, letting go of what your mind worries itself with, what it wants to do next or has done, simply be in the moment and focus on your breathing. It may be easier for you to meditate after a shower and you have eaten so you do not have anything to be doing, something like this.
I would also like to say major props and well doen to you for stopping alcohol and cigarettes, 2 of the most addictive substances out there. This shows great will and strength. Keep at it and remember it will be okay with time
Tom
I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous; if you have problems staying stopped; I can highly recommend them. They use a 12 Step program of recovery (which actually includes meditation; it's how I became interested in Buddhism).
And I can fully relate to how you feel; when I first stopped drinking (it took me a few tries before succeeding) my sleeping patterns were all over the place, time seemed to slow down, and a big hole seemed to open up in the mess that was my life. But I'm on track now, and things are good!
Anyway, that's my 'proselytizing' over; welcome to the forum!
Thank you all for your contributions!
Just wanted to wish you the best Lexical. As a Friend of Jimmy K myself (35 years clean of drugs)
I know exactly what you're going through. Hang in there, and with The Program.
It does work, and things will definitely get better.
Be well! ॐ