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Work problem........need advice

DazzaDazza Explorer
edited October 2010 in Buddhism Basics
Hi everyone,

I have a problem. In my current job I have been accused of numerous things that are totally false. My manager has decided to put me on a disciplinary but said I will not get the sack.
I know I have not done anything wrong, but my manager totally believes the person accusing me whom is very two-faced & manipulative who I can see through but no one else can. I have explained all this to my manager but he will not hear a bad word said about the two-faced colleague.

How would you approach this situation from a buddhist perspective?

It is now out of my control. No one is listening to me. My manager has the final say as he is the top dog so I can't go above his head.

How can I accept this unfair decision without getting extremely angry?

I would leave but there are no other jobs around here whatsoever so I have no choice but to stay.

How can I continue working with these people??

I would be very grateful for any advice.

Dazza :confused:

Comments

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Look for other jobs. In the long run you don't want to stay there.

    Keep working and just ride the anger. You don't have to react to it. Its just a wave passing through. Be attentive to your work.
  • EngyoEngyo
    edited October 2010
    My daughter had a similar situation. She made a complaint through the company's process, and was ignored. She eventually found another job and resigned.

    Yesterday she received a phone call asking her if she would be willing to return to work. The supervisor who was making accusations etc. about her had been fired, after causing even more problems for another employee. The managers apologized profusely for not taking my daughters' accusations seriously, and she got the satisfaction of telling them that their response was too little, too late.
  • LesCLesC Bermuda Veteran
    edited October 2010
    What the others said... AND... cover your back (or points south)... document everything, make sure that what you do and say is verifiable by some other manner other than your word, because as you have learned, your word is not enough.
  • ChrysalidChrysalid Veteran
    edited October 2010
    May I ask the general nature of the accusations?
  • ZaylZayl Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Engyo wrote: »
    The managers apologized profusely for not taking my daughters' accusations seriously, and she got the satisfaction of telling them that their response was too little, too late.
    ahh I love that feeling!

    But yes, stay there while at the same time looking for yet another job. Situations where you are powerless never end well.
  • DazzaDazza Explorer
    edited October 2010
    Hi all

    Thank you all for your kind advice.

    As a practising buddhist it is so hard in the real world to be compassionate to everyone, no matter what. There are so many diverse nasty people around. I suppose you could look at it as a good thing to us buddhists - it is a good way to test your patience and overcome it.

    Chrysalid - There are many things, that I have been accused of. A few of them include hiding from various other staff when they enter the building to look for me & making funny phone calls to other employees!

    The person who has accused me obviously has issues with me. She probably fancies me and knows she can't have me so makes stuff up :crazy:
  • ChrysalidChrysalid Veteran
    edited October 2010
    Dazza wrote: »
    Chrysalid - There are many things, that I have been accused of. A few of them include hiding from various other staff when they enter the building to look for me & making funny phone calls to other employees!
    I'm amazed that you could be reprimanded at all for what appears to be hearsay and the gossip of another employee.

    Is there no higher management than your direct manager that you could go to?

    Of course, if they ever did try to sack you or treat you in any way unfairly they wouldn't stand a chance at an employment tribunal.

    People really can be butt-munches when they want to. :(
  • MountainsMountains Veteran
    edited October 2010
    1. Document, document, document, document. If it's not written down, it never happened. If, and I would hope it doesn't come to this, it were ever to go before a judge or an arbitrator, the one with the most documentation wins.

    2. Find another job. This isn't much different from staying in an abusive relationship with someone. Unless there is some strong indication that the other party (your boss or the company) wants to change, then likely they aren't going to. Time to cut the ties and move on.

    Meantime, just meditate and try to cultivate equanimity and compassion to the best of your ability. Nobody ever said Buddhists don't get mad. We do, or at least I do! :)
  • questionfulquestionful
    edited October 2010
    Shit. That sounds like it sucks! This video might help:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438
    There's also another one on the same subject that I just found. It's actually more specific to your problem:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSQI1e8D3Qo

    My advice is try to understand how your boss sees it. And be completely honest. Explain the whole thing as you see it, without judging people. Point out that you are being accused without proof, and being punished for it. Maybe propose a way to make sure that you don't do the things you're being accused of. Maybe talk to the person that accused you, tell them how much trouble this is causing for you. If you did something to provoke them, try to make amends. If you don't know why they're doing it, ask them. Don't try to hide how much this sucks for you. Just try to find out what you can do to end what's wrong. Good luck.
  • B5CB5C Veteran
    edited October 2010
    I just happen to me. My DM hated me and try to find ways to fire me. Weeks before that I just started learning Buddhism. During those weeks of study I did my best to follow the teachings against these horrible emotions such as anger and hatred. I the day I was fired. I was sad, but not sad enough that I was depressed. I had anger inside me, but it was contained like a small match in a small try. Which quickly burned out.
  • DazzaDazza Explorer
    edited October 2010
    Chrysalid - Unfortunately the manager in question is the managing director and there is no-one above him, just typical :-/

    Mountains - I think what you say is very important about documenting everything. That is what I am going to do from now on. Equanimity - what a great word. Weren't sure what it meant until I looked it up. I had been searching the net for about a month for a word that describes the meaning of that word! Thanks for that!

    Questionful - Thanks for the links for the vids. They are a good find and are very helpful to me. I've subscribed to them now. Good bit of advice too. Cheers.

    Babylon5crusade - Sorry to hear you had been fired but pleased to hear that you had your feelings under control. I am also new to buddhism and I know that following the Buddha's teachings will lead you onto the right path.

    Dazza
  • TribbleTribble
    edited October 2010
    Hello Dazza,

    I am new to the forum and was searching for answers to the same problem and here I am. Thank you for posting your issue.

    Like you I am being falsely accused of things at my job. I only started this job a few months ago and have had some severe personal problems (death in the family, near death of close friend, house robbed, car accident, etc.) . It has taken everything just to get to work but I still completed all my work on time and well.

    A couple weeks ago after I had spent Sunday psyching myself up to even come in to work and my boss decides to call me in for a one on one. He is cowardly so he never did come out and say what I was doing wrong. Supposedly there was a complaint about me leaving an hour early on Friday to take my car to repair shop and not pulling my weight. I know who the complaint came from and her motives but I won't go into detail.

    So I was so upset about this I went home and collapsed. I have been off work on medical leave since. I called my recruiter yesterday and instead of asking how I was or anything like that he tells me my boss has performance issues with me and that he had given my a negative performance review some weeks back? He never gave me any performance review. I had to track him down in September just to get some feedback on how I was doing and this was informal at my request and he told me everything was fine.

    To make a long story short, like you, I am being set up to be fired.

    My dilemma is whether to just resign and get another job. I asked the recruiter if my boss wanted me to come back and he said he didn't know.

    This is a contract job so I have no rights for unfair dismissal or anything like that.

    Part of me wants to confront the boss on his lies but that doesn't seem to jell with my practice as a Buddhist.

    I know if he did let me come back, he would make my life hell until I got fired or quit or I ended up in the hospital. My health is worth much more than that.

    So Dazza, if I were in your shoes I would look for another job elsewhere while you are still at this one.

    Thank you all for reading.
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