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No clinging and romance?
I want to talk about romantic love and Buddhism.
To my understanding, a goal in Buddhism is to love all equally correct? Also, it is important to not desire things we do not have, and not to form bonds with wordy things that could influence your emotions and feelings.
So, where does romantic love fit in? Is feeling a special feeling for someone something to be avoided? What of working towards romancing someone, desiring someone to think of you more than just a friend and trying to charm them into liking you back.
I think I had read that early Buddhist practice stressed no sexual relations of any kind, and that later practices eased it so one could be a Buddhist and have children. Still, I can't imagine how one could fall in love without someone without a certain amount of clinging to their presence. The Dhammapada stresses to not feel passion, isn't love by definition passionate?
Even if we don't feel clinging attachment, by engaging in a romantic relationship with someone we are attaching them to us, setting them up for the inevitable disappointment of worldly pleasures the Buddha warns us of. Also by romancing someone others who love our partner would be hurt as they wanted who we have, we create pain through romance.
tl;dr how does a Buddhist find, feel, and practice romantic love?
To my understanding, a goal in Buddhism is to love all equally correct? Also, it is important to not desire things we do not have, and not to form bonds with wordy things that could influence your emotions and feelings.
So, where does romantic love fit in? Is feeling a special feeling for someone something to be avoided? What of working towards romancing someone, desiring someone to think of you more than just a friend and trying to charm them into liking you back.
I think I had read that early Buddhist practice stressed no sexual relations of any kind, and that later practices eased it so one could be a Buddhist and have children. Still, I can't imagine how one could fall in love without someone without a certain amount of clinging to their presence. The Dhammapada stresses to not feel passion, isn't love by definition passionate?
Even if we don't feel clinging attachment, by engaging in a romantic relationship with someone we are attaching them to us, setting them up for the inevitable disappointment of worldly pleasures the Buddha warns us of. Also by romancing someone others who love our partner would be hurt as they wanted who we have, we create pain through romance.
tl;dr how does a Buddhist find, feel, and practice romantic love?
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Comments
The stuff about sexual relations has, as far as I know, never applied to lay Buddhists, only to monks & nuns. If no Buddhists ever had sex, and never had children, there wouldn't be any more Buddhists within a generation, so that doesn't make much sense. Especially since there are no evangelical Buddhists out there converting the infidels... There's a concept to ponder: Buddhist jihad!
I think that romance should be completely renounced.
I would make a comment about a specific sect but I won't.
But yeah there is supposedly some way to balance love and clinging, but it seems pretty difficult unless your SO is very understanding.
I think this applies to those who doesn't practice meditation. Buddhists practice meditation to reinforce and still their mind and thus they won't be so affected by the suffering and pain of 'romantic attachment/love'.
For many Buddhists romantic love is eventually replaced by loving-kindness as romantic love dies out over time.:D
It is very hard to restraint passion. Even though it is restrained it cannot be stopped forever as it is not stopped at its roots. Perhaps the Dhammapada insinuate that we should eradicate passion at its roots not just restraining passion.
Although restraint is a nessessary first thing we should do before embarking on the journey to find the 'roots'.
Don't lamas sometimes get a consort? It's a female partner who they meditate with and exchange harmonious energies with. The vajra and the ghanta.
I had this opportunity once with a very beautiful female. We were into the same things (Buddhism) but we were young and life took us in different directions. However... I still miss that connection.
You can't disregard the nature of the universe - male and female - the dot and the void - and so on.
Aren't even our bodies hardwired for it? They say that sexual energies go up all the way to our brow chakras. We are like 90% sexual or something.
Then there is the crown however... can't forget about that.
I totally understand the concept of letting go and transcending the partner but it's so sad... when it can be SO beautiful.
People have beautiful experiences on meth. For them it is sad to have to give it up.
The cause of all these things can be explained by the theory of evolution. Of COURSE humans are hardwired for sexual desire. Males are basically a self-transporting, self-maintaining sperm-injector, and females are basically a self-transporting, self-maintaining baby maker/feeder. the human genepool as a whole is basically the result of the death of that which did not reproduce.
Now. There is this funny thing we call consciousness and soul and stuff. Wanna make the best of it? It is difficult.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOr1DiZ18a8
But my teacher is married. A senior buddhist Trungpa commented on their union "its about time you got together".
But really there's no beauty in meth? I've heard people have amazing wonderful experiences with it. And I've been using it in analogies for a long time (shit lol)!