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A personal SDA problem
Here's the reason I sought out this site after being in hiatus from Internet forums for the past couple of years. (First of all, "hello" to anyone reading this!)
I have been Buddhist for about 5 years now. It wasn't until 3 years ago that I became serious about my practice though. Over that time, my wife was exploring the same path with me but came ot the conclusion that it wasn't for her.
That was fine with me, I understood perfectly.
About 2 months ago, however, she went on a vacation to a Seventh day Adventist (SDA) retreat for healthy living/cooking and came back converted. Still, "no problem" I thought. I'm tolerant, I don't see a problem in achieving personal happiness/peace in a religion.
The problem is, that tolerance does not seem to be a virtue of that sect of Christianity. She's sitting there tearing herself to pieces over the fact that I'm going to burn in Hell and be doomed to vanishing off the face of the Earth when I die.
When I asked about marriage and other religions, they don't believe it is possible -- others will not understand them the same. Which seemed to reflect more on their intolerance than any others from what I could tell.
She isn't about to divorce me anytime soon, but I'm not sure how this can work. Her beliefs are completely foreign to mine. I might practice tolerance and compassion, but she can't accept it since I don't believe in God or Christ (I spent the first 20 years of life as a Christian as well).
I'm wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position with their spouse. Anyone?
I have been Buddhist for about 5 years now. It wasn't until 3 years ago that I became serious about my practice though. Over that time, my wife was exploring the same path with me but came ot the conclusion that it wasn't for her.
That was fine with me, I understood perfectly.
About 2 months ago, however, she went on a vacation to a Seventh day Adventist (SDA) retreat for healthy living/cooking and came back converted. Still, "no problem" I thought. I'm tolerant, I don't see a problem in achieving personal happiness/peace in a religion.
The problem is, that tolerance does not seem to be a virtue of that sect of Christianity. She's sitting there tearing herself to pieces over the fact that I'm going to burn in Hell and be doomed to vanishing off the face of the Earth when I die.
When I asked about marriage and other religions, they don't believe it is possible -- others will not understand them the same. Which seemed to reflect more on their intolerance than any others from what I could tell.
She isn't about to divorce me anytime soon, but I'm not sure how this can work. Her beliefs are completely foreign to mine. I might practice tolerance and compassion, but she can't accept it since I don't believe in God or Christ (I spent the first 20 years of life as a Christian as well).
I'm wondering if anyone else has been in a similar position with their spouse. Anyone?
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Comments
Yours does seem like an extreme example, and I'm very curious to see any responses you get here.
I was born Roman Catholic and know several. In my own experience, it seemed rather "loose" in its beliefs. I know "good Catholics" who curse, drink, and get into fights all the time and only go to church 3 or 4 times a year.
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<O:pI have several Jewish friends who meditate and basically practice the same things I do. Still, there's no real conflict of interests.
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This one with my wife though has me stumped. We still live compatible lifestyles and I'm willing to accept that. She occasionally does bring up the subject though and when I try explaining my beliefs she feels I'm belittling and marginalizing her in some way. I might as well be speaking in Martian basically.
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She's afraid I'm going to suffer in Hell and I'm saying if there is no Hell, how can I suffer? Even explaining the differences here is difficult since these two belief systems seem so foreign to one another.<O:p</O:p