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it just is
Ever since i've began my study of buddhism over and over I find this being taught, and it rings so true with me. It just is. Don't think of things in terms of what they are or are not. There just is, or is not depending on how you choose to look at it. Let it be, to quote a beatles song I really like. The answer is that there is no answer separate from anything else. Only if an answer were separate and therefore form would you be able to quantify it with words. So there simply is. Others help me to get there, and I can help others to get there,(of course you understand when I say me and others i'm simply speaking of the illusory concepts and division which have no true basis) but there's nothing I can utter which is what it is. It simply is, and all other than what there is is an illusion, because there is form or no-form, which is an illusion. There simply is.
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Also, I realize that everything feeds into samsara. "I" am a product of samsara, and as such anything which I do or say feeds into samsara.
The leaves fall gently
onto the brown earth
"
(got it?)
I do not
why still need analyzing?
so just accept?
yup.... right.
*bell sounds*
so simple and straight forward direct perceiving
But people try to grasp it with conceptual, logic, argue-mental, words, labels etc. and end up failing to grasp it. They end up calling it "deep".
the leaves fall in front of you.
It's just as it is.
Grasping the falling leaves by writing a thesis report about only make it intangible. Just see it... fall... as it is....
no words...
:-)
*bell sound*
*incense smoke arises*
when they see a leaf falls,
they see it as it is as it just is as how the eyes see
when human constantly think of words and ideas...
they see a leaf falls.
they perceive in their head "the leaf fall. the philosophy or idea is..... I think ....."
instead of just perceiving it.
Human is so used to language and words. it somehow cripple us a little.
the first sentence of tao te ching says the way that is put into words is not the actual way.....
with conceptual mind we perceive things with standard, like good/bad.
such as good or bad leaf.
but without conceptional bias.
a leaf is just as it is.
bad/good leaf comes when there's conceptual judgment.
There is a great story that Charlotte Joko Beck tells in her book "Nothing special". It goes something like this.... one of her students comes to her and says that she was meditating that morning when the sound of a bird came through the window ..."Suddenly there was no bird, no me, ....only this".
Joko Beck's response was "That's wonderful, but what if instead of the sound of a bird, it was the sound of someones voice finding fault with you?"
That's exactly what zen master do.
I recommend Zen Talk by Tsai zizhong (the name might be spelt wrongly)
It is non-grasping. It is a pause in your grasping. The habit energy of grasping, aversion, and self-view is very deep, so it is only a pause.
It would vary person to person though, right? I don't claim to know my karma for sure, but it's possible that I am able to pause more than others right? Not saying that's the case necessarily, I just mean hypothetically it's possible I think.
I'm so happy though with how I feel...like i've always tried to work on my faults, but I am so like pumped up to live the proper way and gain patience and happiness and serenity and wisdom. There is no greater happiness than the happiness of living life the proper way, especially with it's results.
Are you saying it's not going wrong now or it's going wrong again?? haha
Your ok. Just feel the way you feel. That is where the real peace is Journey. It isn't about feeling good or bad. It is just about allowing yourself to be whereever you are, however you feel. Breath. That is where the real practice is, it isn't about being in suchness and oneness. There are times like that. But the real practice is dealing with mental and emotional states that will arise. We deal with them by seeing them and having compassion for ourselves. "This is how I feel right now, this is how it is". Stay at home in your body and breath. Your ok.
Give yourself a break from trying.