Conditional love

ifsixwasnin9

I was just listening to Alan Watts (Still the Mind) and he said [paraphrasing] that "You are perfect the way you are" and "Love is unconditional". I was wondering if he ever said anything about Modern Society and how/why relationships ARE conditional. Or if Buddhism or Eastern Philosophy/Religion addresses this subject.
It's very confusing to live in a Society(s) which are made up of relationships with differing degrees of conditional love. I say that because I've always felt that familial relationships are somewhat less conditional than work relationships, etc. are. (ie. I know that my immediate and extended family will always accept me no matter what happens to me. I can't say that about my other relationships.) I'd like to know what Eastern Religion considers conditional love to be. Conditional love I guess is something that has been going on since the beginning of time but it is an odd thing to deal with and it leans towards being a very psychological process and not so much a spiritual one.

BonsaiDoug

I really have no answers for you. But your post brought this quote to mind:

When we come into contact with the other person, our thoughts and actions should
express our mind of compassion, even if that person says and does things that
are not easy to accept. We practice in this way until we see clearly that our love
is not contingent upon the other person being lovable.

- The Most Venerable Thích Nhất Hạnh

Nirvana

MACHINE TALKING wrote:

It's very confusing to live in a Society(s) which are made up of relationships with differing degrees of conditional love. I say that because I've always felt that familial relationships are somewhat less conditional than work relationships, etc. are. (ie. I know that my immediate and extended family will always accept me no matter what happens to me. I can't say that about my other relationships.) I'd like to know what Eastern Religion considers conditional love to be. Conditional love I guess is something that has been going on since the beginning of time but it is an odd thing to deal with and it leans towards being a very psychological process and not so much a spiritual one.

WHEW! Now I understand why run-on sentences are so frowned upon. They sound like a food-processer grinding up meat. My word, much better to churn butter, delicious, rich, sensual butter.

I'm quite sure that Watts is referring to real, disinterested love that loves the thing (or person) in itself only —and not for any Benefit that can come to the lover other than the knowledge that the beautiful Beloved truly exists (and thereby enriches the world and our lives).

True Love transports us away from our desire to possess or control. True love sets the Beloved free, for it is only in such freedom that the Beloved can truly really Be.

Namastate, dear Visitor! Sorry, I cannot say your username without feeling a bunch of pebbles in my mouth.

ifsixwasnin9

Or maybe I should say: how do you practice unconditional love when Western Culture is based on conditional love? You have to meet expectations in order to be accepted and "loved" in Western Culture. ("Love" is a wish-washy word in America and used out of context.)
I don't think my sentences are long. Just trying to get my meaning across properly. At work and school I was taught to write to express clearly.

Nirvana

What you call "conditional love" or "conditioned love" seems to me to be mere approval or something that satisfies the conditions of a particular taste.

True Love is receptive to all the Beloved is. In its truest and purest expressions it cannot desire to hide "unsightly" aspects of the Beloved, for accepting all as Beautiful, there is nothing truly unsightly. As Heracleitus said, "To God all things are bright and beautiful, but men call some things good and others bad."