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For several months now I've been experiencing so much joy in my life. Not the kind of joy that intoxicates and then is gone... but the kind that stays, detached and subdued.
The problem is that I am getting a lot of chatter in my head. They seem to be very negative beings who are constantly trying to "catch" me or take my happiness away.
Are these beings real?
When it's happening... (like right now) it feels very real. I don't even have to examine or descriminate the experience. It just happens in empty space. It happens.
Who are these bastard jelous gods who want to take away my happiness?
I rememeber seeing a painting of the six worlds. The jealous gods or the Azuras were constantly aiming arrows of flame at the Gods.
The cool thing is... that it's a little entertaining. As much as they try to mess with me they are always coming up short. They do provide a sense of joy in themselves because I am always defeating them with my "water of life".
I know this is something some people don't like to talk about... being it easier to believe that these experieces "don't happen" and are just a "manifestation of mind". But they do happen... and I don't really know how to hide my light anymore.