confidence?

gracelee

Hello everyone.

I suffer from social anxiety.
i am just wondering how meditation and buddhism could help build confidence?

thanks in advance

Grace

Cloud

OP: In practicing Vipassana meditation, or insight-meditation as it's commonly called, the insight you gain of how the mind works will give you confidence in the method, little by little. To find confidence in the teachings, you must study and contemplate, applying each concept to your own life to see the picture that it presents. Some things may agree with you, others not; the important thing is the Vipassana meditation which can illuminate the truth of things.

I used to have social anxiety also, but it's largely gone now (no longer arises) due to my effort to follow this practice and meditate. Hope this helps.

newtech

Hello:

1)cause of suffering = craving

2) there is a process of becoming anxious:

-unpleasant feeling arise, and i dont like that feeling (craving)
-thoughts arise, "i am now like this, i am becoming that, i wish that wasnt like this, again im feeling this", "this is my point of view about this, this is what i should do, this is what i have to do to avoid this,i wont do nothing, i would..", any action u take against that feeling, any action trying to change it, any formula, anything coming from your thoughts.
-becoming: when u take action trying to change reality, u become. "i am an anxious person.

3) its impersonal, and its always the same, when the conditions are rights, craving comes, when the conditions are right, thoughts come, when the conditions are right, becoming comes.

4)preventing the process, some points, if u want to get serious do all the eightfold path:

a) Metta meditation: u cant get social anxiety if u are loving and accepting people, or yourself. this is a "feeling" meditation.

b) Mindfulness of breathing: this is a understanding meditation (but of course its more)

c)Mindfulness: this is basically watching the doors form where anxiety manifests.
The buddha teach mindfulness of BODY,FEELINGS, MIND, AND MENTAL QUALITIES (in a short way).. what u do its UNDERSTAND what its happening. "i understand im standing up, i understand i am flexing my arms, i understand whatever". If u are established in mindfulness, that is, understanding all the time whats happening, without gaps, anxiety doenst come, or if it does, u understand "anxiety arising", and u are not even embedded in the experience of anxiety. If anxiety comes strong u will notice how the feeling drags you from just understanding to getting involved.

5)Letting go, working with the process:

U understand, there is anxiety arising, u understand now there are thoughts about it...saying "i understand there is anxiety really helps", if u just trust in your cognition its harder. Then u stop getting into thoughts. U dont try to push them, u just try not to be indulgent and caring about the content of the thoughts. U stop thinking about it, and then u can try relaxing...if you manage to stop thinking about it u are almost done, then u will notice some tension probably in the head that isnt to happy with u dont thinking in the subject, relax that, and change subject.

Good luck!

TheJourney

I would say metta meditation. Metta roughly translates loving-kindness, and it starts with loving yourself. If you have indiscrimatory love, starting with yourself, then how can you worry what others think?

Lostie

Quoted for keeps. A very layman way of putting it across. Thanks.

newtech wrote: »

Hello:

1)cause of suffering = craving

2) there is a process of becoming anxious:

-unpleasant feeling arise, and i dont like that feeling (craving)
-thoughts arise, "i am now like this, i am becoming that, i wish that wasnt like this, again im feeling this", "this is my point of view about this, this is what i should do, this is what i have to do to avoid this,i wont do nothing, i would..", any action u take against that feeling, any action trying to change it, any formula, anything coming from your thoughts.
-becoming: when u take action trying to change reality, u become. "i am an anxious person.

3) its impersonal, and its always the same, when the conditions are rights, craving comes, when the conditions are right, thoughts come, when the conditions are right, becoming comes.

4)preventing the process, some points, if u want to get serious do all the eightfold path:

a) Metta meditation: u cant get social anxiety if u are loving and accepting people, or yourself. this is a "feeling" meditation.

b) Mindfulness of breathing: this is a understanding meditation (but of course its more)

c)Mindfulness: this is basically watching the doors form where anxiety manifests.
The buddha teach mindfulness of BODY,FEELINGS, MIND, AND MENTAL QUALITIES (in a short way).. what u do its UNDERSTAND what its happening. "i understand im standing up, i understand i am flexing my arms, i understand whatever". If u are established in mindfulness, that is, understanding all the time whats happening, without gaps, anxiety doenst come, or if it does, u understand "anxiety arising", and u are not even embedded in the experience of anxiety. If anxiety comes strong u will notice how the feeling drags you from just understanding to getting involved.

5)Letting go, working with the process:

U understand, there is anxiety arising, u understand now there are thoughts about it...saying "i understand there is anxiety really helps", if u just trust in your cognition its harder. Then u stop getting into thoughts. U dont try to push them, u just try not to be indulgent and caring about the content of the thoughts. U stop thinking about it, and then u can try relaxing...if you manage to stop thinking about it u are almost done, then u will notice some tension probably in the head that isnt to happy with u dont thinking in the subject, relax that, and change subject.

Good luck!

TheJourney

Let me tell you a secret. It helps me, maybe it will help you. You're not separate from anyone else! I'm not saying you're one with them, but you're not separate from them either. If they look down on you or are rude to you, that is a sure fire sign of them being ignorant of their true nature. It's a pity really. Not because they said something that if you let it could cause you to feel bad, but because they are so deluded that they still think it's necessary to make others feel bad. This doesn't make you better than them, but it does make you less deluded and that can't be a bad thing right? If you're not separate from them, how can you care what they think?

gracelee

Thanks everyone, especially Newtech really kind of you to take the time to go into so much detail, i found you post really helpful xx