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Cursing or swearing...
Should one avoid cursing or swearing because it would not be a "right" speech? Any thoughts?
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What the fuck? (responding to a joke) = who really cares, it's not inherently bad.
What the fuck? (pejorative, out of anger/frustration) = avoid, this is destructive.
Hell yeah, goddamn it!
Funnyguy!
Of course one should be conscientious in his or her daily life, eager to build up good habits of right speech, right conduct, proper effort, keen mindfulness, and do everything to facilitate unhurried and unfragmented meditation! That is the Buddhist Dharma and it is not to be taken too lightly. Real earnestness of purpose needs to balance and guide our recreational and emotive needs and their expression, if we are to progress along the way.
Those on the spiritual path are not here in order to entertain others with their cleverness, shows of boldness, or displays of heedlessness. Neither are they to act or speak in ways that may result in the implantation of bad habits in themselves or others. The tongue is a small member of the body, but it can be our biggest liability.
But don't beat yourself up if bad words come out of your mouth. Most of us are exposed to these and... it happens. For myself, I manage (mostly) to keep it under or at my breath when IT Happens.
HOWEVERmuch self-control may be undervalued by some, it is of utmost importance for those on the path to discovery.
8:9 - But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.
8:13 - Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble.
If you tell a friend go to fuck themselves in a friendly manor with a bit of jest, I can hardly see how that is a bad thing.
If you tell a guy you just met at a restaurant to go fuck themselves and grab a knife from the table...well, you get the idea.
This is primarily used amongst bogans (whitetrash) but these days you hear school kids and everyone say it.
I agree that swearing is probably something to avoid, as it may be harmful to people who are present
That's a good way of putting it.
Though 'spanking' has it's own connotations.....:D
It's wisest to avoid any such speech, imho. But of course, as always, obsessing over this is probably not very wise either.
I've long drawn a distinction between cursing and cursing at someone. If someone is offended by a word, I cannot help that. It's when the word becomes epithet or invective that it is hurtful.
Why?
Should?
I?
Not?
Care?
Of course, I have the RIGHT to use the offensive word, but rights need to be balanced with responsibilities.
In other words, although I have the right to speak my mind freely, I nonetheless have the responsibility that what I speak is grounded in some context of reality or field of being. In other words, I have the right to speak the Truth from my heart, but my heart must not be in disconnect with my neighbor. I simply cannot dismiss my neighbor from all consideration, simply because I do not agree with him. Whether he wishes me good or ill, I cannot honestly assert his total irrelevance to my life. That is because he is capable either of hurting me or helping me in times of my need.
________________________
But, moving on beyond this only in the event that somebody (only for the sake of argument) might choose to stretch my point beyond that point I intend, I now digress a bit from what the OP asks. If in the odd event anyone should respond to this strain of thought, I hope it will not be in this thread.
What I am talking about above is the need for an earnest desire for pure words which the Lord Buddha highlighted in the noble eightfold path. Period. Full Stop.
Please do not understand me to mean that controversial issues like homosexuality, gay marriage, abortion, the sins of warmongering, etc. should be abridged or compromised lest someone's way of looking at these issues be challenged and therefore the infallibility of their religious beliefs be impugned. No, there's no harm in tackling people's prejudices against things that either don't affect them or that they out of fear deny. So long as the intent to alleviate injustices propels one's actions, the speech is pure —even if the "other side" deem the coining of the words of these subject impure.
I say this only because some people have so many scruples that someone even mentioning the word "lesbian" is enough to make them cry. In that event I concur with Lincoln when he says:
If someone finds a word, despite its context, offensive, then fuck them (lol, see what I did there!?). They are creating the problem, not the person speaking the words. If someone uses a word someone else finds offensive simply because they find it offensive, then they are a douche, and will suffer the karmic consequences (man, I'm all for alliteration tonight!). However, if the reason they do it is to shed light on how the person is creating their own problems, then obviously, the consequences are different.
All in all, the only bad words are the ones we create, which is mostly why I like the korean system of not actually having bad words.
In other words, don't call your boss a fucktard unless you are at a bar with them and on good terms.
I do suggest one tries to control himself.
We can only try...
That is what I am doing.
haha no actually from Hawthorn - quite the opposite one would think
I also use "fuck" in many other situations, but almost always for humor or somesuch. For example my friends will play a prank or if we're just generally messing around I'll go "well fuck you too!" and its followed by a round of laughs.
I've never used it in an offensive context that I know of, but who knows.
They are only words - and a person can do much more damage to any one of us by stating something hurtful to us that doesn't include a single swear word.
But, sometimes, a swear word makes a point better than any other word you could think of.
Using them all the time makes you sound like a simpleton.
There is usually a time and a place for everything.
A word is just a word - the time and the place are what allows them to hurt or hinder.
At least that's the steaming pile of sh!+ I'm laying down on ya right now
-bf
We can't be made responsible for the 10 different interpretations our message will have for each of the 10 members of our audience.
Excellent point. That's something I also brought up in a similar discussion we had about bad language a while back after receiving this email from a socialist discussion list that I belong to:
While the context is slightly different, I think it sums up my position quite well.
In this case, it's illustrating how the common language of the people (including things such as profanity and slang) was historically looked down upon by the ruling class as being inappropriate.
From one point of view, you could say that the ruling class was behaving appropriately and teaching the common person by example how to behave. But from another, you could say that imposing aristocratic manners upon the common person was simply another form of oppression, and judging the common person by their use of vulgar or common language was simply another form of class discrimination. The same can easily be applied to people who use the idea of right speech in a similar way.
I don't want people to get me wrong, though. I understand the importance of right speech, and that includes taking other people's feelings into consideration; but I also realize that words are just words. As Chandrakirti allegedly said in one of his works, "Words are not policemen on the prowl. We are not subject to their independent authority. They take their meaning from the intention of the person speaking." In other words, it's not just the words being used that matter, it's also the intentions behind them.
For example, I grew up in a family/area where swearing was the norm, but that's not the reason I use profanity. I can be as proper and as articulate as the next person, but I chose to use profanity for two main reason: (1) the use of profanity helps to stress certain points, emotions, etc. and (2) I find the taboo against using certain words ridiculous (unless, of course, the word itself has become so offensive that its use automatically attacks or insults a group or individual directly).
I understand that others feel differently, and that's why I don't use profanity all the time, but I think that people should be free to express themselves as they see fit. I'm a strong proponent of free speech, and not only do I completely agree with Lincoln regarding site policy that no one should "curse at other people, attack people, or generally be jerks," I'm quite liberal when it comes to the general use of profanity as well.