Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Confused about desire
I went to a museum training tonight where I volunteer. There are two trains I can get home, an hour and a half apart. I should have been able to make the first train easily if my boss didn't delay me, if the bus came on time and if there were no delays on the T. All of which happened. I barely made the first train by running for it.
My question is, is the desire to get home earlier rather than later a bad thing? Or is it the things that can surround such a desire? Like getting agitated with my boss and the other delays. Is the desire to get home early okay if I can be content to wait if I miss the early train?
My question is, is the desire to get home earlier rather than later a bad thing? Or is it the things that can surround such a desire? Like getting agitated with my boss and the other delays. Is the desire to get home early okay if I can be content to wait if I miss the early train?
0
Comments
http://www.abhayagiri.org/main/article/215/
With metta,
Todd
Of course if you do miss the train and feel frustrated, that reaction is something you may want to work on however you think best. Development of equanimity rather than negative feelings/thoughts, or something.
He refuses to accelerate for anything because ultimately, hurrying is futile.
I ran for a train once.....
There were in fact, two trains. One (The 'fast' train) on platform 3, stopping at only two stops, before my destination. Journey time 15 minutes.
The other on platform 5 (The slower. 'stopping' train) completing its journey but calling at every station between this one and mine. Journey time, 35 minutes.
I ran for the fast train, scheduled to leave in less than a minute, and threw myself into the nearest carriage, walking down through the train until I found a seat.
Phew! made it.
But the train remained still.
Out of the window, I saw the 'stopping' train pull out of the station.
our train (the 'fast' one) had been delayed by a technical fault affecting the guard's signal, telling the driver it was safe to move off.
The train was delayed by 17 minutes. (it caused near havoc to other services, too...)
Had I caught the stopping train, I would have made my journey in a faster time.
I had to laugh.... because to cap it all, I really had no reason or cause to hurry.... I just wanted to get home earlier. no particular point...
When I was a little girl, I was out with my aunt, shopping.
She kept hurrying me along.
At one point, I asked her,
"Why are we hurrying?"
"Because I need to get home!"
"What for?"
pause....
"Well, I just don't want to spend all day shopping!"
"Why not? can we stop for an ice cream?"
She stopped and looked at me.
"You know what? yes, we can!"
So we stopped at a local bar. I had a drink and an ice cream, she had a coffee and a brioche.
"I like this, it's nice!" I declared. "I don't like hurrying!"
"You're quite right, neither do I, come to think of it!" she replied.
Many years later, she confided in me that this had been an extraordinary "lightbulb" moment for her. To see the pointlessness of 'hurrying for no reason' through the eyes of a child.
I see it all the time. Mums harassing and jostling their children along, to hurry - but really, mostly for no reason other than they want to be somewhere else, and soon.
But if people were to ask themselves what the hurry is, they can't put their finger on it.
W. H. Davies
It makes you suffer when you DON'T or are unable to. Thats how desire works. We can't always win and never lose because that just aint how life is.
Agreed!
Absolutely! You wanted to get home early, for various reasons. This time, you got what you wanted. But if you would have missed that first train, would you have stood around waiting for the second train, angry at the world for getting in the way of your desire? Would you have looked at your watch every few minutes and bitched to yourself about all the time you're wasting? Then you've caused yourself suffering by clinging to desires.
But if you watched the train pull away while huffing, having missed it in spite of your sprinting, shrugged your shoulders, and went to catch the next one, knowing getting home early just wasn't meant to be, then you're not clinging to your desires.
I know what you mean about checking my watch every 2 minutes. I used to do that on the T on the way to the train. Last night I told myself checking my watch wouldn't get me there any faster so I didn't do it. During the delay on the T, I closed my eyes and tried to breath in a meditative fashion so I wouldn't feel frustrated.
Oops, I just caught myself feeling proud of myself. Gotta watch that pride. I already know how it can lead to crashes.
I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting to return home and avoid the trouble of waiting etc. But, I also think that when situations arise that force us to deal with undesirable circumstances that we should be able to deal with them.
Practice is what gives us the skills and experience needed to be flexible and prepared for unwanted situations.
To me, though, this is not a question of whether to hurry or not to hurry, but essentially one of the underpinning assumptions of the OP.
Where does the Buddha ever teach that Desire in and of itself is a thing to be stymied?
Desires are what propel us forward and aversions are what help keep us back, away from things we sense may do us harm. Buddha's point (and indeed all of the Eastern Wisdom tradition masters) was that we should not be slaves to our likes and dislikes, by identifying ourselves as victims or whimsical seekers of creature comforts.
We have things we like and things we do not like. That's OK, though, so long as we do not identify ourselves with these. What we need is peace and open minds and hearts that can only remain open by our not clinging.
I see desire as an organic, magnetic-like force that pervades the universe. The trick is not to get too close to the red-hot coals of that magnet and be burnt, nor too far away from its ends as to die of apathy. I see desire as a good thing, especially if it is a sincere (and holy) desire for the good of all.
In the context of this thread, desiring to get someplace ahead of time or early just smacks to me of an eagerness or even earnestness. These two related qualities have great value in the spiritual life. I therefore see no reason why such things as the desire not to waste time in public spaces should make us second-guess whether we are pure enough to succeed on our chosen paths...