Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Being too serious
So there is a little motto that I live by. I find that the simplest mottos are the best ones. Mine is just 4 words... Be good & have fun.
My interest in Buddhism is in pursuit of the first two words, and I interpret it as being good first and foremost to yourself, as well as to others and your environment.
But I also think it is important to keep a light heart, to smile, to laugh, to joke and to enjoy the small things in life, and thats where having fun comes in. Sometimes I find myself taking life too seriously. When I go out with my friends and see how they behave. When I see people throwing caution to the wind and being absolutely ridiculous, having a crazy and wild time...sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm taking life too seriously. Sometimes I find myself focusing too much on Buddhism and on myself...like I will be out in public, and rather than enjoying myself I will be withdrawn and trying to "carefully observe my behavior."
Is there anything wrong with letting loose and having a good time once in a while, or is there some way to find a balance...I want to be able to spontaneously enjoy life in the moment, all the time. But frequently i'm left with a battle in my own head that prevents that.
Edit: Let me rephrase that last sentence, as I don't actually percieve this as a battle. Its more like, frequently I spend too much time trying to observe my own thoughts and actions, rather than simply acting spontaneously, which I feel is necessary for experiencing joy.
My interest in Buddhism is in pursuit of the first two words, and I interpret it as being good first and foremost to yourself, as well as to others and your environment.
But I also think it is important to keep a light heart, to smile, to laugh, to joke and to enjoy the small things in life, and thats where having fun comes in. Sometimes I find myself taking life too seriously. When I go out with my friends and see how they behave. When I see people throwing caution to the wind and being absolutely ridiculous, having a crazy and wild time...sometimes it makes me wonder if I'm taking life too seriously. Sometimes I find myself focusing too much on Buddhism and on myself...like I will be out in public, and rather than enjoying myself I will be withdrawn and trying to "carefully observe my behavior."
Is there anything wrong with letting loose and having a good time once in a while, or is there some way to find a balance...I want to be able to spontaneously enjoy life in the moment, all the time. But frequently i'm left with a battle in my own head that prevents that.
Edit: Let me rephrase that last sentence, as I don't actually percieve this as a battle. Its more like, frequently I spend too much time trying to observe my own thoughts and actions, rather than simply acting spontaneously, which I feel is necessary for experiencing joy.
0
Comments
On the other hand, one should let the blood in ones veins flow freely and not try to hold back against harmless impulses. As TheJourney said above, even the monastics do it! Even opening ourselves up to things that might lead us down some slippery slope is good. YOU have to trust yourself! (And it's not the end of the world if you make a few bad decisions if you act responsibly.) We are made for joy and bringing joy to each other. Going about wearing a straightjacket, as it were, will only serve to diminish our capacity to give and receive joy.
Carefully observing one’s behavior with friends and family (people who know you) is not important. It would be like visiting a monastery and sitting with your spine perfectly erect all the time –even at mealtime. Any good monk would gently and in a friendly way tell you to relax.
If everything is of the same "nature", then nothing unnatural can exist. We are a reflection of the Dharma; follow your heart in all things.
That's why I love Buddhism. It never fails to amaze me.
When you see people throwing caution to the wind and having ridiculous and crazy time ... you don't see the underlying near-hysterical attempt to run from pain? I thought it was as obvious as the noses on their faces. Especially when you compare it to the way that monks and nuns from childhood have a good time ... the simple joyful abandonment to the delight of being alive. No, there's no caution thrown away, no wild craziness ... it's a different thing altogether.
Be careful ... if you decide that some things are fun and other things are not fun ... this is the dualistic thinking that the Buddha told us is the cause of our suffering.
I've given it more thought and what I've realized is that when I see people going crazy and having a wild time, what bothers me isn't that I'm not doing the same thing, what bothers me is my own opinion of myself and how I believe others regard me.
For example...I have a friend how is very good at skiing, he's been doing it since he was three. Now he hikes into the mountains and ski's down dangerous slopes on his own, risking life and limb, but having an amazing experience in the process. My problem comes not from wanting to repeat his skiing prowess, but from the comparison I make between myself and him. That I am untalented and boring compared to him, that I want others to view me as fun, wild and interesting...and instead I work in a cubicle and usually come home and read a book.
Really it is this comparison that makes me feel the way I do.
If I can let go of that, I'm sure I'll be closer to where I want to be.
I agree it's not good to take things too seriously, if you can't laugh at yourself or things that seem odd then you're setting yourself up for a stomach ulcer. On the other hand, those people you see having a "crazy and wild time" are doing so at the expense of their self-control and mindfulness. It's in mental states like that when people make stupid decisions and do things which, at the time may seem fun, but that they later regret.
This is a really weirdly paradoxical issue for a Buddhist forum - but I have it too! In essence, we are actually inherently more peaceful (or calm, or whatever word that conveys that sense without sounding superior) and we feel guilty or bad for not being wilder!
I read all these Buddhist texts and most of the virtues are easy for me because I don't have an extraverted, thrill seeking, dopamine-infused personality (again, this isn't to say "I'm more moral" than anyone else. just that I have fewer temptations inherently).
Most of my own suffering has been around what a quiet, introverted, solitary type personality means - I've tried to rebel against my wiring and it led to so much stupidity!
Technically that's five words, the "&" being a substitute for "and". I hope this revelation doesn't ruin your motto!:p
Me too!:) Sadly all religious seem to focus on the negative view of their doctrine rather than the positive, Buddhism is no exception.
The opposite of Dukka has a word in Buddhism but it is seldom used.
Sukka - joy, happiness, peace and I always think fun should belong in that composite.
We all do, and we shouldnt. taking like or oneself or ones issues too seriously is for the vast majority of issues ego based, pointless, counterproductive and negitavising. of course, there are exceptions, like illness and injustice.
If it is on the path i would say not.
namaste and have fun!
Ahh you guys are being nitpickers!! No thats not 5 words. The FOUR words are "Be good" and "Have fun" the "and" isn't a part of the 4 words you GOOF BALLS.
Haha.
Yea I know what you mean by the ego, and I think it is one of those traps where people get so caught up in their self and improving their perceived self, that that is when all the serious comes in. People jump into Buddhism as a way to ease their suffering, and then end up focusing on nothing but their suffering. Or putting endless amounts of effort into improving their self. I fall into this trap frequently myself.
But today I'm in a great mood. Why suffer, when you can smile!
What is important is not the thickness of the paper but the size of the text. *looks deeply* Actually. I was trying to think of a name and glanced a packet of paper by by printer, but keep that between us, please;)
Sure, but also the very illusion of ego brings with it extra seriousesses. me and Me, me and them, them and they... none of that is important. And yet striving to remove the illusion of ego is a serious business!:)
I often wonder if once enlighted the buddha had good and bad moods. either way, enjoy your days!
namaste
Salted On!:)