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Finding a Vihara when you can't drive

edited December 2010 in Sanghas
I cannot drive, and I want to find a vihara near me that I can go to regularly, but I cannot seem to find any.

I am really shy and I am afraid of talking at random to strangers on normal terms. I do not know what to expect, but I really want to be an active part of the Sangha and I want to find a teacher I can trust.

Is there a way I can talk to a Bhikku or a Bhikkuni online maybe?

I have a feeling that even if I were to find an address for a Bhikku or Bhikkuni I wouldn't know what to say, what to ask. I'm conflicted. Can someone explain to me what is a good thing to do about this?

Comments

  • edited November 2010
    The best thing to do is to find out which centres are nearest to you and then phone or e-mail them for more details. Sometimes it is possible to get advice by e-mail.

    It also might be possible for them to arrange for you to get a lift from someone else nearby who attends their talks.


    .
  • edited November 2010
    TFPW, I'm in very much the same boat as you. I've found this great resource, the World Buddhist Directory:

    http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/index.php
  • edited November 2010
    Artemis wrote: »
    TFPW, I'm in very much the same boat as you. I've found this great resource, the World Buddhist Directory:

    http://www.buddhanet.info/wbd/index.php

    I used that but found that the nearest Vihara is a long ways away! because I cannot drive, it's an hour away.
  • edited November 2010
    I used that but found that the nearest Vihara is a long ways away! because I cannot drive, it's an hour away.

    Don't you have a public transport system where you live? I don't have a car here in the UK and it takes at least 2 hours by foot and public transport to get to the centres I attend myself.


    .
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited November 2010
    You do belong to a sangha.
    We are a sangha of sorts.

    But I would also recommend that you perhaps visit this fellow Buddhist website:
    Many here, frequent that one, and vice-versa...


    it's called 'Dhammawheel' and has many Bikkhus and Bikkhunis who I am sure would be very pleased to help and support you.
  • edited November 2010
    I recommend your local Fo Guang Shan temple in America, don't know if any of the location is near you...
    I am sure they can do similar car pool arrangements, you should probably talke to one of the venerables there first.
  • edited November 2010
    I live in Maryland :(
  • edited November 2010
    Just one more thing, Fo Guang Shan Organisation actually put sex equality into action. They have more female venerables and Abbesses than any other organisation. Do Tibetan or Theravada sects actually allow women to be in high positions?

    Women can become enlightened.
  • edited November 2010
    Ch'an_noob wrote: »
    Do Tibetan or Theravada sects actually allow women to be in high positions?

    Position isn't anything more than a label smacked on a person to make them feel accomplished. But to answer your question, yes, they do. There's no higher position than to be free from Samsara.
    Women can become enlightened.

    I am a woman, and I don't doubt that. :D
  • edited November 2010
    Do Tibetan or Theravada sects actually allow women to be in high positions?



    In Tibetan Buddhism, like men, women can become Lamas. In fact the nun in charge of the UK London centre - Lama Zangmo - was officially made a lama after completing 12 years in closed retreat.


    .
  • HanzzeHanzze Veteran
    edited November 2010
    I used that but found that the nearest Vihara is a long ways away! because I cannot drive, it's an hour away.
    Just walk! Walking is good, Buddha walked, real monks are just walking. To walk means to live :-)
  • edited November 2010
    Hanzze wrote: »
    Just walk! Walking is good, Buddha walked, real monks are just walking. To walk means to live :-)

    (O_o) The nearest Vihara an hour away taking a bus to a certain point and it doesn't get me all the way there, and if I were to walk from that point it'd be 3 and a half hours to get to a Vihara. That's unreasonable. :crazy:
  • HanzzeHanzze Veteran
    edited November 2010
    (O_o) The nearest Vihara an hour away taking a bus to a certain point and it doesn't get me all the way there, and if I were to walk from that point it'd be 3 and a half hours to get to a Vihara. That's unreasonable. :crazy:
    Next life is also ok ;-)
  • edited November 2010
    Hanzze wrote: »
    Next life is also ok ;-)

    Not waiting for the next life either.

    That's worse than 3 hours.
  • HanzzeHanzze Veteran
    edited November 2010
    :-) quite shorter isn't it
  • edited November 2010
    Hanzze wrote: »
    :-) quite shorter isn't it

    Hehehehhehe! Yes, indeed. :lol: Not quite the advice I had in mind, but it cheered me up quite a bit!
  • HanzzeHanzze Veteran
    edited November 2010
    Just do it is very dharmic! Bike? ;-)
  • edited November 2010
    Hanzze wrote: »
    Just do it is very dharmic! Bike? ;-)

    Don't have one. :confused:
  • HanzzeHanzze Veteran
    edited November 2010
    Don't have one. :confused:
    Uhhh bad kharma, I guess it will be next life :p
  • zider_redzider_red Explorer
    edited November 2010
    could you gat in touch with a not too distant sangha and see if they would be willing to set up a satellite group nearer to where you live; especially if you offer to help with the preparation needed to set one up - scout for a building/room to hire etc :)
  • edited November 2010
    zider_red wrote: »
    could you gat in touch with a not too distant sangha and see if they would be willing to set up a satellite group nearer to where you live; especially if you offer to help with the preparation needed to set one up - scout for a building/room to hire etc :)

    That might work, or maybe I can try and see if anyone might carpool and I can hitch a ride...:)
  • edited November 2010
    Hanzze wrote: »
    Uhhh bad kharma, I guess it will be next life :p

    NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! :eekblue:
  • HanzzeHanzze Veteran
    edited November 2010
    That might work, or maybe I can try and see if anyone might carpool and I can hitch a ride...:)
    Beware that you are not killing or be involved in killing or accept killing from the beginning of your practice. ;-)

    Dont take me to serious, even I seem to be right ;-) Just do it!
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited November 2010
    I am in a sagha by phone and email. Its the best I can do. The teacher I really respond to.
  • edited November 2010
    If you are in the DC area, I would think that carpooling to the vihara an hour away is a very good option. If that vihara is the closest one, there are bound to be other people in the same boat with vehicles that would be only too happy to split the gas cost with you. I would call them to see whether they have anything set up to help with carpooling.

    The monastery I have been going to for the last 20 years is a 3 hour highway drive away. Our sangha was always sharing rides. Almost all centers will understand you being shy and wanting to just come in and test the waters without being accosted. No matter which group, I have found buddhists to be a friendly and congenial lot.

    I would suggest learning to drive if it is at all possible. I didn't learn until I was in my mid-thirties. It opened a lot of doors for me. Even if you can't afford your own car, it allows you to rent a car to go to special events. This doesn't help you right away, but if you get a learner's permit now then before you know it you will be able to get around on your own. Another option for the non-winter months is a scooter, as long as you don't need to do highway driving. Vespas and Honda scooters are not terribly expensive and cost almost nothing in gas.
  • edited November 2010
    karmadorje wrote: »
    If you are in the DC area, I would think that carpooling to the vihara an hour away is a very good option. If that vihara is the closest one, there are bound to be other people in the same boat with vehicles that would be only too happy to split the gas cost with you. I would call them to see whether they have anything set up to help with carpooling.

    Sounds right, I think I know which one you're talking about too. :)

    The monastery I have been going to for the last 20 years is a 3 hour highway drive away. Our sangha was always sharing rides. Almost all centers will understand you being shy and wanting to just come in and test the waters without being accosted. No matter which group, I have found buddhists to be a friendly and congenial lot.

    VERY friendly and congenial. I just don't need to find myself getting lost again.
    I would suggest learning to drive if it is at all possible. I didn't learn until I was in my mid-thirties. It opened a lot of doors for me. Even if you can't afford your own car, it allows you to rent a car to go to special events. This doesn't help you right away, but if you get a learner's permit now then before you know it you will be able to get around on your own. Another option for the non-winter months is a scooter, as long as you don't need to do highway driving. Vespas and Honda scooters are not terribly expensive and cost almost nothing in gas.

    I've actually thought about the scooter, but not about the car driving. It's something I definitely don't want to do, because I have had quite a bit of issues with driving.
  • edited November 2010
    Sounds right, I think I know which one you're talking about too. :)

    I have actually no idea about Theravadin centers even in my own town, let alone DC. I am just saying that all dharma centers have the same issues with accessibility, so the one you are mentioning that is an hour away is bound to be open to a polite request for a carpool. :-)

    While you have not asked about them, the only Tibetan Buddhist center in the DC area I can recommend without reservations is the Sakya center:

    Sakya Phuntsok Ling
    354 Prelude Drive
    Silver Spring, MD 20901
    (301) 592-9286

    It is under the direction of Khenpo Kalsang Gyaltsen. While I have not received teachings from him, he translated during some teachings I received from Her Eminence Jetsun Kusho Luding. He is very warm and approachable. He doesn't pretend to be anything special or make claims to have important visions or require deference because of someone he is alleged to be in a past life. He has on the contrary devoted his life to scholarship and practice, producing an excellent translation and commentary on Shantideva's Bodhicharyavatara.
  • edited December 2010
    Dazzle wrote: »
    In Tibetan Buddhism, like men, women can become Lamas. In fact the nun in charge of the UK London centre - Lama Zangmo - was officially made a lama after completing 12 years in closed retreat.


    .
    Mahayana!
  • edited December 2010
    Wasting your time.
  • edited December 2010
    Wasting your time.

    That's an enigmatic response. You have claimed in other threads that you were open-minded and just looking for clarity. If that isn't the case, please do let us know so I don't waste my time on discussions that are not in good faith.

    All the best!
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited December 2010
    I think she would prefer a Therevadan place but she heard your advice about enquiry. At least I know she is a curious mind from past experience. I think.

    Respectfully to you both,

    Jeffrey
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