A barrier.

integral

I have meditated every day, once in the moring, and once before bed for a relativly short time now. I enjoy meditation thus far because it helps me be aware of myself. After a long meditation I can seperate myself as I walk through a crowed of people, I feel as if I am not walking but I am observing things as a third person outside of myself. I want to become better at meditation, but I have reached what I believe is a significant barrier.

During meditation I attempt to let go completely and simply focus on my breath. Total and absolute relaxation. At some point, I get to a state where I am deeply focused, and anything I felt before fades away into relaxation (It is actually hard to explain). My problem is, I am aware of this. Because I am aware that I have fallen into this state, I begin to think about it. Then, more thoughts rush in and I forget about my breath, falling the state. I know that the purpose of meditation is not to let go of all thoughts, but I can not help but to feel as if the purpose of meditation is to attempt to be aware of thoughts, and to be able to control them (I.e. completely quiet the thoughts while being aware of there existance).

May I have your thoughts on this problem?

Cristina

I have a question--when you say you walk through crowds and feel outside yourself, watching the situation....I experience this too, and I call it disassociation. I don't like it and I am under the impression that it's not good. That we want to say present and in our bodies at all times...if you or anyone else has thoughts on this I'd be interested on hearing them.

As for your "problem," it is no problem. Think of it as a stepping stone to reach an even deeper state. When you realize you're doing this, just be like, "oh there I go again," and let go. Generally speaking, I think the advice for any "problem" in meditation is to just say, "relax, it's really no problem at all..." Think about it. (Or not!)

Cloud

The point is that when you realize you are no longer focusing on the breath... you pull your mind back to focusing on the breath. It's "training" the mind to stay focused, just like you train a puppy to pee on the newspaper and not the carpet. It's actually beneficial to lose focus, because each time you become aware and drag your mind back, this is actual work being done by the mind.

(FYI meditation has nothing to do with being able to control thoughts. Just be aware of them and remain focused. Thoughts are not "you", they will arise on their own and some days you'll be swamped with thoughts that will not stop!)

Don't give up, this is exactly the way it's meant to be.

nlighten

What type of meditation are you practicing? what is your process and intentions and expectations of your practice?

here is something I found that may help you.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/ariyadhamma/bl115.html

"When the meditator sits down for meditation, he fixes his attention at the tip of his nose and consciously attends to the sequence of in-and-out breathing. He notes the breath as it enters, and notes the breath as it leaves, touching against the tip of the nose or the upper lip. At this time he begins to count these movements.


There are a few methods of counting. The easiest is explained thus: The first breath felt is counted as "one, one"; the second as "two, two"; the third as "three, three"; the fourth as "four, four"; the fifth as "five, five" and so on up to the tenth breath which is counted as "ten, ten." Then he returns to "one, one" and continues again up to "ten, ten." This is repeated over and over from one to ten.


The mere counting is not itself meditation, but the counting has become an essential aid to meditation. A person who has not practiced meditation before, finding it difficult to understand the nature of his mind, may think he is meditating while his mind runs helter skelter. Counting is an easy method to control the wandering mind."

integral

"What type of meditation are you practicing?"

I never really read that much about the different types of meditation. I simply just started doing it.


"what is your process and intentions and expectations of your practice?"
I have no intentions or expectations.



"I experience this too, and I call it disassociation. I don't like it and I am under the impression that it's not good. That we want to say present and in our bodies at all times...if you or anyone else has thoughts on this I'd be interested on hearing them."

I was under the impression that it was a good thing.
Although, disassociation is an involuntary disorder which is not what I am saying. I am saying it is completely volentary.




Thank you all for your answers.

SeaOfTranquility

I too meditate daily and have had similar experiences. I would describe it as relaxing into bliss. It is a most enjoyable experience. But it does not last long. For me anyway. I think the reason is that I want to grab onto the feeling, conceptualize it, and make it mine. Like other thoughts that arise, I should just let it go and allow it to be. More practice is called for.

While these experiences are pleasant when they do come along, it is not the reason I meditate. Awareness, insight and a calm peaceful mind is my purpose.

Jeffrey

Meditation should be awareness. Your naturally right. The breath is only 1 advantageous object of meditation. In my practice it is a stabilizer that brings you back to openness to whatever arises.

hugist

In meditation, you can focus on your breath. Your breath exists, we can prove this scientifically. You can focus on the tip of your nose. Your nose exists, we can prove this scientifically.

So you must focus on the one thing that is impossible and should not exist, but does. Create a closed loop. This violates the Laws of Reality.

Dazzle

When you notice that your attention has wandered, just bring it gently back with the breath again.

This is a good Buddhist meditation video series with a respected teacher .
The first is an introduction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd7a9Ur2x0o


with kind wishes,

Dazzle

twilly

Cloud, I'm finding that some days are better than others as far as meditation goes. Thanks for confirming for me that some days I'll be swamped with thoughts. It's reassuring to know that's normal and not some failing on my part.

compassionate_warrior

I have a question--when you say you walk through crowds and feel outside yourself, watching the situation....I experience this too, and I call it disassociation. I don't like it and I am under the impression that it's not good. That we want to say present and in our bodies at all times...if you or anyone else has thoughts on this I'd be interested on hearing them.)

Cristina, I've read that meditation can lead to dissociative episodes in some prone individuals. The teacher is supposed to be skilled enough to be able to evaluate the students and decide which ones are good for meditation, and which are not suitable, but so many people take meditation up on their own, that it's impossible to monitor every case.

Avuso

Accept the thought and focus on your breath again, and again, and again, and.....