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Tonglen practice
Brian
Detroit, MI Moderator
I have recently read one of Pema Chödrön's talks about the practice of Tonglen. I think this is a Tibetan practice, but I'm not sure.
Basically Tonglen is the act of attempting to take other people's suffering in, and exuding peace and positive energy to them. Lately I've been so down that I realized last night how self defeating it is. I thought that I really don't have it very bad at all and there are so many others out there who have it much worse than I do. I'm not sure if I'm practicing correctly (probably not) but here's what I've done:
First I took about 30 minutes to sit down and think of all the people in my recent timeframe and immediate circle that are really suffering. I wrote the names down.
Next, I went into my bedroom, sat on my bed with the list, and started from the top. I devoted almost an hour to thinking about the first person on the list. I thought about all of their struggles, starting from childhood, their lonliness, anger, depression, fear, their feelings of alienation and loss. I took it all in. I breathed it in. I put myself in their shoes. I tried to relive their life. Then, as each "negative" thing came up, I took it in, and wrapped it with my feelings of compassion for this person, my feelings of peace and well wishes. I then tried to imagine this person happier, successful, and able to overcome the things that are holding them back.
I did the same for the next person. I didn't know this person too well, so I went with what I had. I tried to think of their goals in life, and the struggles they have had to get where they are.
I was only able to do three people (out of about 20-30 on the list) last night. But I intend on doing this every night until the list is done. It is very therapeutic. I found a great deal of peace through this practice.
One of the people on the list is one that some would consider my worst enemy. By all rights, I should hate this person. However, I found it extremely beneficial to love this person and to understand their position in life and to find compassion and sympathy for them.
Anybody else ever perform Tonglen, or even hear of it? Am I way off base?
Basically Tonglen is the act of attempting to take other people's suffering in, and exuding peace and positive energy to them. Lately I've been so down that I realized last night how self defeating it is. I thought that I really don't have it very bad at all and there are so many others out there who have it much worse than I do. I'm not sure if I'm practicing correctly (probably not) but here's what I've done:
First I took about 30 minutes to sit down and think of all the people in my recent timeframe and immediate circle that are really suffering. I wrote the names down.
Next, I went into my bedroom, sat on my bed with the list, and started from the top. I devoted almost an hour to thinking about the first person on the list. I thought about all of their struggles, starting from childhood, their lonliness, anger, depression, fear, their feelings of alienation and loss. I took it all in. I breathed it in. I put myself in their shoes. I tried to relive their life. Then, as each "negative" thing came up, I took it in, and wrapped it with my feelings of compassion for this person, my feelings of peace and well wishes. I then tried to imagine this person happier, successful, and able to overcome the things that are holding them back.
I did the same for the next person. I didn't know this person too well, so I went with what I had. I tried to think of their goals in life, and the struggles they have had to get where they are.
I was only able to do three people (out of about 20-30 on the list) last night. But I intend on doing this every night until the list is done. It is very therapeutic. I found a great deal of peace through this practice.
One of the people on the list is one that some would consider my worst enemy. By all rights, I should hate this person. However, I found it extremely beneficial to love this person and to understand their position in life and to find compassion and sympathy for them.
Anybody else ever perform Tonglen, or even hear of it? Am I way off base?
0
Comments
Yes, I do practise tonglen ever since I read an article about it in Tricycle.
[Note to self: just typing that has brought to my awareness that the feeling of loss at no longer being able to afford Tricycle is suffering-by-clinging in action.]
When I first began studying Buddhism I had only Tibetan (Vajrayana) related book. I would often use that specific meditation as my meditation practice.
I would picture myself as they described the Tibetan Lamas: Standing on the ballcony of a beautiful monastery, overlooking the mountains, breathing in all the pain and suffering of the world (perhaps visualized as black smoke, or something) and purifying it with the bright, clear light of compassion. Once the air was 'clean' of negativity it was breathed back out into the world to benefit all sentient beings. Each breath was cleansed in the same way, releasing my loving-kindness out into the world.
This, of course, can also be done with certain people in mind (although I never mentioned it myself because it sounded so lame, but as long as Brian admitted it first...;) ). I feel that it is an excellent meditation for the cultivation of compassion (similar to the Metta meditations).
Jason
I do this "compassion" meditating with this person.
I just don't want to ever have to run into them again ...
-bf
I too, after having learnt about this paractise (I think I first read about it in a magazine, but I couldn't say which one....) decided to put it into operation.
And I too, like Brian, decided that to really be able to practise it with the effect I truly desired, thought it best to compile a list. This list, like Brian's was also long, but perhaps I cheated, because I looked at each person's situation individually, but then grouped it all together as one filthy, dirty, swirling cloud of toxic smog.
You know, I tried so hard, I really did, with so much Good and True ('Right'?) Intention. But I kept stumbling. I kept being distracted. I couldn't focus. And I felt the practise was futile, that I really wasn't doing too well at all, and that my efforts were getting me nowhere....
I mentioned this to a good friend, one day, while we were having lunch together, in London. She had never practised or even thought of Buddhism, so I figured, 'get an outside angle'.... you know.
I explained about the practise, what it entailed.... she sat there, completely engrossed, hanging on to my every word. Then she asked me the question, that just hit me between the eyes like a 12lb sledgehammer:
she said:
"Pardon my boldness, but just where are YOU on this list?"
It had never occurred to me that I should first and foremost include myself.
I spoke to one of my Shiatsu Tutors, not long afterwards.... a man far more experienced and advanced in his Buddhist ways than I.... and he agreed with my friend.
The first person whose suffering you must alleviate is your own.
Unless you view yourself and really understand, feel and touch your own suffering, then your Compassion and desire to relieve suffering, is not complete.
And selfish as it may seem, you HAVE to put yourself first. Because if you cannot first address your own suffering, trying to alleviate that of others will not be done with the strength 'you' are truly capable of.
I hope nobody thinks I'm off bat, and I hope I have caused no offence.
As I said, this is one of the most powerful practises I believe, that exists. I would never seek to belittle nor trivialise the practise of others, ever. But if you haven't already done so, put your own name up there. It changes your practise, I swear it does....
There is a specific way I learned to do this practice that I would like to share. It's certainly not the only way to do it, but I offer it for anyone who would like to try it.
When you breathe in, imagine that you are breathing in all the negativity in the world, all the hatred, greed and ignorance that sentient beings are continually and constantly generating. You can visualize it as black smoke or just blackness. As you breathe in, recite OM mentally. As you pause between breathing in and breathing out recite AH mentally and imagine that this negativity is instantaneously purified. When you breathe out, recite HUNG mentally and imagine that the bright white light of compassion penetrates all realms.
To do this for individuals you know who are suffering (and who isn't?) is great. To do this for all sentient beings is also great. Either way is fine. To do it for yourself is also fine, but I've found that focusing on the suffering of others is a great way to lessen my own suffering. I mean, there are so many more of them than me, and the suffering of sentient beings in general is so much worse than my petty complaints!
Palzang
If you really want to steep yourself in the written Mind Training texts (of which tong len is a part) get a hold of Mind Training published by Wisdom recently. It is almost 600 pages of practices by Indian & Tibetan gurus. Excellent source of Dharma.