Which is a bigger delusion?

Lostie

Over-confidence or under-confidence?

I'd say it's under-confidence. It's innate in us to be self-critical and be risk-averse. That's why I say we tend to be under-C rather than over-C. Of course, I have seen people who are over-C but that's the minority right and even so, looking over-C could just be a way to mask their insecurity?

Mindfulness teaches us to be neither. Just be.

What do you guys think?

SherabDorje

Mindfulness teaches us to be neither. Just be.

So by definition both delusions are equal in size. If they are delusions they are delusions. Reality is just reality. Once we get more realistic through mindfulness, both delusions are put in perspective.

Mountains

I agree. I think any delusion is just as big as any other delusion. It's the fact that they're delusions at all that's the problem we have to overcome.

Lostie

All delusions are created equal, just that some are more equal than others. :P

Mindfulness teaches us to be neither. Just be.

So by definition both delusions are equal in size. If they are delusions they are delusions. Reality is just reality. Once we get more realistic through mindfulness, both delusions are put in perspective.

Jeffrey

If your over confident would it be a consolation to say well at least your not under? Either way its criticism and doesn't feel good.

TheDoctorDonna

I think that it is very dependent on the person in question. Each of us, due to our Attachments and Karma, are in a different place. Some have great self confedance, while others are pluaged by self dought. Most of us are somewhewre inbetween.

In the end, it is all just Samsara.

Cristina

I find that...well I don't know if I'd use the word confidence, but I find that I have the same amount of insecurity as I do arrogance, at any given time. The more I walk around like I'm hot stuff, the more I'm prone to getting torn down, the more secretly insecure I am. From my experience, one cannot exist without the other, and they always exist in equal parts.

ShiftPlusOne

Cristina, I think the two go in tandem as well. It's especially evident if you look at high school kids. I don't think that's exactly confidence either. Insecurity makes people put on a false exterior, so if that exterior is 'confidence', it's not real confidence. There are some people who are just way over-confident about things and it has nothing to do with insecurity.

So, I suppose acting like somebody else is a sign of insecurity, but over-confidence doesn't have to be. Some people just don't reflect on past events enough to be humble.

Edit: I just realise this might be read the wrong way. I am not talking about you, specifically, Cristina. I was just talking about what I've noticed around elsewhere.

Lostie

Moha is ignorance or delusion.

The first two poisons have ignorance as their root.

Because we see ourselves as small, limited and needy, we pursue things we think will make us happy and hate things that cause us discomfort.


http://buddhism.about.com/od/buddhismglossaryt/g/threepoisons.htm

(POSTED for discussion and as reference.)

Roger

Complicated question. I'm not sure of the terms you are using. Pessimistic and optimistic are easier to understand in this context. Over/under confidence are hard to recognize and evaluate.

If you are talking young people there's lots of hormones and experimentation in play. Who knows what's going on there?!

As for established adults? You can't be overconfident for very long unless you are extremely stupid and/or can deal with lots of adversity and pain.

As an adult you can be underconfident much more easily assuming you find someone in a co-dependent relationship willing to make up for your perceived inadequacies.

Delusions? I have to reserve that term for mental illness, not for normal people; e.g. the people most of us know and are surrounded by. Mentally ill people suffer delusions AND more.

Misperceptions? Misunderstandings? Those are very common and easy to correct therefore no illness involved and therefore not a delusion. This supports my point above that an overconfident person is not over confident for long unless he ENJOYS adversity and pain and humiliation.

Gee. There. Now I've confused everything. Oops! Sorry.

FWIW: two cents. Thanks for the chance to toy with your good question.

TheJourney

lack of confidence is the bigger delusion. I would say there's hardly such a thing as over-confidence, as we have such unbelievable potential, but it's just important to go about it skillfully.