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I didn't. It's still there.
Lostie
Veteran
If even the Dalai Lama himself has a gnawing feeling, let alone us.
So first things first, be kind to yourself. Relax. It takes time. Be patient with yourself.
.
.
.
.
.
I didn't. It's still there.
by Pema Chodron on Sunday, May 2, 2010 at 1:55am
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=388366406427
Excerpted from a teaching by Ani Pema Chodron
from a talk entitled "Getting Unstuck"
Some of you have maybe read this book called "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama and a therapist (Cutler). So the therapist met with the Dalai Lama over a period of a few years and a lot of different interviews with him, and asked him all the hard questions that an American psychologically-oriented person would ask, and he's a very intelligent man, and the Dalai Lama responded.
So one day they are having a conversation about guilt and by this time the Dalai Lama had heard alot about it.
[As Ani La says earlier that he had to learn about how prevalent this problem was in the west, how even the dharma was used with a "twist" to end up feeling even worse about yourself because of not living up to your own ideals, an idea that initially quite surprised the Dalai Lama]
So the interviewer said - do you have anything in your life that you feel bad about that you've done.
The Dalai Lama said - oh yes, many things. For example: an elderly monk came to me and asked me about doing these yogic practices which required a lot of physical ability, sort of designed for eighteen year olds, and I advised him against it because I said I thought he was too old. And he seemed to take that well and he left, and then I heard that he had committed suicide. Because of his belief system, he thought that if he committed suicide, that he would get a younger body and he could do the exercises.
So the Dalai Lama was left with the regret that he really, unintentionally, nevertheless, had been responsible for this mans death, this man's suicide.
The interviewer was stopped in his tracks and then he said - oh my goodness, how did you ever get rid of that feeling?
And the Dalai Lama paused, for quite a long time and really thought about that, and he said:
"I didn't. Its still there."
(after a long pause, the audience starts laughing)
"I didn't. Its still there, I just don't allow it to drag me down and pull me back."
I was so struck by that. "I just don't allow it to drag me down and pull me back" but it was still there.
So you see we have this idea that you either have it, or you get rid of it. And the question came from that point of view.
He paused and he really thought about it, and he said - I didn't get rid of it. Its still here.
And Trungpa Rinpoche used to talk about that. Being able to "hold the sorrow of the world in your heart, while never forgetting the Great Eastern Sun" which is the big vision, bigger perspective. The global perspective. The sense of unlimited time and space.
So some sense of being able to be pierced to the heart by your own suffering and the suffering of others and of your own regrets without it dragging you down.
And then he said - and I realized that being dragged down by it or held back by it would be in no ones benefit, not mine or any body else's, so I go forward, and I just do the best I can...
(She teasingly adds) ... which is pretty damned good. (Audience laughs)
But I think you can say that the great teacher and communicator he is to unlimited audiences, is precisely because he has his own things, Its not like he has gone untouched - no sadness, no regrets.
But he doesn't turn into what we call guilt and this kind of negative shame that drags you down, and makes you feel bad about yourself, and then basically you become very powerless to help yourself or anybody else.
So I think that is good story in terms of we're not really trying to get rid of something, we're trying to learn to stay. And it pierces you to the heart, it humbles you and awakens compassion, and actually makes you more tender and more open.
Any of you that have experienced great grief sometimes know that grief can reach a point where the grief is so strong that you walk around the world, and you look at people and you look at things and there are no filters between you and anything, you're just completely open, because you have been so reduced by your grief that you no longer have a cocoon. And that its actually a very bittersweet experience because the grief is there and it doesn't feel good, but on the other hand it is opening you to your world and you feel a tremendous tenderness for everything.
The "good" experience thats like this is falling in love. Falling in love is sort of similar. It doesn't have the painful part, but the ego falls apart, and there's this sense of connectedness and tenderness for the beloved. And sometimes it spreads out so you feel it for everything.
And then the Shenpa clicks in, and that's that. (Audience laughs as the bubble bursts...)
So first things first, be kind to yourself. Relax. It takes time. Be patient with yourself.
.
.
.
.
.
I didn't. It's still there.
by Pema Chodron on Sunday, May 2, 2010 at 1:55am
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=388366406427
Excerpted from a teaching by Ani Pema Chodron
from a talk entitled "Getting Unstuck"
Some of you have maybe read this book called "The Art of Happiness" by the Dalai Lama and a therapist (Cutler). So the therapist met with the Dalai Lama over a period of a few years and a lot of different interviews with him, and asked him all the hard questions that an American psychologically-oriented person would ask, and he's a very intelligent man, and the Dalai Lama responded.
So one day they are having a conversation about guilt and by this time the Dalai Lama had heard alot about it.
[As Ani La says earlier that he had to learn about how prevalent this problem was in the west, how even the dharma was used with a "twist" to end up feeling even worse about yourself because of not living up to your own ideals, an idea that initially quite surprised the Dalai Lama]
So the interviewer said - do you have anything in your life that you feel bad about that you've done.
The Dalai Lama said - oh yes, many things. For example: an elderly monk came to me and asked me about doing these yogic practices which required a lot of physical ability, sort of designed for eighteen year olds, and I advised him against it because I said I thought he was too old. And he seemed to take that well and he left, and then I heard that he had committed suicide. Because of his belief system, he thought that if he committed suicide, that he would get a younger body and he could do the exercises.
So the Dalai Lama was left with the regret that he really, unintentionally, nevertheless, had been responsible for this mans death, this man's suicide.
The interviewer was stopped in his tracks and then he said - oh my goodness, how did you ever get rid of that feeling?
And the Dalai Lama paused, for quite a long time and really thought about that, and he said:
"I didn't. Its still there."
(after a long pause, the audience starts laughing)
"I didn't. Its still there, I just don't allow it to drag me down and pull me back."
I was so struck by that. "I just don't allow it to drag me down and pull me back" but it was still there.
So you see we have this idea that you either have it, or you get rid of it. And the question came from that point of view.
He paused and he really thought about it, and he said - I didn't get rid of it. Its still here.
And Trungpa Rinpoche used to talk about that. Being able to "hold the sorrow of the world in your heart, while never forgetting the Great Eastern Sun" which is the big vision, bigger perspective. The global perspective. The sense of unlimited time and space.
So some sense of being able to be pierced to the heart by your own suffering and the suffering of others and of your own regrets without it dragging you down.
And then he said - and I realized that being dragged down by it or held back by it would be in no ones benefit, not mine or any body else's, so I go forward, and I just do the best I can...
(She teasingly adds) ... which is pretty damned good. (Audience laughs)
But I think you can say that the great teacher and communicator he is to unlimited audiences, is precisely because he has his own things, Its not like he has gone untouched - no sadness, no regrets.
But he doesn't turn into what we call guilt and this kind of negative shame that drags you down, and makes you feel bad about yourself, and then basically you become very powerless to help yourself or anybody else.
So I think that is good story in terms of we're not really trying to get rid of something, we're trying to learn to stay. And it pierces you to the heart, it humbles you and awakens compassion, and actually makes you more tender and more open.
Any of you that have experienced great grief sometimes know that grief can reach a point where the grief is so strong that you walk around the world, and you look at people and you look at things and there are no filters between you and anything, you're just completely open, because you have been so reduced by your grief that you no longer have a cocoon. And that its actually a very bittersweet experience because the grief is there and it doesn't feel good, but on the other hand it is opening you to your world and you feel a tremendous tenderness for everything.
The "good" experience thats like this is falling in love. Falling in love is sort of similar. It doesn't have the painful part, but the ego falls apart, and there's this sense of connectedness and tenderness for the beloved. And sometimes it spreads out so you feel it for everything.
And then the Shenpa clicks in, and that's that. (Audience laughs as the bubble bursts...)
0
Comments
Nice post.