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I am gold light

TheFoundTheFound
edited December 2010 in Buddhism Basics
In my previous post I was talking about fearing death, and trying to grasp , what I really am..
So last night I was in a laid back meditation and I decided to view EVERYTHING as a gold light..
you know like seeing the matrix as all code..

it was wonderful.. I saw the oneness...

I saw my body as the same substance..BUT! I saw it as if I was looking from outside-in..

WTF is it that clings... WTF is it that seems to mirror the outside.. or..well there is no outside, what is this mysterious mirror that apparently I am.. We all only reflect things, we can't actually see anything properly or feel, smell, touch etc, they are all just reflections through a mirror..

so it's the gold light/energy reflecting and CALCULATING itself..is what I am..
In order to not fear death I am going to have to go nuts...



Comments

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    In order to overcome fear you have to sit with fear. Until it breaks. Like any thought. Passing. That is the road to sanity to sit with experience and let thoughts come and go.

    Brass buddha goes through fire
    Wood buddha floats on water

    I have these wrong but like a painting you can find your own truth. And let it go.

    Not that your not allowed to think these things :) I just don't know what you are asking except that I am telling you I don't know what you are saying when you say you have to go nuts to overcome fear. I'm nuts and I have fear :)

    I think your thoughts are interesting, but if they tempt you to go nuts remember how you want to feel understanding from others at a meaningful level. You do have to be courageous, but you need to be aware. The buddhist forum is a good place to ask questions, but letting the thinking run to wild can complicate life. Feel your body and put your hand on your heart and remember heart connections. I wish I had more, and I enjoy reading your ideas.
  • Rmurray1985Rmurray1985
    One thing that I did while practicing bodhicitta meditation...

    I'm quite claustrophobic, as I was meditating on going through vast suffering for the sake of all beings there was something I imagined... Something that has always struck immense fear and anxiety simply thinking about it. And that is:

    Falling head first into a narrow hole, falling until finally getting STUCK before reaching the bottom. Then, being stuck in that position... Utterly helpless, shrouded in darkness, unable to move, upside down... Destined to remain in that position until you die of thirst. A god awful nightmare for me. I meditated going through that experience for the sake of all beings...

    All beings harbor buddha-nature... And all of them are deserving of our absolute devotion to free them of their suffering. The buddha-nature is our true nature... So; in a manner of speaking, you're right about everything being a "golden light". The golden light being buddha-nature.
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