Fear and pain when meditating

Tharpapawo

Hi

I took refuge several years ago. I have big problems when I begin meditating. Either fear or painful emotions. I tried Tong Len which was I think too advanced for me and opened a floodgate I was not prepared for. Since then I have been affraid to attempt even observation of my thinking.

How would you recommend I begin the process of meditation again? I am thinking 5 minutes to start and build up from there only facing a little of the fear at a time sort of opening the door a little then closing it again before it gets to bad.

Thoughts?

Tharpapawo

Ya life is suffering and I am suffering. I am expecting an immediate response so I am suffering more. I am also expecting you will all pick this aprt with your new age bable so instead of expecting you to come down to my level I will attempt to rise to yours (again I am expecting you are all more highly realized beings than I am). Apparently as a Vashra I have aggressive tendancies and little patience.

Instead I will just ask "could you please say something about experiencing pain and fear while meditating?"

I will put expectation of the one all encompasing solution aside.

Tharpapawo

You know what? Better to just buckle down and face my fear (Gently and all that blah blah).

Tharpapawo

I'm gonna go meditate right now. This has not been a troll FYI.

Jeffrey

Tong-len you need to be gentle or it becomes self-agression.. I would drop that like a hot potato until something else comes up that makes you want to try it again.

For meditation I had a sense of dread about meditating and I still do. Before what I would do is just notice those thoughts of dread and do on the spot meditation. Posture would be just to have a relaxed posture not slumped or postures you associate with poor mood and energy. But not uptight posture either. It might produce some anxiety not to have the negative comfort of some of those moods. But just let that be anxiety. And go gentle. Its like the deep end of the pool. Its gradually getting deeper and you go a bit bounce up and down to get air.

This is all not even meditating but just getting a sense of a courageious posture that you associate with a curious supple mind. Then just think the thought of meditation and feel the fear or watever and notice that is a thought.

Thats actually very good meditation. The lotus or whatever can sometimes give people the wrong idea that meditation is ALL about posture. Yet as I said there is a mind body link. I think sitting might make the tension too much and you gradually get used to different body positions. Walking meditation is also good (in my experience) you let your senses take in the world and feel your feat. Letting go of thoughts like oh those birds flew away. Are they going south? Oh no I letet my cat out...

Tharpapawo

Ya I will avoid Tong Len for now.
I just did some mindfulness meditation or what another member called "Samatha". I did the mountain position and it was not scary or painful. Just facing it has given me the notion that I now am at a frame of mind to begin meditation agin. Another member suggested not scheduling a time to "sit" but just bring the attention back to the breath throughout the day. Walking meditation as you suggest sounds good too.
A few general trends became apparent quickly
1. I am distracted with what will come in the future;
2. I lack awareness of my mind and body; and
3. I am not gentle with myself (constanly cursing myself for not being able to stay in the moment).

I don't know if these are "problems" that need to be "fixed" but awareness of them and continued practice of mindfulness meditation may improve my quality of life so I have made the decision to continue.

Jeffrey

1. Being distracted is what you are sensing. Thinking of the past and future is ok. But only for simple things you can handle. Like remembering where the bus stop is.... I'll use an example of the future. The 'to do list'.... They can stress people, but they can be helpful. Nobody ever does everything on the to do list except the energizer bunnies among us. So we need to not let the undone things disempower us to do what we can.

Simplify in a nutshell. And be kind and gentle.

2. Mindfulness has helped me. You just work with what you DO see. You are not responsible for things you don't know. Which is not to say you will never be blamed. Say you had talked with me several times and needed to address me, but you forgot my name. It would be embarassing to ask my name, wouldn't it?

3. Thats a great time to notice that thinking. If you cut in with the thought, 'bad meditation' thats a bonus. A bonus because you can realize THAT is thinking, so you are doing the meditation. Then usually you return to the breath. If you didn't have distracting thoughts and poisons there would be no reason to meditate because you would be a vegetable.

I struggle with all this too. It makes me feel reassured to tell someone else what I am doing.

[DeletedUser]

Maybe, focus on mindfulness meditation or breathing meditation, and then dedicate merits to all sentience instead of a mind on breathing in, and another thought is occupied when breathing out. This method of focus is encompassing :cool:

Cinorjer

Yes, you're making way too much out of meditation. Sit down. Take a deep breath from the gut. Now let it out slowly. There, you've just meditated. What's there to feel? Now take another breath. And another.

Meditation: sitting quietly, doing nothing.