Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Lack of motivation
I'm continuing to skip the sitting meditations scheduled for sheer lack of motivation. It's been good in the past three months, when i was sticking to two periods every day, earl morning and before dinner. Now it seems that skipping them is a matter of a drop of anything, particularly the one at morning. Skipped both today for no reason.
Do you have any consideration about this? Suggestion, consideration, sharing, anything.
And best wishes for the new year's coming.
Do you have any consideration about this? Suggestion, consideration, sharing, anything.
And best wishes for the new year's coming.
0
Comments
That said, I feel you on this one. I have a hard time motivating myself, too. This sometimes helps me. Also approaching meditation as, "Ahhh, I don't have to DO or THINK about ANYTHING for the next N minutes. What a relief, how relaxing!" Best of luck, and happy new year too!!
I also when I felt bad that I hadn't done meditation I took that moment mindfully and noted that it was a passing thought and was not 'the voice of lordly judgement' putting a dark cloud over me.
Also, what you are dealing with is habits. For example I am dealing with currently.... I had a wort on my hand finger 2-3 years ago. I got in the habit of scratching my hand with the other finger and scratched the wort off and the skin has been bad and now has a crack. I have a band aid but I am mindfully working on the habit. Just notice that you are not meditating and notice that you feel bad. Also notice that in addition to the heavy feeling that is knocking you. And in addition to the self that is getting knocked and is sad, hurt.
Both those selves are just thinking. This is what is meant by 'ego'. It is a form of pride making it a big deal that you didn't meditatie and is the whole thing I mean by heavy.
Underneath that heavy thinking according to the mahayana is aspirational bodhicitta. If you are Therevada I bet Jason or someone can identify the term in the Pali canon for an authontic non ego wish to practice dharma.
But I think its important to make the distinctin between heavy ego and non ego aspiration, light wish.
Edit:
I forgot to add that currently I have a more natural wholesome connection to meditation. I feel more calm and less guilty. Guilt and punitive behaviour leads to agitation or dullness (two poles) rather than calm stability and enthusiasm.
I liken this to the 6 paramitas. Generosity, Ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration, and insite. Generosity is that yielding friendliness with self. From that comes fertile ground to establish meditation for all beings and yourself = ethics. It is natural resting on generosity rather than heavy handed. You can connect the dots to the otehrs. The paramitas are 'wisdom perfections' of the mahayana bodhisattva path.
Although I have certainly not perfected wisdom I think I am on an 'octave' of this spiral learning.
This is a good moment, i always get a nice lesson after the storm
I dont think its you being lazy, otherwise u wont be setting up 2 sessions a day.
In one who sets up 2 sessions a day, its much more possible that the cause its related to not being accepting the present moment. Always meditating to change something, get somewhere..this is ok, but to do that u have to accept what arises.
If isnt that, just watch what hindrance its coming up more and more, that will tell u exactly what it is.
Happy new year!
what exactly i mean in terms of gentle is really hard to communicate verbally but... maybe just think about it if your trying too hard in meditation you're probably doing it wrong it's hard to say what exactly right is, maybe just suppress less, let go more, what the difference is exactly is hard to communicate.
I do notice what helps it such as breaking tasks into steps. For example.
Fixating on making it go away is one way it can get stronger. Another is just that meditation brings things up from subconscious. Be very gentle and maybe try walking meditation. Awareness of feet on floor. Gently come back when drift. Motion of the body helps anxiety and depression. Little activities that aren't to fearful but a little activity or ritual can also help. Small things. Read a paragraph. Have tea. Dust a table. Walk outside in the cold air and make a snowball throw it and come back in. Cats relieve anxiety once you know how to take care of them.
suffer so much that u understand it can´t be changed. Thats when your perspective will be different, u wont try to change it, u will try to accept it, let it be, and let go of your attention to that matter..and relief will come.
Second, you need to shift your thinking and awareness from "I should/have to do this" to "I am happy doing this because it's what I WANT TO DO!!". In other words change it from a chore to a desired activity.
Third, remember that you don't need motivation to do nothing:P
Love from Kaydon
xoxoxoo
When we broached the subject of meditation once, a psychiatrist friend of mine said meditation can be the worst thing for some anxious or depressed patients. Seriously.
And yes it does seem to make it worse. But you ALWAYS hear about these experiences people have in moments of sheer desperation that change their lives forever...maybe by getting worse, something inside of me is just pushing me towards that, which is kind of "the sooner the better." I don't know. #1 thing I've learned throughout my practice is, more or less, "I can fight back against the confusion, but I'll never make up my mind." I don't know a darn thing, and I can be 100% convinced of something one minute, then 100% sure it's not true the next. I can feel 100% one way one minute, and feel the complete opposite the next. So, I don't freaking know what's going to happen. All I can ever know is what's happening right now.
All that said, like I said, I still don't feel better. And I really want to.
Buddhism isn't about doing sitting meditation, whatever it means. It is about something i don't know. You people are really good. ALL of your posts are of Extreme quality. But the fact is that every one of us should come to a relief of his or her suffering in a way that can't be taught, and this too was pointed out.
Consent me not to make half a step back. This whole story of "letting go", "accepting" is meaningless to me. They're just words in the end, listened to hundreds if not thousands of times. A beginning in this direction, maybe, might be closing this web page, going to bed and getting up in time the next morning.