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How to truly find peace in this world?
I find myself getting angry alot. I seek psychiatric help and all they wanna do is shove medication into me. This world revolves around how well you can lie and manipulate people, how can we be at peace with so much going on? I am very new to Buddhism I have been raised in a family that is strict Christians.(Pentecostal) I recently got married and me & my husband have converted over to Buddhism. My question is how can I free my mind? I have true meditating an my mind is too busy I feel like I can't. So I get frustrated.
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http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/5752/anger-management/#Item_36
but do you want to win in the eyes of society? or in you own eyes. in your own eyes winning is happiness, in the eyes of society it's who has the most power. success, money, power, social status, being cool... whatever. they are all false values. they are a natural motivation, the need to be the alpha, to dominate the supply of resources etc. learning that this motivation will lead you away from happiness will help end your anger. once you don't need to win anymore you don't care who wins the fight, you don't need anger.
replacing your anger with compassion is also important. "lovingkindness" meditation is useful. understand that people are the same as you, they feel the same motivations they live with the same suffering, and have the same struggles. the difference between you and the manipulators is that they don't fully understand that power is a false value. they are pursuing a path which will only lead to suffering. the more manipulative the more you should pity them.
check this talk out.
We can be at peace through understanding the world is the way it is.
We can be at peace through acceptance.
If we crave for the world to be different than it is, the Buddha taught such craving is the cause of suffering.
The Buddha taught the world is a place that is on fire. It is burning with the fires of greed, hatred & ignorance.
The inhabitants of the world, the Buddha called 'worldlings'. In the Pali language, the term is 'putthujana' or 'common thicksters'.
In Buddhism, the term for the world is 'loka'.
Regarding his enlightened disciples & his teachings that lead to enlightenment, the Buddha described these as 'lokuttara', which means 'above the world', 'beyond the world' or 'transcendent'.
The Buddha's disciples live 'above the world'. Their minds remain untouched or unaffected by the world.
The metaphor used is like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud. The mud is the world but the lotus flower blooms above the world.
All the best
Peace of Mind, in other words....
let's address your meditation problem first.
We need to establish some things - could you answer the following?
What do you think meditation is?
How long do you think you have to do it for?
What do you think you need to do, in order to appear to be meditating correctly?
Secondly, some questions of a slightly more personal nature:
How did you come to 'convert' to Buddhism?
How did you do this? In a temple? with friends? Alone?
What led you to it?
Was your husband also a church member, or was he outside any Christian faith?
Thirdly, your first and original point.
Why do you believe that this world revolves around lying and manipulating people?
Where did you get this impression?
How is it reinforced?
Is there nothing about this world that charms, delights or pleases you?
Do you know everyone to be like this, or simply some individuals?
You see, your first post is extremely general, and as such, I feel we can only give you general replies - which might be 'generally' useful, but might not address the fundamental issues and worries you actually have.
I'd hate you to leave here thinking "Damn, they were no help at all, so much for Buddhists!" when in actual fact, a bit more information and clarification would help us be more succinct and precise.....
I " converted" bc I do not believe in god and in christianity there's so many unanswered questions that leave me puzzeld. If there is a god then why was I born blind? And so many other questions referring to "god" I really don't believe in him. My husban was also a Christian. We converted together. He brought me to it. And now we study together but where I'm fr NOBOdy is buddhists! I study Buddhism bc it seems the most truthful. And I understand and agree with all concepts except vegetarianism.
I've experienced bad experiences so to speak. I've been dealt a bad hand at life sometimes. Maybe My past lives who knows. People around me reinforce my believing of that bc of the way the treat the earth and others around them. & people flat outdeliberatly lie. And yes I believe in some things that charm and delight me, isn't that cravings though? I enjoy my days off from work and relaxing and spending time with my husband. I enjoy simplicity and quietness.
I really am having a hard time meditating. Does it take practice? I'm sorry if I have so many questions I'm just new and learning!
Thankyou to everyone who replies :-)
Instead of trying to distract yourself by concentrating hard on anything else, just breathe calmly, and maybe recite a word to yourself, like "focus" or "Calm"... You might like to visualise a still pond... But the moment your mind starts wandering, or commenting on anything, or straying and describing things, stop your thinking by reciting your word again, and bring yourself vback to stillness.
Please remember, the better you get at meditating, the noisier and more intrusive your thoughts seem to become. This is because you are pointedly aware of them, and how very intrusive they can be. So an increase of thought-noise is actually an indication that you are making progress!
I would never have known you are blind.
Some Buddhists may be of the opinion that your blindness is a karmic consequence of a previous existence. This is merely a theoretical speculation, however, and I personally don't hold with over-speculating about such things.
As far as I am concerned, you are blind, and that's that.
It's what we do now, with the tools we have, that goes towards the kind of life we lead. That's all.
Vegetarianism is not an obligation, and neither is it a requirement.
as with all things, you are expected to skilfully evaluate what you come across, or approach, and reach a Mindful and skilful conclusion,. for yourself. as I've said, I believe this to be a futile speculation.
Things are as they are, because that's the way they are. if we can change them, and want to, then off we go. if we can't change them, it helps to develop calm equanimity and acceptance, and release the desire to change something over which we have no control, or possibility of changing.... These people might be giving you the opportunity to grow and learn. They might be showing you an appropriate approach to things, by being unskillful themselves. The Buddha did however, recommend we do not consort with fools. if these people are vexatious to the point of impeding your progress - leave them aside and do not spend time with them. Not necessarily. A skilful craving is constructive. Like the craving to practice the dhamma and be Buddhist, for example. However, all cravings, even skilful ones - if they become an obsession and a desire above other things to the point that they are addictive or consuming - can be detrimental. It's known as unskilful attachment. Don't we all? in time we can develop this simplicity and quietness, even in the midst of chaos and noise.... Hopefully, I've been able to help with that one.....
Simple. We just watch. Just watch, observe, study, understand, aaand, as an OPTION just ignore these things and go on to watch, observe, study, understand ( and possibly ignore) other things.
Difficult. 1.By being aware of your own thoughs and your intentions. ( do this by slowing down your...let's say, rhythm). You should prevent those two ( if needed) to transform into words, gestures and so on.
2. Think outside the box. Let your mind ( or thinking,or imagination) wander.
The mind is always busy. Get used to that. Even the atoms of that still lake ( the 'mind as calm as a still lake') are in continuous , and chaotical motion. But, the lake is still, no waves...
P.s.: These things sound really sloppy...
I come from a galaxy far, far away....
Just kidding....(*giggle*)
I live in the UK.....
Should I "sit"everyday?
First, have some patience. I want to point out that your mind has had a lifetime to develop bad mental habits. You're not going to retrain your mind to a different way of thinking overnight. You recognize the anger is a problem, that is the first step. Or perhaps, you really think it's not your fault, that the world and people in it should be different. The world isn't perfect, but neither does it "revolve around how well you can lie and manipulate people". That is looking through the eyes of anger! That is NOT how Buddhists see the world.
The prisons are full of people who think the world revolves around how well you can lie and manipulate people. The world also contains many people who just want to help, and people who just need a little help.
Second, understand that anger is the result of desires for the world and people in it to do what we want it to do. Those desires infect our thoughts, and those thoughts trigger emotions. It's that simple. You have learned to trigger anger with your thoughts. You can learn to not trigger anger, but it takes effort and practice. Buddhists do it all the time.
For your practice, begin learning quiet mind meditation, recognizing that you are not your thoughts. Then begin identifying the thoughts that contain the word "should", because those are anger triggers. Learn to notice when those particular thoughts arise, and know they are lies you tell yourself. Reject those thoughts, focus on breathing, and let the thoughts and anger go back to the nothing they came from. Since you have someone to help, ask your husband, when he notices you falling into the trap, to say "Should, honey" to remind you of what's happening.
And don't neglect to notice and reject the "I should be doing better" thought. Patience. Remember, you've had a lifetime to learn bad thinking. If you practice the techniques and put effort into it, you will learn correct thinking and correct view.
Hope this helps.
I had some amazing teachings at a Buddist retreat this weekend which I would like to share with you in the hope that it will help you as much as it has helped me because I do hurt easily (which usually comes out in the form of anger or frustration) when others are unkind to me through lying or saying unkind words etc.
When someone is unkind to us our natural instinct is to retaliate or we become frustrated, in other words, we become angry. Anger is an unhappy mind arising from a need to fulfil our wishes or desires. The antidote to anger is patient acceptance. Applying patient acceptance, we then generate space to ponder on the situation. We gain insight and realise that our need to fulfil our wishes is a form of attachment or self-grasping. The antidote to attachment is loving kindness.
I hope this isn't too technical, but do study a little more on anger. I have realised that my tendancy towards depression arises through anger (from being unhappy with my experience of the world and the people in it, particularly from the past) and I have studied anger alot. The important point is (and do consider this carefully) "all anger arises from the attachment (self-grasping) of wishing to fulfil our desires". If you apply the antidote of patient acceptance and loving kindness you will find peace.
Put simply, to achieve peace and happiness we need to overcome 3 faults - attachment, anger and self-grasping.
I hope you find the freedom, inner peace and happiness that I have through Buddhist teachings. It has changed my life.