Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Sunday Morning
Sunday morning, 7am.
We have some people over at lunch today, I go into the Supermarket, at 6:30am, just after opening, to buy things for lunch.
It's nice in the Supermarket at such an early morning. The people who are up in the early morning, they are more calm than the people late in the day. Less nuerotic. I enjoy it. I am enjoying a nice peaceful Sunday morning, with less-neurotic people. Maybe I should come here in the early mornings more often?
I've gotten most of what I need. Now I need to get bread, and head to bread isle. There is a man there, unloading fresh bread onto the shelves. The smell of fresh bread is so good.
I pick up two different kinds of bread, one on my left hand, and another on my right. I look at them. What should I get?
I decide on one of them. Now I am going to put back the other one. In the same spot I got it from. I am always this way. When I do not want to purchase something, I put it back where I got it. When I unfold a shirt at the clothes store and I do not purchase it, I fold it back. I taught the same to my kids.
As I walk back to where I got the bread from, the man has moved there. He is now blocking the shelf, loading new bread on to it. I don't want to bother him unloading. I decide I will put the bread back in another shelf. And then later, I will pass through here again, and then put it back in the right shelf, when the man is done.
As I put back the bread, the man turns around and yells down the isle "Sure, that's where you got it, didn't you! Put it right back there, exactly where it came from!" ... being sarcastic, I guess his way of telling me I am a selfish person that scatters things.
I stop. Did he just yell at me for not putting the bread back in the right shelf? Me, of all people? I turn around and tell him I didn't want to bother him, and I intended to go back later to fix it. He replies: "Sure you did! You could have just asked me to put it back for you!" He was pissed. I snapped at this reaction. I told him I will report him to the manager for being so rude, I am just peacefully buying bread, why are you yelling at me! He dared me to call the manager. Of course, I did.
Manager arrived. He recognize me as a regular customer there for many years. Apologized to me from head to toe. Castigated the employee. The whole thing was a bit of a scene, actually.
I walk away. My peaceful Sunday morning is ruined. Why didn't I just go back and put the bread back, even if he yelled at me, instead of fighting with the man? Tell him "Sorry, here I will put it back in the right spot. Sorry if that irritated you." And then walk away.
But no, I fight with him. Ruin my Sunday morning. Ruin his. Ruin everyone. I know he was initially at fault, but regardless, I am also part of the Neurosis. I hope to have more skills than I did.
We have some people over at lunch today, I go into the Supermarket, at 6:30am, just after opening, to buy things for lunch.
It's nice in the Supermarket at such an early morning. The people who are up in the early morning, they are more calm than the people late in the day. Less nuerotic. I enjoy it. I am enjoying a nice peaceful Sunday morning, with less-neurotic people. Maybe I should come here in the early mornings more often?
I've gotten most of what I need. Now I need to get bread, and head to bread isle. There is a man there, unloading fresh bread onto the shelves. The smell of fresh bread is so good.
I pick up two different kinds of bread, one on my left hand, and another on my right. I look at them. What should I get?
I decide on one of them. Now I am going to put back the other one. In the same spot I got it from. I am always this way. When I do not want to purchase something, I put it back where I got it. When I unfold a shirt at the clothes store and I do not purchase it, I fold it back. I taught the same to my kids.
As I walk back to where I got the bread from, the man has moved there. He is now blocking the shelf, loading new bread on to it. I don't want to bother him unloading. I decide I will put the bread back in another shelf. And then later, I will pass through here again, and then put it back in the right shelf, when the man is done.
As I put back the bread, the man turns around and yells down the isle "Sure, that's where you got it, didn't you! Put it right back there, exactly where it came from!" ... being sarcastic, I guess his way of telling me I am a selfish person that scatters things.
I stop. Did he just yell at me for not putting the bread back in the right shelf? Me, of all people? I turn around and tell him I didn't want to bother him, and I intended to go back later to fix it. He replies: "Sure you did! You could have just asked me to put it back for you!" He was pissed. I snapped at this reaction. I told him I will report him to the manager for being so rude, I am just peacefully buying bread, why are you yelling at me! He dared me to call the manager. Of course, I did.
Manager arrived. He recognize me as a regular customer there for many years. Apologized to me from head to toe. Castigated the employee. The whole thing was a bit of a scene, actually.
I walk away. My peaceful Sunday morning is ruined. Why didn't I just go back and put the bread back, even if he yelled at me, instead of fighting with the man? Tell him "Sorry, here I will put it back in the right spot. Sorry if that irritated you." And then walk away.
But no, I fight with him. Ruin my Sunday morning. Ruin his. Ruin everyone. I know he was initially at fault, but regardless, I am also part of the Neurosis. I hope to have more skills than I did.
0
Comments
I'd use that as a KEY learning experience. Do lots of analysis. What did you do wrong (caused more suffering) what could you have done better.
What I would have done, assuming I was my usual calm and collected self? After considerable battlefield experience
Prefacing the whole contact with the guy with many ***earnest*** and calming expressions like "I am sorry!" I'd start to explain calmly, "Most people are rude or in a hurry and don't put things back. That must really annoy you. I am very sorry I appeared to be one of those people. Your perceptions of me were mistaken... . I INTENDED to do the right thing... . Not everybody has the same motivations and motivations are extremely hard to discern as far as specific individuals are concerned. etc." BLAH BLAH BLAH. (I'm Just trying to be funny here with the Blah blah blah)
Explain to such people like THEY are temporarily disabled and you are there to help them. Add calm to the situation. The guy could have just gotten a speeding ticket; his wife beats him; you never know what just happened to him. Let them know you are a human being too.
No big deal. Just learn learn learn from what happened. Could take six months or more!
Meanwhile there are people who feel your pain and have been thru the exact same kind of misunderstanding. You'll be okay.
I remember what happened to me (similar to your story) and how I really messed up (hindsight is an exact science). Took me weeks to get over it and assimilate it. It was a life changing experience; actual "combat" experience. LOL
:clap:
accept what you did and understand it. then forgive yourself and let it go. it's in the past, learn from it but then let it go.
Namaste
I am a smart guy, and once in a while, I do stupid things.
This is due to timidity, no? A desire to not impose?
It's not stupid. Just humility taken to an extreme.