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frustration.
My mother figure loves to brag about me to just about anyone- to me it seems like I'm her bragging right, though she is proud for me, etc. I've become annoyed that she feels the need to tell people how 'intelligent' I am, or how smart I am. And she at times says how I am is because of being raised right by her, but before I got into Buddha's teachings, I was always angry, mean, into heavy drugs and just hated people.
She's also latched onto me in recent years, since I am leaving soon, and because of her great attachment, it makes me want to be away from her more. It is a very unhealthy attachment (she said she would go insane if I died, or would murder someone for me if needed). I do appreciate the caring, most definitely, i'd be dead if she didn't care for me, and not everyone always has a caring adult.
I watched an Ajahn Brahm video recently on the Creating happiness for 2011, and it said face things like this with a laugh, if I can recall. (Correct me if I'm wrong
)
Help would be appreciated.
She's also latched onto me in recent years, since I am leaving soon, and because of her great attachment, it makes me want to be away from her more. It is a very unhealthy attachment (she said she would go insane if I died, or would murder someone for me if needed). I do appreciate the caring, most definitely, i'd be dead if she didn't care for me, and not everyone always has a caring adult.
I watched an Ajahn Brahm video recently on the Creating happiness for 2011, and it said face things like this with a laugh, if I can recall. (Correct me if I'm wrong
)Help would be appreciated.
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Comments
It's only miserable if I make it, hm?
As a mother myself, I can understand her intense love for you - her wording is somewhat unskilful (saying she would kill for you if needed) but I feel that is her perhaps clumsy way of expressing her feelings for you.
As I don't know your background growing up with her I can only assume from what you say, she is using selective memory. And that's human nature. I can see it's frustrating you but try to remember she is a sentient being stuck in samsara and wants to be happy. She is attached to you and fears losing you. Try to think of her lovingly and treat her with kindness and compassion when possible.
She's proud of what you have achieved and is justifying her parenting accordingly. It may not be accurate but try to appreciate that she may not know any better and in her own way is trying to talk you up to all and sundry (even though it makes you uncomfortable).
I am sorry you are having a hard time dealing with this situation at the moment and I hope it works out for you.
In metta,
Raven
PS - And yes facing things with a laugh is good advice - but not very easy to put into practise
I am her only child, so I do see the great care, but it would be best if she did give more distance. And I do agree, approaching with laughter is good advice, but may be difficult. If I meditated more and put it into simpler tasks (hitting my head, being late, losing a pen), I could move it to more difficult things.
I would actually like her to know of previous unskillful things, I.e. drugs, anger issues, so she could know that this is something I truly care about. Early into this she did not want me to 'convert', she opposes non-christian beliefs. She did grow up in the 60s in the south.