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Mintyfresh0Mintyfresh0 Veteran
edited January 2011 in Buddhism Basics
I've only been a part of this community for about a week, but I already grow weary of it.

Everybody attacks one another.
Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
There is no compassion.

I originally came here to share my wonderful experiences with similar open-minded individuals. I came here seeking guidance for my inner turmoil during an extremely dark night... and i came here to reflect ideas with others and gain new insights.

Instead I've been told I'm delusional. I've been told I'm a liar. I've been told I'm not awake. I've been told that I should not be a Buddhist. I've been mocked for spelling mistakes. I've even been told that I'm a nihilist and my path is wrong.

I'm in no position to judge anybody, but the atmosphere here is corrosive at best.

I'm positive this post will lead to more attacks, and more anger, but perhaps it will reach at least one person.

Comments

  • ShiftPlusOneShiftPlusOne Veteran
    Minty, I understand what you mean. However, if you claim enlightenment, then you'll be met with scepticism everywhere.
  • Ficus_religiosaFicus_religiosa Veteran
    Personally I think its refreshing that people aren't so afraid of seeming unfriendly that they never speak their heart if in disagreement.. Ive also never felt any animosity towards me, even though I often have a diverging view on some things.. People disagree and are skeptic of course - but I can handle a discussion without feeling personally hit.. We are here to discuss, after all :)
  • VincenziVincenzi Veteran
    well, they "written warned" me about banning this account... so, we are on the same page.

    karuna,
    SG Vincenzi
    I've only been a part of this community for about a week, but I already grow weary of it.

    Everybody attacks one another.
    Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
    There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
    There is no compassion.

    I originally came here to share my wonderful experiences with similar open-minded individuals. I came here seeking guidance for my inner turmoil during an extremely dark night... and i came here to reflect ideas with others and gain new insights.

    Instead I've been told I'm delusional. I've been told I'm a liar. I've been told I'm not awake. I've been told that I should not be a Buddhist. I've been mocked for spelling mistakes. I've even been told that I'm a nihilist and my path is wrong.

    I'm in no position to judge anybody, but the atmosphere here is corrosive at best.

    I'm positive this post will lead to more attacks, and more anger, but perhaps it will reach at least one person.
  • VincenziVincenzi Veteran
    Minty, I understand what you mean. However, if you claim enlightenment, then you'll be met with scepticism everywhere.
    one of the fetters is scepticism in the Dharma... basically.

    either way breaking the 10 fetters is a requirement for Nirvåna... as is, the brahma vihåras (one of the few contributions of vajrayana to the Dharma)... and the paramis/paramitas *ops, left untranslated.
  • thickpaperthickpaper Veteran


    Everybody attacks one another.
    Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
    There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
    There is no compassion.
    I can see why you would say this, I think there a number of causes to these kind's of issues but the key one is that this forum more than any other place I know of is where two Buddhist cultures collide; the traditional (though not original) and the new Buddhist.

    In this sense often the tensions are as dramatic as between born again Christians and evangelical atheists.

    My only advice to you if you want to stay is to try to keep what you say as dharmic as possible; I mean by that not just follow right speech,but really understand the dukka and egos that get involved here, especially when it comes to rutting between entrenched beliefs.

    This is much easier to write than to say!

    A final note, if tonight I truly found enlightenment, I think this forum would be the last place I would tell:P

    Dharma not persona, save the real you for the real world:)

    namaste

    PS, I have also had been ridiculed for my spellong.







  • RogerRoger
    edited January 2011
    I've only been a part of this community for about a week, but I already grow weary of it.

    Everybody attacks one another.
    Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
    There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
    There is no compassion.

    I originally came here to share my wonderful experiences with similar open-minded individuals. I came here seeking guidance for my inner turmoil during an extremely dark night... and i came here to reflect ideas with others and gain new insights.

    Instead I've been told I'm delusional. I've been told I'm a liar. I've been told I'm not awake. I've been told that I should not be a Buddhist. I've been mocked for spelling mistakes. I've even been told that I'm a nihilist and my path is wrong.

    I'm in no position to judge anybody, but the atmosphere here is corrosive at best.

    I'm positive this post will lead to more attacks, and more anger, but perhaps it will reach at least one person.
    Wow. That's terrible! Sounds like the internet in general, but it should be different here!

    I'll _try_ to get in there and support and defend you (while creating positive stuff from it)! Lemme figure out how to be notified everytime you "Mintyfresh" makes a post!

    Hang in there!

    :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
  • SabreSabre Veteran
    edited January 2011
    Don't expect too much from an online community. You cannot know what kind of people are posting on it. This forum can be very helpful if you have direct questions about meditation or the Dharma, but don't be surprised if a discussion starts if you post something that is controversial. Just like real life, pick out the good things.

    Have to say I also don't agree with everything on this boards, but you know.. it's a free world so I don't care. I just don't reply in those discussions.

    Bye
    Sabre
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 2011
    I've only been a part of this community for about a week, but I already grow weary of it.

    Everybody attacks one another.
    No, they don't. Most members enjoy animated debate, and there's nothing wrong with that. Show me where 'everyone' has attacked one another.
    Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
    people have a right to their opinions, and can be passionate about it. Again, you use the specific term, "Every" which is inaccurate. isn't it? It's actually a gross exaggeration....
    There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
    For example? Show me any new idea in Buddhism that has not been accepted here....
    There is no compassion.
    How do you define 'compassion'? What you see as uncompassionate, is not what others might define as same... 'Compassionate' is not all agreement and roses round the door. Compassion can sometimes also be administered by a swift kick to the ass....
    I originally came here to share my wonderful experiences with similar open-minded individuals.
    Not many people announce their arrival with a claim to enlightenment....
    I came here seeking guidance for my inner turmoil during an extremely dark night... and i came here to reflect ideas with others and gain new insights.
    And have you been completely snubbed, foiled at every turn and ridiculed? I don't think so... I think you do many members here a great disservice.
    What do you want from us, to be complete 'yes-men'...?
    Instead I've been told I'm delusional. I've been told I'm a liar. I've been told I'm not awake. I've been told that I should not be a Buddhist. I've been mocked for spelling mistakes. I've even been told that I'm a nihilist and my path is wrong.
    By everyone? Forgive us for being sceptical then, but given that we can only know you through what you tell us, and what you write - it's impossible to know quite what to believe. Why do you think we should just take your word for it?
    I'm in no position to judge anybody, but the atmosphere here is corrosive at best.

    I'm positive this post will lead to more attacks, and more anger, but perhaps it will reach at least one person.
    You've reached many people.
    Nobody is attacking you, and nobody is angry.
    But I think you are resentful and your pride is injured, so maybe the best thing would actually be to stick around, not throw in the towel.
    If you want to leave (if indeed this is what you are saying) then that is your choice. Nobody is encouraging you, urging t=you or wanting you to do so.....
    is it your intention to leave?


  • Ada_BAda_B
    I come on here in spates and then disappear for a while, but never because I've been "attacked".

    As for being deluded, we're all deluded. It's one of the fundamental beliefs of Buddhism - part of the Four Nobel Truths.

    Maybe you'd find it easier to meet Buddhists in real life? Rather than online. I would strongly recommend it.

  • aHappyNihilistaHappyNihilist Veteran
    I think people debate here because it's a great place to talk. In real life I never talk to my friends about Buddhism I don't talk about serious things at all, I don't even know anyone in real life who is a Buddhist, so I come here and debate people, why not?
  • TheJourneyTheJourney
    I agree with you. I would have thought that a buddhist forum would be different. It really isn't, though. There are open-minded people on here, of course. But, as you say, there is so much needless negativity. The internet is beginning to bore me because of it. The internet is fun if you enjoy debating every point and arguing. I no longer enjoy that. I enjoy discussing from an equal footing. Not trying to convince anyone or be convinced, just share ideas. Sadly I have yet to find a place that is really like that. Like I said, i'm not saying everyone is like that, i'm just saying the vibe isn't one of overt acceptance.
  • Ficus_religiosaFicus_religiosa Veteran
    We are many and very different people from different traditions, backgrounds, countries, educations, ages - when someone asks for advice there's bound to be a lot of different opinions. If one comes here to hear his own opinion, be applauded for whatever idea he has or to get that piece of advice he wanted/expected and none else, well yes - this place may seem unfriendly.
    I think the whole world will.
    As federica truthfully said, being Buddhist doesn't mean to be a "yes-man" in every possible situation (even Buddha said "no" when enough was enough - like when the demon asked him to go in and out of the cave again and again).

    I realize that written words may seem harsher than they are meant, and I want to emphasize how this post is meant in the friendliest way a disagreement can be meant. I'm not angry, defensive or prideful - I simply wonder why some people think they will receive endless support from everyone, just because they visit a Buddhist forum.
  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    edited January 2011
    I've only been a part of this community for about a week, but I already grow weary of it.

    Everybody attacks one another.
    Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
    There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
    There is no compassion.

    I originally came here to share my wonderful experiences with similar open-minded individuals. I came here seeking guidance for my inner turmoil during an extremely dark night... and i came here to reflect ideas with others and gain new insights.

    Instead I've been told I'm delusional. I've been told I'm a liar. I've been told I'm not awake. I've been told that I should not be a Buddhist. I've been mocked for spelling mistakes. I've even been told that I'm a nihilist and my path is wrong.

    I'm in no position to judge anybody, but the atmosphere here is corrosive at best.

    I'm positive this post will lead to more attacks, and more anger, but perhaps it will reach at least one person.
    I can't imagine where you get this, Minty. Of all the threads on this site (do a scientific study), I'm sure it's just a small minority where hostility and/or rudeness appear. (Which, IMO, would still be too many, especially for a Buddhist site, but nobody's perfect.) I agree with you, it's rude to correct people's spelling mistakes, and I wish it would stop. (I've never seen a spelling correction that wasn't in error itself. If you're going to correct someone, people, at least know proper spelling and punctuation yourselves--just my 2 cents' worth.) Disagreeing is ok, so long as it's done respectfully. It IS possible to disagree respectfully.

    Actually, I think the site is less hostile and rude now than when I joined in November. Stick around, Minty; things will probably continue to improve.

  • buddhajunkiebuddhajunkie

    Everybody attacks one another.
    Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
    There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
    There is no compassion.
    As far as forums go, this forum is incredibly polite considering the differences in views and the passion that people have.
    Personally I think its refreshing that people aren't so afraid of seeming unfriendly that they never speak their heart if in disagreement..
    Yeah, I think people are actually a little too polite. I'd like to see a little more straight-forward debate.
  • RogerRoger
    edited January 2011
    I agree with you. I would have thought that a buddhist forum would be different. It really isn't, though. There are open-minded people on here, of course. But, as you say, there is so much needless negativity. The internet is beginning to bore me because of it. The internet is fun if you enjoy debating every point and arguing. I no longer enjoy that. I enjoy discussing from an equal footing. Not trying to convince anyone or be convinced, just share ideas. Sadly I have yet to find a place that is really like that. Like I said, i'm not saying everyone is like that, i'm just saying the vibe isn't one of overt acceptance.
    Maybe only people who have taken refuge and have a teacher should be invited to join.

    That way if anybody messes up they will have a convenient opportunity to get personal attention and get straightening out by their teacher.

    I can't imagine anybody in my sangha becoming hostile, discouraging and pissy (sorry, for the "p" word).

    How about this?

    NOW REQUIRED: say something genuinely supportive of the person you are responding to in every one of your posts!!! If it's not supportive and genuinely positive PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE resist the urge to hit the "save comment" button.

    Like probably lots of people I don't come here to get depressed! I'll deal with it if it happens but really!!!

    :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :):D:p :crazy: :nyah: :clap: :om: :thumbsup: :wow: :thumbup: :ninja: :rocker: :bowdown: :)
  • CloudCloud Veteran
    @Mintyfresh0, This is often how it ends when there's a question of attainment; we idealize what enlightened people are like, even in our traditional accounts, and so when someone comes along saying they've had such and such realization, they are challenged. It's unfortunate that it's like this. Anyone who has investigated beyond tradition knows that the awakening process is very often quite different than what we expect. Take "After the Ecstacy, the Laundry" by Jack Kornfield where the Dalai Lama and others were queried about their first awakening. They're all different! People can even awaken before getting into Buddhism, and then seek out Buddhism to help them understand what has happened to them.

    Don't lose hope. The forum isn't as bad as you think; you just started off with a very contentious subject. Had you known that people generally react this way, you may have either said it differently or not been so offended. This is the way it is with conditionality; and with wisdom. Good luck, whether you stay or go.

    Namaste
  • PilotPilot
    @minty

    Have you never been to an online forum before? There's always some members that try to create drama. Think nothing of it and remember why you are here in the first place (I'm guessing to improve your practice :D ?).
  • Mintyfresh0Mintyfresh0 Veteran
    edited January 2011
    I just expected more peace love and understanding for a Buddhist forum, that's all I guess. I've been part of many online forums, and I suppose I had high hopes for this one. I mean we are all aware that our egos make us blind, and I assume each person takes that into consideration before each post, but that is not always the case.

    Federica, you seem like a smart person and I don't want to be your enemy. Let's be friends lol.

    I realize I've arrived here with some radical claims of enlightenment, and each day I realize how much of a fool I was the day before, but that means there's growth happening and I like spiritual growth. Now I'm not even sure that I know what enlightenment is anymore, but my big breakthrough was complete and utter understanding of non duality. Foolishly, I assumed this was all there was to awakening, but now I know I must destroy everything false in my brain and get rid of the ego. There have been people here that have helped me very much, thickpaper for one, and I am very thankful for that.

    I don't know about others, but I learn much faster with kindness than hostility. I'm not searching for yes men, but I feel my progress is hindered if I must go on the defensive. Please continue to put me and others in our places if you feel we are completely wrong about something, but keep in mind that nothing is accomplished by making others angry or by putting them in a position where they feel they must defend their ideas. We are all of the same consciousness after all, and I am trying my hardest to treat others as if we were the same person.

    Please don't interpret this as if I were on some high horse. We are all on the same level, and I feel nothing but compassion and love for all of you.

  • johnsumnerjohnsumner
    Mintyfresh-

    "I'm not searching for yes men, but I feel my progress is hindered if I must go on the defensive.'

    Just from my perspective- it may be helpful to be mindful of what it is you're trying to 'defend'- the path to enlightenment and liberation is never easy, and we all suffer from delusion at times. Perhaps stating your point of view with no attachment to an outcome may help to overcome what you are feeling. We all have our different ideas and perspectives. On the Noble Eightfold Path "Right Speech" is usually defined as a blance--not unecessarily abrasive, but also not flowery and patronizing. It is what needs to be said, plain and simple.

    Namaste

  • sndymornsndymorn Veteran
    Sen

    Everybody attacks one another.
    Every thread turns into a fight over who is right and who is wrong.
    There is very little acceptance of new ideas.
    There is no compassion.

    These sentences are a nice comment on the human condition...

  • havamarhavamar
    MINTY! :D just send me a message when you get online next, welcome to the universe! (i joined this forum to get in touch with you)
This discussion has been closed.