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growing up is hard to do.
zombiegirl
beating the drum of the lifelessin a dry wasteland Veteran
hello all,
i am currently going through a very exciting and terrifying time in my life, lol. you see, i am 25 and have just quit one of my jobs in order to pursue a real career whose success and failure depends squarely on my shoulders. at times, i feel elated and very excited, but mostly, i feel panicked. i did not actually WANT to quit my other job, but they were not willing to work with my new availability so it was the only option left for me. the job i left was working in retail that involved an hourly pay rate (stable), the new job is working as a massage therapist which is unstable and depends on my clients. while the pay may fluctuate, i typically make 3-4 times as much per week working as a MT, so monetarily speaking, the choice was pretty clear for me.
what am i looking for here? i suppose, just some sort of advice on how to handle these fears. while i have been a registered massage therapist for 5 years, i have never solely depended on it for my income. a part of me is sad to realize that i am growing up, lol. i've been used to crappy jobs that didn't care if i called in or not and now i have to take my life so much more seriously. the only comforting thought i have is something my grandmother told me regarding her business endeavors, she said, "i've always lived by the belief that if you take care of the business, the business will take care of you." and in her case, it did.
i think that what i am finding here is that change is nearly as difficult for me as it is to actually believe that i can support myself. life just seems so much easier when you have someone else setting your shifts for you and telling you what to do. why is it that every morning i worked my retail job, i dreamed of calling in. and yet, now that it's gone, i long for its stability? i know i have made the right decision, but why does it seem so terrifying? surely someone can offer some sort of insight for this stepping stone in my life.
edit: this probably should have been in general banter, sorry mods!
i am currently going through a very exciting and terrifying time in my life, lol. you see, i am 25 and have just quit one of my jobs in order to pursue a real career whose success and failure depends squarely on my shoulders. at times, i feel elated and very excited, but mostly, i feel panicked. i did not actually WANT to quit my other job, but they were not willing to work with my new availability so it was the only option left for me. the job i left was working in retail that involved an hourly pay rate (stable), the new job is working as a massage therapist which is unstable and depends on my clients. while the pay may fluctuate, i typically make 3-4 times as much per week working as a MT, so monetarily speaking, the choice was pretty clear for me.
what am i looking for here? i suppose, just some sort of advice on how to handle these fears. while i have been a registered massage therapist for 5 years, i have never solely depended on it for my income. a part of me is sad to realize that i am growing up, lol. i've been used to crappy jobs that didn't care if i called in or not and now i have to take my life so much more seriously. the only comforting thought i have is something my grandmother told me regarding her business endeavors, she said, "i've always lived by the belief that if you take care of the business, the business will take care of you." and in her case, it did.
i think that what i am finding here is that change is nearly as difficult for me as it is to actually believe that i can support myself. life just seems so much easier when you have someone else setting your shifts for you and telling you what to do. why is it that every morning i worked my retail job, i dreamed of calling in. and yet, now that it's gone, i long for its stability? i know i have made the right decision, but why does it seem so terrifying? surely someone can offer some sort of insight for this stepping stone in my life.
edit: this probably should have been in general banter, sorry mods!
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Comments
I'd have to agree with your grandmother. If you're good at what you do and treat each client as a human being rather than a stream of income, you'll be fine. Seems like it's a word of mouth sort of business you're in, that can be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you go about it.
While you have this income stream, save up some 'screw you' money. Normally 'screw you' money is money you save up so that you don't have to be afraid of being fired or put up with workplaces which mistreat you. In your case it would be money that you have saved up so that you don't have to fear a shortage of clients.
If your fear is more-so about the 'next step', then that's just normal. You could channel it into excitement... the only people I know who claim to be happy with their jobs are those who work for themselves. You've got a good future ahead, I'd say.