Where'd my mojo go??

Mountains

Today is Martin Luther King Day in America, so (for the first time in my academic career) we had the day off before starting the new semester tomorrow. I've had four glorious weeks off after the hell that was last semester, including a splendiferous week in Belize lying on the beach and sipping rum punch and eating fresh seafood. So why am I positively DREADING tomorrow? I feel like a rabbit cornered by a dog. I'm ready to bolt. Two more years (very long or very sort, depending on how you look at it) until I graduate, but from my current vantage point, it seems endless and grueling. I've meditated and I've exercised, and I'm still a bundle of nerves. Don't feel like eating or doing much of anything else either.

Sigh...

upalabhava

OH YOU POOR THING! (re: Belize)

compassionate_warrior

Well, Mts, either you did a really good job of unwinding on the beach, or your value system has shifted, and you don't see the point of continuing your studies anymore. Anxiety is usually in the mind, maybe you'll feel better in a week or two. But what do you expect to do after you graduate? What will your degree get you? If you have a specific job/career in mind, focus on that; keep your eyes on the prize. If you don't have a goal in mind, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to re-examine where you're going in life, and what your alternatives may be. Either way, give yourself a few weeks after re-entry to see if there is, in fact, a problem.
Good luck.

Talisman

You went to Belize?
Luuckyyyyyy =P

I have spent the last 3.5 years of my life working crap jobs and scrounging together whatever money I can to support myself while trying my best to pay back my debt with my college so they will let me attend classes again. Stick it out and finish school. The juice will be worth the squeeze.

compassionate_warrior

Yes, in a down economy, staying in school is usually the best option. Wait out the downturn while acquiring a marketable degree. (Good point, Tal.)

Mountains

Thanks guys. I'm working on a master's degree and certification as a Nurse Anesthetist, so it's a virtually guaranteed job at the end. I guess it's just fear of the unknown at this point. I just feel like I'm a salmon coming up to the face of the dam and there's just no way I'm going to be able to jump high enough to get over it. But I suppose I will....

compassionate_warrior

"Fear of the unknown"? What unknown? If you can handle the science (which you've been doing the last 2+ years), you should be fine. And you have a guaranteed job at the end. You're in better shape than a lot of people.
Why was last semester hell, BTW? I take it that if you chose this path, it was because you had some gift for medicine/science. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. One day at a time. Best of luck. (Hanging out on the beach is great for destressing, but it doesn't pay the bills as a career choice. )

Mountains

=Hanging out on the beach is great for destressing, but it doesn't pay the bills as a career choice.

I know... I'm working on that at the moment. I'll let you know what I figure out

compassionate_warrior

Mts., I could say that if you like hanging out on the beach, find yourself a job at a resort in Belize. But how about a reality check? The global economy is in the pits. You're on a great career track with pretty much a guaranteed job for life, and a well-paying one at that. So, grit your teeth and do what you have to do. Just do it. Then once you get your degree and certificate, you can opt to take some time off to recover from the stress, and come back and get a job. You've made a great career choice, all you have to do is find the strength to stay with it. If you have any doubts, look at Sagat's "What are your thoughts about death" thread, at the end, where he despairs about not having any job or education prospects. It's sobering. Make a wrong decision, and you could be him. Count your blessings that you even have the option of doing an MA program. Sagat doesn't. He doesn't even have the option of getting a BA. Don't throw away the blessing you have. A depressed economy is ruthless. You need this education and the job.

PietroPumokin

eat some soup and beans

compassionate_warrior

How did you know what I'm having for dinner, Pietro?

DaltheJigsaw

Yes, in a down economy, staying in school is usually the best option. Wait out the downturn while acquiring a marketable degree. (Good point, Tal.)

You really think so?
I question it....
Will it really get better?
I guess it's probable, as it goes up and down...
But I am doing my BS in Psychology, then I am not sure.
If all goes well, Masters in English or Masters in Psychology, but not sure, as it is freaking expensive.
2 years will cost me 46,000...Transpersonal Psychology....
Thoughts?

DaltheJigsaw

Mts., I could say that if you like hanging out on the beach, find yourself a job at a resort in Belize. But how about a reality check? The global economy is in the pits. You're on a great career track with pretty much a guaranteed job for life, and a well-paying one at that. So, grit your teeth and do what you have to do. Just do it. Then once you get your degree and certificate, you can opt to take some time off to recover from the stress, and come back and get a job. You've made a great career choice, all you have to do is find the strength to stay with it. If you have any doubts, look at Sagat's "What are your thoughts about death" thread, at the end, where he despairs about not having any job or education prospects. It's sobering. Make a wrong decision, and you could be him. Count your blessings that you even have the option of doing an MA program. Sagat doesn't. He doesn't even have the option of getting a BA. Don't throw away the blessing you have. A depressed economy is ruthless. You need this education and the job.

Hey Compassion!
Do you have the link to that thread?
I cannot find it.
Thanks,
Leon

compassionate_warrior

It's the first one under "Members Only".

You raise a good question, "Will it (the economy) really get better?" Yes, education is expensive, but Mountains is studying to be an anesthetist, which is a really good bet, considering that healthcare is a rapidly growing industry, what with aging baby boomers, and all, so for him it doesn't matter if the economy improves. And I don't know if he's taking out loans, or has parental support. His degree sounds pretty foolproof. With you, it's a bit more of a risk. Psychology sounds more practical than English for an MA. Psychology could be pretty secure if you got a job at a university, as a staff psychologist to students. Going to school on loans is pretty intimidating, I admit.

update: I just found on another thread where Mountains says he's in his 40's, preparing for a career change. So maybe he has money saved up for his education, or is doing a combination of loans and his own money. At any rate, I don't think he'll have any trouble finding a job to pay off a loan, if he can make it through.

DaltheJigsaw

It's the first one under "Members Only".

You raise a good question, "Will it (the economy) really get better?" Yes, education is expensive, but Mountains is studying to be an anesthetist, which is a really good bet, considering that healthcare is a rapidly growing industry, what with aging baby boomers, and all, so for him it doesn't matter if the economy improves. And I don't know if he's taking out loans, or has parental support. His degree sounds pretty foolproof. With you, it's a bit more of a risk. Psychology sounds more practical than English for an MA. Psychology could be pretty secure if you got a job at a university, as a staff psychologist to students. Going to school on loans is pretty intimidating, I admit.

update: I just found on another thread where Mountains says he's in his 40's, preparing for a career change. So maybe he has money saved up for his education, or is doing a combination of loans and his own money. At any rate, I don't think he'll have any trouble finding a job to pay off a loan, if he can make it through.

Thank you!:)
Yea, I think Psychology would be great.
However, 46,000 in loans is bothering me.
It seems everyone is doing their masters in Psychology...
I want to do Freelance Writing or something like that with an English Degree...
Maybe write for an online magazine or online newspaper...

compassionate_warrior

Thank you!:)
Yea, I think Psychology would be great.
However, 46,000 in loans is bothering me.
It seems everyone is doing their masters in Psychology...
I want to do Freelance Writing or something like that with an English Degree...
Maybe write for an online magazine or online newspaper...

Is the $46,000 from your undergrad education? Or is that what an MA would cost? If you want to do freelance writing (not the best choice for repaying huge loans, I think), best to research it first. See if there's any info online about the profession, contact a few freelance writers and interview them about the profession. You want to find out how difficult it is to find regular paying gigs, how hard it is to pay the bills doing freelance. Have you tried to get any of your poetry published in a magazine? If not, take a look around at poetry mags, and other mags that might fit your themes; philosophy, maybe enviro, dharma, or whatever. Have someone proofread your work before you submit it. Good luck!

Barra

Don't know if your papers have been featuring this, but apparently studies show that the middle of January is the most depressing time for the majority of people. Its even called "Blue Monday". My son (age 25) is going through a major case of it (girlfriend left him, dead end job sucks) but interestingly, a number of local colleges etc are offering courses on how to change your life, and he's enrolled in a weekend course called "Shift Happens" (great title, eh?) at Royal Roads University. If you can afford to come up to Victoria British Columbia for the weekend on Feb. 12 & 13, you can take it too!!!

Mountains

Thanks for that Barra. If I could get there, I would - not likely to happen I'm afraid though.

pearl

Hang in there Mountains!
You'll be back in your groove in no time.
Sometimes thinking about all we need to do is actually rougher than just doing each task as it comes. I just try to put in a good effort each day, and make my peace with it!