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Understanding compassion
I have been reading a lot lately the teachings of the Dalai Lama, it is a very new area for me but one which has really struck a chord.
I am having issues with the central theme of compassion. I understand that showing compassion to others encourages a happier inner core etc.
Problem I have is, does compassion need to be bottomless? in that, there are times that I get frustrated, see red mist etc when driving, in stores shopping. I am teaching myself to show compassion to others when events occur but I see it is a weakness, not a strength. I end up coming across as a walkover, weakling and I am not sure if i am understanding compassion then way i should.
Like i said, I am really new to this so can anyone help me understand compassion better, or tell me what it is I am getting wrong.
I am having issues with the central theme of compassion. I understand that showing compassion to others encourages a happier inner core etc.
Problem I have is, does compassion need to be bottomless? in that, there are times that I get frustrated, see red mist etc when driving, in stores shopping. I am teaching myself to show compassion to others when events occur but I see it is a weakness, not a strength. I end up coming across as a walkover, weakling and I am not sure if i am understanding compassion then way i should.
Like i said, I am really new to this so can anyone help me understand compassion better, or tell me what it is I am getting wrong.
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Comments
compassion is non-harming
non-harming includes not harming oneself
i hope that helps somewhat
Buddha teachings show that all is part of the same thing, so harming another is the same as harming yourself and harming yet another. But in this case it doesn't seem so. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be any way out except harming one party (oneself, another or yet another). And when you choose to harm oneself you get that feeling that t4nk described, that you're a bit of a walkover.
For example, we see a child fall into a dangerous river and must decide whether to dive in to try to save the child.
Recently, in Australia, a cocaine/speed girl was being assaulted by her bikie boyfriend/drug supply outside a nightclub in the morning. An early morning jogger (husband & father of two) tried to help her and was shot dead in cold blood by the bikie.
Like sometimes, in families or especially in the work place, we must stand up for ourselves. This may cause a little friction at first but in the end it benefits all if we learn how to communicate & negotiate clearly.
In Buddha I wanted to belief that in order to know our own Buddha , we must bring out all our sincere love to all ( living and non-living ) , love iin Buddha is UN-CONDITIONAL just like helping a baby birds into her nest but we dont keep them as pets ...
Sincerely showing , sharing , giving and accepting love is first step to fell Buddha ... we have to "keep our soul account closed" each second of our life by giving our atmost afford , love to all and when we die or someone we care dies we will hv no regret ......no karma , this process of purification will continue untill we hv no bad action or karma in us ... and our soul will be empty but fill with pure / unpolluted energy of love... thats is Buddha .
Thks
Ee
Patience,compassion and loving kindness are important for the wellbeing of self and others and we can do various practices to strengthen them, such as metta meditation and contemplating the Brahma Viharas (see link below)
http://www.buddhanet.net/metta.htm
However, compassion doesn't necessarily mean enabling the ill will of others, so we need some discriminating wisdom too.
I not yet reach that stage or close to that pure energy of Buddha but I will try .
Issues like this is what holds me back, coming from a muslim background, there are strict rules that conflict with a western lifestyle thus resulting in alienation. Whereas bhuddism allows for flexibility and has room for common sense.
Buddha is not a religion for me I wanted to belief long-long time ago , human need a system to guide/control bad action... that is the time of religion , after religion era is civil law , we now are in this awareness but I belief in the future there will be no civil law as human already understand to care for all...this understanding is closer to Buddha energy .
All religion mention abt a super force.... maybe we are all talk abt same energy but only different name . Siddharta found ...let say more easy way to understand but since very early age I am very dissapointed with the way Buddha was introduced especially by monk claimed to be Master of Buddha teaching . In Buddha teaching does not axist..... we all hv to understand and learn from each other living or non-living . We should learn even from the smallest virus... still they also hv Buddha for us to learn.
ThksEe
example 2: establishing good boundaries for ourselves is skillful and ultimately compassionate toward those around us.
By not letting anger take over over your mindfulness at that time. For example, when a person on the road simply refuses to let you overtake, be compassionate to him because he might be consumed with anger or jealousy to think properly. And you are mindful not not to let your anger take over you, even though you are dying to kill him. Observe the anger and let it go immediately. That way you are practicing compassion to both yourself and the prick in front of you.
For example if you drive and car infront of you dont let you overtake, in life I will be mad but if I think of Buddha energy I have to forgive him as he still do not reach to my awareness , he still does not understand Buddha . In Buddha we must show him sincere love to him help him to move to higher wisdom.
"Not harming oneself" physically is doable, however "not harming oneself" mentally is difficult for me these days, as my largest struggle deals with attachment. I am a very loving person. I love animals, people, culture, technology, and the list goes on and on and on but i take it personally when people don't show compassion to others, thus i struggle with showing compassion to them. I find myself to be attached to easily to people, and when i see they (or I for that matter) are treated unfairly, or without compassion, I tend to lose it.
Let me clarify by stating in NO way am I an abusive person, however I am undeniably outspoken. I speak my mind, and my beliefs when I am asked, and unfortunately this sometimes gets me into trouble. Why do I have to feel bad for "sticking up" for people who don't deserve to be treated unfairly? I dont know, but i do, and its making me kind of insane.
Any feedback on the topic of this thread is greatly appreciated, especially when it comes to advise on how i can maintain showing compassion to those who may not deserve it.
In life we all makes mistake for having personal view of right and wrong , in Buddha right and wrong DOES NOT axist....is equal for all no one (living or non-living) deserve the right for more or less treatment ....is equal to all.
for the"kind of people" you mention......show them your awareness of Buddha , continue give them sincere love no matter how , share sincere love and accept love ......one day you will move higher awareness and hopefully they will too
yes is easy to say that sometime maybe I will not have the awareness to control if someone hurt my feeling ...but that is me ok...I am not fully awake....still long way to go...hv to undergo many purification process....ok....but In Buddha I know how to act....in life I know I need to change and focus on Buddha...
4. "He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me", in those who do not harbour such thoughts hatred is appeased.
Hatreds never cease by hatred in this world; by love alone they cease. This is an ancient Law.[/Quote]
Dhammapada - The Twin Verses 3, 4 & 5
I think if you are able to voice out your concerns in a way that it is most efficient, yet not hurt their feelings, that is compassion. Compassion does not mean letting people demand for a yard when you give them an inch.
So can you understand how I feel? I had helps her even I have no money to pay my bill . But for this case since I understand Buddha that we must treat all equally no matter how they treat us ....show love equally even to our enemy ...love is Un-conditional , no expectation in buddha just like helping a baby birds back into her nest without keep them as pets ....The fact is I easily smile and forgive her . she maybe is not in the same level of my awareness and need to move further.....
So I know is hard ...but trust me we cant do what they do to us ...In Buddha I cant kill simply because the robber kills my daughter eventhough in life I will kill them with my own hand...but we must understand what is Buddha .
So this purification process will continue untill we fully awake ....
In Buddha in your case you must continue show your atmost sincere love , share your awareness /love and accepting love from them......hopefully if not surely one day they will receive and learn from your Buddha energy and give love to you.
It makes little or no sense to discuss compassion or to contemplate actions which may or may not be compassionate unless the mind is compassionate first. Hence the meditative practice of metta.
As a general rule, I try to hold in mind, particularly when the little annoyances of driving or the supermarket check-out queue arise, that whatever I do to others, I am doing to the whole world, including myself.
No instruction is more difficult than to love our enemies (although loving our own family can be pretty hard at times LOL) but it is one of the common planks between various spiritual disciplines.
After all that said, just like any other religion or practice, these are challenges we will continue to face. The good thing, is we all have each other to vent to, and ask for guidance. There is no doubt in my mind that we're going to have struggles with issues like these every so often, all we can do is talk about it, and practice the best we can
too cheesy? haha...
It can be added that there is a dream that night, in the story, where the Christ is seen showing the half-cloak to the angels and praising the action, saying "Here is Martin, the Roman soldier who is not baptised; he has clad me." (Thanks, Wikip. for the quote) but it could just as well have been the Buddha Shakyamuni addressing the assembled devas and bodhisattvas with similar words.
It may also be noted that this compassionate action is undertaken by one who is studying the Way but has not yet been baptised/taken refuge.
Compassion transcends -isms and -anities and underpins them at their heart, immanent and transcendent, wave and particle, simultaneously.
Not quite a Roman soldier, although the armour is quite gorgeous, isn't it, and those El Greco faces and hands. My statue of Kwan Yin has hands like that.