Language?

maoko

Hi I am new to buddhism and still learning things. I was wondering, I play a computer game online with friends and games tend to get you frustrated and angry when people can't do things right. I don't swear to them but i do abuse them by calling them bad.. Is it wrong to be doing this? am i bad for getting mad and letting my anger infuriate me into a rage? or am i bad for abusing the other people? also is it wrong to swear? i cant find a straight answer. its a battle of they are just words and buddha said right speech. please help

mugzy

I don't think you're bad, but your behavior is definitely hurtful. Everyone gets angry, but we can learn not to let our anger control us.

In your example the fact is that it's just a game - it's supposed to be fun, not serious, so if you're getting frustrated to the point of berating others then that's something you may want to examine. Not everyone is at the same skill level as you, and I'm sure there was a point where you weren't good at something either. Try to keep this in mind when you feel angry at other players.

Arahahahant

Swearing is really only a bad thing if it causes harm. I've heard monks use "shit" in telling jokes, anger is the real problem. Consider not just the harm you can do to others, which isn't really that significant over the internet, but the harm you do to yourself. Find out why you are angry, focus on not becoming angry in the first place.

maoko

so your saying it is alright to swear but wearing at others to hurt them is wrong? yeah i think i do need to control my anger..

Roger

Swearing reduces feelings of pain and gives you a shot of adrenaline. It's addictive. It should only be used in a pinch: i.e rarely. It's also a form of assault. It works on different part of the brain that other words do. Need proof? Tourette's is one piece of evidence. Also, try calling somebody a son of a buffalo instead (doesn't quite work). I hate it when other people swear it truly bothers me (seriously) but I don't mind when I swear. See? It's a fucked up way of expressing oneself and only people acting like assholes do it.

( )

maoko

So using swear words not aiming at people isn't really a bad thing? and won't result in bad karma?
I think about it alot and i miss being able to swear. Since im a gamer and gamers swear alot. theres alot of funny stuff that involve swearing.. so i feel like im being restricted in that sence.. let me know what you think?

dorje

If the people you are with know that you are swearing not because are angry at them but because you are being a part of them, i don't see why it's going to result in bad karma.

Supertramp

I used to play online games a lot and was the same way, now I still play but not as much. I'm of the opinion that you should behave in the same way online as if you would behave in life. I do understand how games can be frustrating though. Last night I tried enchanting an item I have and it just didn't work, I spent a lot of kinah/gold/whatever on it and it didn't work. I felt frustrated and turned the game off, only when it was off I realised how silly it is to feel frustrated about such a thing. Mindfulness in a game is hard.
For people that don't play games, you can compare it to driving a car. It's also harder to be mindful when driving a car than when walking on foot, in my experience.

[DeletedUser]

So using swear words not aiming at people isn't really a bad thing? and won't result in bad karma?
I think about it alot and i miss being able to swear. Since im a gamer and gamers swear alot. theres alot of funny stuff that involve swearing.. so i feel like im being restricted in that sence.. let me know what you think?

Swearing to an object that has no feelings and very lovely. Something must be amiss! For in this case, gaming machine may be your entry qualification to the land of ultimate hell if not handle appropriately!

mugzy

:eek2:

DaltheJigsaw

Great thread!

Roger

Great thread!

You're g*d damn effn right it is you son of a beeotch!

(kidding)

Bodhgaya

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.

Realise it's a game, so nothing to get too angry over, to insult someone over. Trust me- I have that problem when it comes to video games too.
It can be pretty difficult, so it may take time.

Good luck, metta.

zombiegirl

Hi I am new to buddhism and still learning things. I was wondering, I play a computer game online with friends and games tend to get you frustrated and angry when people can't do things right. I don't swear to them but i do abuse them by calling them bad.. Is it wrong to be doing this? am i bad for getting mad and letting my anger infuriate me into a rage? or am i bad for abusing the other people? also is it wrong to swear? i cant find a straight answer. its a battle of they are just words and buddha said right speech. please help

it can be very hard to detach from a game, but it can be an excellent place to improve your practice. i used to be quite into a certain mmorpg, but once i started studying buddhism more seriously, i no longer felt right about killing other characters because i know how upset i would get when i would die. i eventually created a new character that was a cleric, so now i just heal and buff other characters.
my guess would be that you are probably playing something along the lines of a first person shooter, am i right? this can be more difficult because you can't NOT kill players, lol. as others have said, the best you can do is try to detach yourself from the game so it doesn't bother you as much.

as far as swearing, i would just try to make sure you're not swearing AT people. imo, if everyone you associate with swears as well, then the words themselves are not causing suffering... but i'm sure it will still hurt some feelings if they are directed at a person.
try this, instead of criticizing people and telling them when they messed up (which i'm sure they're aware of), try giving them helpful feedback instead.

instead of, "dude, you a**hole! where were you? i just got slaughtered!"
try, "hey man, i just got slaughtered. could you try and have my back next time?"

also try and consider that some of their faults might actually be your own. for example, i'm still running with the first person shooter idea... but say you were ambushed and died. instead of yelling at your team members and saying, "where were you!?" consider for a second that maybe you ran off by yourself and it's actually your fault you died. of course no one wants to die, so just try and remember that everyone is playing to the best of their ability.