True Love And Illusion

Dakini

Is there such a thing as True Love? Is it just a figment of our (and the film industry's) imagination? Is it all in the mind? Is it in the heart? Is it a synonym for "attachment", or is it much more? Is it attainable? Is it sustainable, if attained? What is it?

robot

Beats me. Anytime I thought I was in love the attachment was pretty bad. Its probably out there somewhere. I don't think I have ever met someone who was romantically in love who didn't suffer at some point.

Dakini

Every once in awhile, I read about an elderly couple who were high school sweethearts, and are still madly in love. How do they DO that?! It must be rare, like a once-in-a-lifetime sighting of a yellow-billed, red-throated warbler, or something.

kayte

First off, I've been married to my husband for almost 30yrs. I can say that the love that I feel for him is different than the love that I though I felt for others. We can feel infatuation, strong attraction, attachment, and other emotions that we mistake for true love. True love is not fleeting and will see people through the worst of times. Perhaps true love is not a single emotion, but more of a blend of positive character traits. I love, respect, and admire my husband because I think that he's an exceptional man of excellent character. We're both flawed human beings who have helped each other evolve.

I think that too much emphasis is placed on romance. Romance is sweet, but it won't be enough to see you through the challenges in a relationship. Our culture glamorizes an unrealistic ideal. Some people are heavily influenced and search for something that doesn't exist outside of the movies.

If you are well grounded and have realistic standards for yourself, it will help you seek out a suitable partner. No one is perfect, but the right attitude and willingness to listen can make for a great relationship.

Cloud

I think Jerry Maguire had it right. True love is finding someone that completes you; more accurately, makes you feel "whole".

[DeletedUser]

Beats me. Anytime I thought I was in love the attachment was pretty bad. Its probably out there somewhere. I don't think I have ever met someone who was romantically in love who didn't suffer at some point.

You are sad,


love nutures and makes you feel "whole".


When you are ill,


He is there to care you, and makes you feel "whole".


If there is this urge in you,


it is realized, and makes you feel "whole".


On your last breath,


to attain bodhi, and makes you feel "whole".

robot

That is one jolly little poem. Don't really get it though. I really never felt "whole" until I achieved self sufficiency and the ability to look after all aspects of my life. And to spend a week or two at sea alone. If anything, relationship stunted my "wholeness". That isn't to say that I would not give it another try if a suitable opportunity presented itself.

federica

I think Jerry Maguire had it right. True love is finding someone that completes you; more accurately, makes you feel "whole".

That's the biggest load of sentimental romantic BS/tosh I've ever heard.

kayte

That's the biggest load of sentimental romantic BS/tosh I've ever heard.

TheJourney

Love is bad bro

Floating_Abu

Joshu Sasaki Roshi teaces about true love but maybe it ain't easy

being

I propose true love is something we can or not feel for all beings. Anything extra arises out of attachment, desire or delusions.

compassionate_warrior

I really never felt "whole" until I achieved self sufficiency and the ability to look after all aspects of my life. And to spend a week or two at sea alone.

Now you're talking! I think it's a mistake to look to someone else to "complete" you. That's coming to a relationship from a position of neediness. Only you can complete you.

TheJourney

I see myself in others...so it's easy to love...

zombiegirl

i don't think i found true love until i did some work on myself first. i now find myself in a wonderful relationship where we rarely fight and if we do, we DISCUSS our issues and work on things like adults. it might not sound like a whole lot, but we've been together for over three years now (over two of which, living together) and we still find it hard to spend a night apart. we're kind of sickening... i think, lol. but we have so much fun together!

i've had my share of bad relationships and i honestly think the only thing i did differently with this one was that we were friends first. i actually ended up dating someone that i liked enough to just be FRIENDS with. some of my exes are not people i actually liked once i really got to know them. but sometimes that gets all muddled up when you add in sex appeal.

i don't think you need anyone to "complete" you. what you need is to know and love yourself so you can know and love another.

TheJourney

^Exactly! Knowing and loving yourself is key.

Dakini

They say "friends first" is the best way. Great observations, ZG, and kayte, too, thanks.

i've had my share of bad relationships and i honestly think the only thing i did differently with this one was that we were friends first. i actually ended up dating someone that i liked enough to just be FRIENDS with. some of my exes are not people i actually liked once i really got to know them. but sometimes that gets all muddled up when you add in sex appeal.

i don't think you need anyone to "complete" you. what you need is to know and love yourself so you can know and love another.

Vincenzi

yes, it exists... I (and many others) call it maitri/metta.