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Good or Bad? Results or Self

JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
edited January 2011 in Buddhism Basics
I just realized something about how I think. I always think I have to do something because if I don't 'it' or 'I' am good or bad.

For example I think I have to deposit my check today because if I don't 'I' have failed to do something.

But it has become disconnected from an idea of consequences. I just realized that I don't have to deposit the check! But the consequence is that if I want to buy groceries and the bank is closed I cannot do that without money in my account.

It is so much a pattern with me. I think of myself as good or bad rather than think of the reality of cause and effect. I think this has to do with a wrong view of Self and an ignorance of karma on my part. I understand these things on paper, but in practice I have totally delusional. Is anyone else like this? Maybe it will help me to realize this? Anyone have any thoughts?

Comments

  • robotrobot Veteran
    I think that I go through the motions of keeping things together. Paying bills, depositing checks, doing laundry and all the rest in order to have a life that is not disrupted by chaos. To have a certain degree of impeccability. All the while my thoughts are telling me all sorts of crap about what a together guy I am or what a loser I am. Mostly I try to ignore it and keep doing what works.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    What did you mean when you said to have impeccability?

    One thing about me is that I have had a mental illness which disrupted my ability to do many things. So it almost pulled me out of some routines kind of like lowered the bar. In a sense I have a different confident, expectation and so forth.

    And I am left with all these assumptions about how I should be. I should be married with kids with a job. I should be an intellectual putting to work my education. I should have all my ducks in a row and a lot of energy confidence and so forth.

    So its a process of adjustment. But I had just noticed that it is kind of weird how I think about things. Like 'good' or 'bad' disconnected from WHY they are good or bad. In a sense I am not questioning things. As one on the forum would say I am not doubting things.
  • TheJourneyTheJourney
    It depends on where you are spiritually. I have dropped all notions of good and bad, personally. I just try to do what I consider to be the right thing in any given situation. All you have to rely on is you, so follow yourself. You're not "bad" for doing or not doing anything. It's just about doing what you want and think is best.
  • formermonkJohnformermonkJohn
    theres good and theres bad and then theres neutral, neither good nor bad, not depositing your check is not bad, its just not sensible as you want to have access to the money for food, not having money does not make you bad, literally starving doesnt make you bad, its just really annoying, i think you need to differentiate between what the buddha says is bad, for instance breaking the 5 precepts, and what you and society consider is bad, which is half of everthing, being poor isnt bad, not brushing your teeth isnt bad, failing in school isnt bad,the buddha allows all kinds of "bad" behaviour by societies standards, dropping out of medical school and becoming a monk is "bad" by societies standards, so is not making a lot of money, so is being unwilling to take advantage of people to get by, societies standards and our lord buddhas standards are diametrically opposed, society calls the buddhas standard bad, and the buddha definetly labels most of societies standards as bad, choose for yourself but i choose to follow the buddha and ignore society.
  • robotrobot Veteran
    What I meant was that I have a degree of order to my life, that works for me. I can depend on my routines to keep my life on track even if my mind is spinning out of control which it is inclined to do now and then. I would not try to sell my lifestyle as the way that anyone else should live.
  • formermonkJohnformermonkJohn
    edited January 2011
    thats good robot, i was trying to help jefferey as someone with an illness like mine thinking so much of what they do is "bad", and attest that following the BUddhas good is much easier than following societys "good", sincerely John
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