Thoughts on how to deal with someone

Mountains

I'm looking for thoughts on how to deal with this situation. I'm currently in a student role in the medical field. A big part of the training is clinical, where one is actually in the hospital doing the job under the tutelage of someone who has been through the same type training and is certified in the job. One particular person who is a clinical instructor, not to put too fine a point on it, is a real *********. He seems to have a chip on his shoulder about who knows what, but it comes out as being extremely and unreasonably hard on students. My group has just started clincial training, so we're essentially starting from ground level in our knowledge. This gentleman seems to think that students can and should be expected to have all the knowledge needed to do the job from day one. Not sure what the learning process means to him. He berates students for not knowing what he thinks they should know, and has acted inappropriately (to my mind) by doing performance assessments in a room full of people, and berating a student for doing *precisely* what he had instructed him to do, in the *precise* way he had instructed him to do it.

I have not had the 'pleasure' of working with this gentleman as yet, but I undoubtedly will. Our clinical supervisors have told us that this is "just the way some people are" and that we should just let it "roll off our backs". That's fine, and I fully appreciate that different people have different styles of teaching. There may even be some value in being a hard-ass teacher. But this guy seems to have a knack for making every student who is with him feel about a half inch tall. And I'm not sure what the reason is, nor what the value is in it.

In the position I'm in, to say anything would be to risk either "getting a reputation" or possibly even being dismissed from the program, and yet I don't feel like either myself or anyone else should have to put up with this kind of nonsenese behavior by someone who is supposed to be a professional in the field.

By nature I'm the kind of person who bucks at this type of ego driven behavior. I recognize that that's what it is, but that doesn't make it any easier to live with for me many times. I'm trying to be as humble as possible, since I am the student here, and I recognize and appreciate that at this point I do literally know almost nothing and have a LOT to learn. But to me, this style is not the way for anyone to teach anything to anyone.

Thoughts on how to deal with this are appreciated...

TheFound

he is after all an equal. never let him forget that and dont give him reason to think otherwise, u might become the star

dorje

Expect the unexpected. When he explains how to do something, yo jot it down. Then when he asks you to do it, you say it out loud while you're doing it exactly according to how he said it. That way when he finds fault, you kindly explain to him that was how he taught you, and you have the proof by the notes you take.

TheFound

he's there to teach you? it's likely he was good academically. Take what he has and beat him..it'd be great for him if he could get a student like that

Mountains

I'm not looking to become a "star". I just want to learn what I'm there to learn and gain experience so as to become the best practitioner I can be. It would be nice if I had time to write down everything (I've thought of that), but things tend to move very fast in my world. You hardly have time to think, much less write.

dorje

Then you take a voice recorder with you. You play it back in front of him and you follow it to the letter.

havamar

Do the best you can. A mp3/sound recorder may help you with revision in private. Listen carefully to all he has to say and retain the jewels. The rest, let blow away in the wind like dust. Words cannot hurt you, only your reaction to them. Let it go.

Dakini

Lots of varied advice to choose from, Mountains. I would say, expect that he's going to be on your case, and be prepared to show respect, show your appreciation for his superior knowledge, do whatever he says,and as others have suggested, take notes or tape record, when he gets on your case for supposedly not following his instruction to the letter with "t"s crossed, etc., just say, "you're right sir, I'll get it right next time, sir" (or doctor, or whatever the title is), and just keep that stuff up, but without overdoing it, or the other students might think you're toadying to him. (What else can one do, in such a situation?) And if he snaps back at you, just let it roll off your back. Knowing what to expect, you can let it slide.

No, it's not a good way for anyone to teach anyone, nor is it a way to be a good human being, but apparently he doesn't care, and you'll be stuck with him at some point, unless you're really lucky. Mostly, don't let yourself tense up around him, or your job performance will be even worse, and you'll be a wreck at the end of the day. (Maintain your meditation practice--the relaxation response--during this crucial time.:) ) You can only do the best you can do, and if that's not good enough for him, too bad for him. At least you'll know you've done your best. Try to view him compassionately--he's trapped in the whole authority-and-status thing, which is a delusion. Mabye that'll help you relax. And be grateful you don't have him every day, or even every week! There's always something to be grateful for! Plus, (speaking of the gratitude dept.), you have all of us, rooting for you! :clap: :clap: :rocker: :clap:

Mountains

Thanks Dakini I'm sure part of it on my part is me being older and most of our clinical instructors being younger. I respect their superior knowledge and experience however, but sometimes it does stick in the craw when someone young enough to be my kid gets off on trying to make me feel like a dope

Dakini

oooooohhhh, I get that! They shouldn't be doing that, but for now, youi're just going to have to bite the bullet and do what you have to do to survive. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, and be mindful of that resentment; let it go. it won't help you. FYI, I've run into a lot of guys just out of college (one hadn't even graduated yet) and they're telling me how to go about my business, trying to tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, etc. (I have extensive training in my sub-field, experience plus I'm twice their age) they just happen to have political differences with what I do. So I know how you feel, I think, though the situations are somewhat different.

Maybe we can start a thread on why so many young guys (STILL, in the 21st Century!!) are so arrogant. Is this something the culture does to them? Why aren't their parents raising them with some humility? Do you have a clue, Mts? Do you have kids?

Mountains

I don't have kids. Much of it is cultural I'm sure. Part of it (in this case I think) is professional. This profession is a very independent, low or no supervision, highly responsible, highly technical side of things. I used to be in the aviation industry, and you found similar personality types there as well. They thought they were god's gift to aviation and they knew everything there was to know about everything. Actually, now that I think about it, I had a flight instructor who was every inch exactly like the person I'm talking about here. I took exactly one flight with the man. Unfortunately in that case I had the ability to go to the head flight instructor and simply say I wasn't going to fly with this bozo anymore. I don't have that luxury in this case. I'm stuck with him when I get him.

This isn't a problem just with "young guys". People have always been this way. What I don't get is people who are this way who work in "caring" professions like medicine. I've had rows with physicians several times over their utter disregard for the safety and well being of their patients who were under my care. Some people just don't get it I guess

Dakini

. What I don't get is people who are this way who work in "caring" professions like medicine. I've had rows with physicians several times over their utter disregard for the safety and well being of their patients who were under my care. Some people just don't get it I guess

Well, from what I've heard, a lot of people go into medicine for the money, sort of the profession's dirty secret. Even some docs have told me that for many, it's not about the "caring profession". Kinda scary, no? (Not to mention, outrageous--what you describe; disregard for safety and well-being. Yikes! ) Good for you, though, for standing up to the docs. Stick with your values. :thumbsup:

(Where do you live, anyway? If I ever need an anesthetist, I'll call you. )

Mountains

Thanks Give me a few years to get my feet on the ground first though!