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women + sorry

sadsoulsadsoul
edited February 2011 in General Banter
I had an argument with this girl at work a few months back. I feel bad so I'm going to apologise. But i feel she is soo stubborn she's not worth an apology. I'm certain she thinks I'm soley to blame. I feel we were both out of line. Should I ignore her or apologise?

Comments

  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    If you think there was some wrong doing on your part, then apologize for that and move on.
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    Is it different because she's a girl?
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    what....??
  • shanyinshanyin Novice Yogin Sault Ontario Veteran
    LOL
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    The title ot the thread is "women + sorry".
    Why not just "sorry".
  • mugzymugzy Veteran
    edited February 2011
    You feel bad and want to apologize, but don't believe she deserves an apology? If so then your apology would not be very sincere. You may feel you were both out of line, but you cannot control how she thinks or feels. You can only correct your own actions and behavior.

    Try to consider things from her point of view, and see that she is like you in that she just wants to be happy and free from suffering. If she is a coworker then it is probably in your best interest to resolve any conflicts in order to promote a harmonious work environment.
  • beingbeing Veteran
    edited February 2011
    So you want to apologize to make yourself feel better, but at the same time don't think she's worth the apology? So it's not really about her at all, but you wanting to feel good?

    I think if you feel, that you were out of line, you could apologize for what you did, without any expectations of her apologizing to you, while acknowledging, that if you had controlled yourself, this would not have happened. Not to feel guilty, but to see things, as they are.

    edit:
    and what mugzy said can be very helpful and important also:
    Try to consider things from her point of view, and see that she is like you in that she just wants to be happy and free from suffering.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    The title ot the thread is "women + sorry".
    Why not just "sorry".
    Oh, Ok, take your point.
    I missed the 'women' bit, somehow....

    I agree with mugzy here....

  • CloudCloud Veteran
    edited February 2011
    He wants to apologize for what he did, which he considers to be where half of the blame lies, while she thinks it's all his fault. So if he apologizes, it's like he's admitting it was all his fault... guys don't like to do that. I wouldn't want to do that. I understand the predicament. :)

    @sadsoul, Maybe just make sure your wording makes it clear, i.e. "I'd like to apologize for my part in our argument..." and so on.
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Whenever I used to apologise to my daughters for losing my temper, I'd say,
    "I'm really sorry I lost my temper, and how I said things, but not for what I said. My manner was wrong, but I think my motive was justified."

    Of course, if I cocked-up big time, I'd grovel..... :D
  • zenffzenff Veteran
    edited February 2011
    This argument was months ago!
    If it was with a guy, you wouldn’t even remember it.
    Nor would he.

    There is definitely something hormonal going on between you and the girl.

    :rolleyes:
  • VincenziVincenzi Veteran
    write a letter... exposing your arguments and apologizing.
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