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mindfullness meditation - unlocking bad memories!

lightlotuslightlotus
edited February 2011 in Meditation
I'm really puzzled with what I'm uncovering during mindfullness meditation. Its like before I had the odd thing I blurted out during or after a meditation which made me thinking where did that come from now its the opposite its like a full on unlocking a deep unhappy memory! I'm remebering stuff that I thought I dealt with at the time and got over.

Its like I'm remebering stuff from my childhood which are surprising me. See I thought it would be a case of me using meditation to deal with the stress of my past few years and a way of staying positive - but I'm unlocking more nasty stuff! What do you do to overcome this when it happens to you? (If it has happened that is!)

Help I'm reversing my own meditation and yoga bliss!!

Light lotus

Comments

  • compassionate_warriorcompassionate_warrior Veteran
    You may have unresolved trauma from the past. An easy and effective way to clear that is through acupuncture, a treatment called 7 Dragons. The acupuncture points correspond not only to internal organs but to emotions; a good acupuncturist can be very effective in helping clear old emotional "stuff" out of the system. Not all acupuncturists know this procedure though; it's an old Taoist treatment more commonly taught in acupuncture schools in Taiwan and Hong Kong.
  • lightlotuslightlotus
    See the thing is first few months it was bliss as it was all positive now im a bit surprised as the negative stuff is appearing. I'll start having a look online now as i was thinking to try out accupunture. Thanks :)
  • bukowskibukowski
    Hi lightlotus.

    i'm not sure what you mean by mindfullness meditation, but if you are talking about shikantaza, then it would be a good idea to sit with a teacher, or at least a group who sit together regularly. Of course you may already do this. A teacher may be able to help you with some of the issues you speak of. It's important to be aware that in general, bliss is not the ambition of any form of buddhist meditation that i am aware of, although it may be a bye product from time to time. Either way, if your meditation is having a negative impact upon you emotionally, then i would advise that you stop, at least until you have sought advice regarding the issue you speak of, with a therapist, counsellor or similar professional. Also perhaps talk to someone who can help you with your meditation practice.

    I hope that is of some help. Metta, bukowski.
  • MystificationMystification
    These are not new thoughts. You are simply becoming aware of what was already there. Don't attach with the negative thoughts! You don't want to attach to anything, letalone negativity. So, observe the thoughts. Don't attach to them. And let them pass. Sure, you may be thinking sad thoughts, but you don't have to be sad.
  • revkusalarevkusala
    Hi Lightlotus, this is a predictably normal experience for the serious practitioner. Many things become buried in our consciousness, and part of finding true mental liberation is seeing these painful formations in order to see the four noble truths, there is stress, it's origin, cessation, and thankfully, a PATH to cessation of it! Be kind to yourself when encountering this "pain body" it did not get there overnight. recognize formations as temporal, not a permanent "self" and that like all conditioned things, when the supporting causes are uprooted they will dissolve. It would not hurt in some cases where mental issues are very strong, complex and otherwise intractable, find a teacher, counselor or other reliable figure in your life to help you talk it through.in addition to your meditation practice. best wishes
  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    edited February 2011
    You let them all come out and be rid of them once and for all. They are not being "resurrected", so to speak. They are simply being "unrepressed" or uncovered, which is a good thing. Meditation is sometimes like opening a locked closet, that you threw stinky garbage into 10 years ago. Of course for the past 10 years you really could not smell it so it did not cause many issues, because it was locked in the closet. Opening the closet causes your whole house to smell much worse, temporarily, than it did before. But once the garbage is out by the side of the road, it is gone and gone for good. Right now you are in the process, as are most of us, of removing the stinky garbage from the closet and transporting it to the side of the road. After it is at the side of the road and you come back in the house, everything will be peachy clean with no more stink anywhere. Who wants to live in a house that has closets full of stinky garbage? :)
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    Just let your memories be. Don't try to get rid of them. Don't try to keep them. Just watch them and they will go away on their own. When you don't pull or push, where do you stand?
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    I think possibly the OP's meditation practice has stimulated a healing process, bringing up old issues that need to be resolved. This sounds like a blessing in disguise. View it as an opportunity. (Think about how many people pay mental health professionals thousands of dollars to uncover memories and issues you've discovered on your own through meditation! ;) )
  • lightlotuslightlotus
    edited February 2011
    Its more like unlocking emotions - basically its sort of linked to a sequence of events that are happening irrespecitve of the meditation and its like the issues are coming out via meditation. Example: if have a very irrating sister who is forever in need of support she has been irrating me since christmas - during the day i let it go take it easy with a pinch of salt and remeber she is just one of those people who are needy and demanding (she's much older but for some reason has no coping skills) besides its only a phone call. 2 years ago my uncle died after having a serise of strokes and had a painful death - My parents were out of the country at the time of his funeral and this sister made an excuse to not attend so I was alone attending the funeral. Anyway at the funeral they had an open coffin and I stupidly went over to look at him (i'd never seen a dead body until then) During Meditation I just remebered his face and this overwheamly fear at how different he looked (he was buried quiet a few weeks after I'd left him at the hospital so he wasnt the man i knew) and this sense of being totally alone when i desperatly needed my sister as I was actually scared and angry for being left alone to go.

    Now I have awaken this anger with her - this is like 2 years ago that I just let it go now its like she can moan about something silly like of rubbish english weather, and im ready to have a go at her and rip her to shreads! LOL :D
    Its other stuff too, like im listening to radio in shop and this song comes on the radio and I clearly remeber a moment I had when I was 14 with my grandad and start missing him and then its like I remeber detailed things he once said to me which i totally forgot all these years well this was a good feeling as it grounded me! But its like anger and frustration has come out more then the moments of me realising how cold and guarded I have become. I want good memories more than the bad ones.
  • taiyakitaiyaki Veteran
    Most of the work in meditation is to work with those bad memories. I bring up those emotions that I stored within and rest with them. I watch them and let them be. I try not to judge them, but at times I do. We as human repress the bad memories and they follow us around. It is very important to let them run their course in meditation. Once they run their course, they disappear on their own. Suffering now to have no suffering in the future. Don't push away the bad/good memories. Don't pull them near. Let them be. Watch them mindfully. Don't comment on them. Just create a space where you allow everything to just be. That is meditation at it's purest.

    With love.
  • AllbuddhaBoundAllbuddhaBound Veteran
    edited February 2011
    A part of the meditative process is acceptance of what is. We repress emotions and memories because we are unwilling to experience them. We avoid them with repression and at times, we can act on them and try to get rid of the feeling through acting out. It is always with the same mindset that we repress or act out. Getting rid of an internal experience or emotion. As suggested by Taiyaki, to come to peace with these experiences or emotions, we need to welcome them. When we try to avoid them, they will haunt us. We struggle against them until the time when we make peace with them.

    Most of us have been encouraged to ignore or escape our feelings for much of our lives. We will continue to struggle if we don't see these experiences for what they are. The more we make of them, the more power they have in our life.

    I would just like to add, there are no "bad" memories, just memories.
  • TheswingisyellowTheswingisyellow Trying to be open to existence Samsara Veteran
    edited February 2011
    As Allbuddha Bound pointed out it's all about acceptance of our experience. either being attached or adverse to a situaton will only increase your suffering. I have had many things come up in my meditation, some things I did not want to look at. This is our shawdow, all our fears and anxieties, our personal Mara. We must invite Mara tea (this is from Tara Brach)sit with him and even thank him for coming. If Mara shows up, make him your meditation object. Don't create a story but meditate with that pure emotion, that feeling. Let it be, pushing it under leaves it unresolved. If its too hard do metta meditation for yourself, for those that may have been hurt or for those that have hurt you. Acceptance of all that you are, good, bad and in between is the path forward. These are my personal experiences with this, this is my understanding only. I hope that it is of help.
    All the best,
    Todd
  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje

    Tara Brach talks about something like this in her book Radical Acceptance.  It's a very good read.

  • TheswingisyellowTheswingisyellow Trying to be open to existence Samsara Veteran
    edited February 2011

    SherabDorje,

    I had her specifically in mind. I am 3/4 of the way through the book and would agree very good read indeed.

    All the best,

    Todd

  • SherabDorjeSherabDorje
    The Essence of Mindful Prayer: “May this Suffering Awaken Compassion”

    by Tara Brach

    http://www.tarabrach.com/articles/mindful-prayer.html
  • lightlotuslightlotus
    Thanks for the link sherabDorje, I've become so curious about these negative issues that keep appearing when I do my meditation. Its just helped me to realise how is just had everything wrong in my life till now. I only remeber this uncles funeral as he was a negative influence in my life its like his death highlighted how much he sufferred and also how much suffering he caused others

    Take care LL
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