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Disattachment Practice, I guess
Sabine
Veteran
Urg.
I've been thinking of...breaking ties...with my boyfriend.
For the past few months, after the initial rush of "Ooooo, first love!", he hasn't been too enthusiastic about our relationship. I constantly suggest things to do, while keeping in mind that we're both busy, but he never seems excited about stuff - even during summer vacation, he didn't want to do ANYTHING. -_- I understand that he's taking pretty advanced courses this year, but so am I. We haven't gone out together outside of school since September
And this is really foolish, but...we've been together for 9 months, and...
We haven't kissed yeeeeeet.
But anyway. This is probably going to make every guy on this forum roll their eyes, but he's never told me that I'm pretty or anything, while I tell him he's handsome all the time...
Besides that, I just don't "feel it" any more. Could be stress, hormones, any number of things, but...I think we're still together because we're too scared to break up. (Crazy, yes.)
Help...please...
I've been thinking of...breaking ties...with my boyfriend.
For the past few months, after the initial rush of "Ooooo, first love!", he hasn't been too enthusiastic about our relationship. I constantly suggest things to do, while keeping in mind that we're both busy, but he never seems excited about stuff - even during summer vacation, he didn't want to do ANYTHING. -_- I understand that he's taking pretty advanced courses this year, but so am I. We haven't gone out together outside of school since September
And this is really foolish, but...we've been together for 9 months, and...
We haven't kissed yeeeeeet.
But anyway. This is probably going to make every guy on this forum roll their eyes, but he's never told me that I'm pretty or anything, while I tell him he's handsome all the time...
Besides that, I just don't "feel it" any more. Could be stress, hormones, any number of things, but...I think we're still together because we're too scared to break up. (Crazy, yes.)
Help...please...
0
Comments
I am also in a relationship.So I shall try to help you to the best of my efforts.
First point,The kissng part.Ask this question,Is the whole relationship suppose to be based on the speed of your development?If you are feeling this because you are facing pressure from other couples,don't.The fact that it becomes a kind of expectation to do certain stuff at certain stage is utterly stupid.Your point of relationship is that he is there for you,you are there for him.
About his enthusim.For this maybe you must try having a talk.Sometimes,sitting down and talking to each other and having a different perspective and view of your relatonship helps a lot.Try asking him,asking yourself.Then maybe you can find a way out of this.Furthermore,you don't need anyone to tell you that you are pretty.He may feel that you are pretty but don't know how to say it.Not everyone is the same.
Really hope that your problem will be solve.May your relationship last till the end,against all odds.Good Luck.
(Anyway,try reading The Art of Happiness.It teaches you about relationships too!)
"May your faith remain unwavering"
-Ar.Aid
The reason why you are feeling like this is purely hormonal I can tell you. And a little of expecting too much. The mark of a good relationship is not romance and kisses (note that this did not come from me) but a more lasting bond of understanding.
Anyway I must say that beauty is not equal to love. He may shower you with millions of sweet words but perhaps he won't mean it. Maybe he liked you not because he thought you were pretty. For me I like a girl because of her intellect, kindness (OK, this is to Argon, to humans and not insects!) and any other factors other than beauty - for the saying, "Beauty is skin-deep", and that too many sweet words will get you to take them for granted. And once he stops those sweet words you are just gonna get angry. You should rather thank him for spoiling you.
And yes, you should really read the Art of Happiness - I stopped getting hormonal since I read that book.
Lastly, never take the advice of two guys seriously, especially when they are those who get sent out of class by teachers for refusing to be told what's what and what's not. We are not girls so well, we might never know the thoughts you are feeling now, so, hehe.
And if you think that after some time, you still think that you are sufferring from this relationship. I'm sorry but I think that for your sake, you should end it skilfully. :doh:
You're very young, you're a pretty girl, you have a wonderful personality, and a lifetime of fun ahead of you.... don't get hung up on this.... just enjoy being you, see other friends and revel in the moment of your youth.
All too soon come exams, university, working for a career, finding a home, paying bills....yech!! being an adult sucks! When I have to pay bills, or pack a suitcase, or clean the bathroom, I still think someone older than me should be doing it.... I'm only little!!
If I may be blunt, I can't see this relationship going too far... it sounds like he's letting it peter out naturally, rather than doing the brave thing and turning round to you and saying, 'Sabine, let's knock it on the head....' And it doesn't sound like tyhere's a whole lot of passioante love from your end either....
Let it go! Send him a Christmas card wishing him well, and kind of admitting it's not going anywhere, but that it's been nice.... and liberate yourself from the attachment to Attachment.... then throw yourself into the Season of Jolity and hang 'em all - !! :bigclap::cheer: :rocker: :cool:
Maybe "aquaintance" - but not boyfriend.
I'm not saying that you have to hop in bed for it to be a relationship - but there should be some "zip" and "zing" in there somewhere. I'm a firm believer that it's not in the "major acts" - but in the day to day things that lead up to the " major acts".
-bf
Ajani and Argon - yes, you two are mere teenage males, but I value your opinion ^_^ However, I *have* been mulling this over for quite a while...kissing isn't that important, but I just don't feel the spark (or whatever it is that you feel) any more, either.
Well, I guess I'll do it next week, then. Exams will be over, so I won't have to worry about his reaction possibly upsetting me/my grades.
:hrm: Wow. I can't believe it's almost over. Amazing...
Time for the next adventure :crazy:
Thanks, everybody! Yet again, my NewBuddhist family comes to the rescue
....I'm dying to know what a "sprak" is.....!!
Maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about that! If you don't know what a "sprak" is, then you are really missing out!
After a smart-arse comment like that, dear Freddie, you've become even more near and dear to me.
-bf
-bf
-bf
To Sabine,May the force be somewhere near you,maybe beside you.Around you should be better.Sorry,feeling funny today.
Anyway,Good luck!
And is it really sprak or spark?
Oh..the confusion..
And it's actually "spark," Argon. Just completely disregard the last few posts - we're being silly.
:cheer: