Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Buddhism on hitting one's own children?
DaltheJigsaw
Mountain View Veteran
Buddhism on hitting one's own children?
0
Comments
That would also go for animals as well.
You?
I took a pychology class this year, we did an opinion poll. The question was roughly "is it necessary to spank your children in order to raise them properly?"
ALOT of students chose agree. I think over half the class. I was suprised.
So it's a good topic.
Here are the two polar (extremist) situations that I can think of in relation to this:
1) A child grows up to becomes a criminal, or leads a miserable life due to poor self discipline from parents.
2) A child grows up to be excessively violent due to excessive violence from parents.
Cheers, WK
Beaten sounds very extreme! In my remembrance as a child, I cannot even remember one situation where I actually was smacked (definitely not beaten) and it was more the threat that kept me in line. Sort of like the threat of jail keeps a certain amount of people from breaking the law. In my view stated above, however, I would definitely not accept beating as acceptable.
A kid needs love, care and understanding.
Of course I can see the difference between very rare beating and caring behavior vs no care and frequent beating.
I guess my childhood belongs more to the 2nd category and that's what my opinion is based on.
@Being: I completely agree with you: love, care and understanding should be forefront.
but I can count the times I smacked both of them, collectively, on one hand.
And I always apologised for it, afterwards.
My reasoning behind the smack, may have been sound. My smacking them was completely wrong.
My personal opinion is that if you hit someone whether in public or in private, to communicate your anger, and exert control over them, you have actually lost control of your temper.
If you were to strike an adult in the same way, you could be had up for assault.
But a minor (who is in our charge, under our protection, and our responsibility) has no such legal privilege.
And we smack a child out of temper, and it frightens some children.
My personal view is that it's never OK to impart a lesson by making a child go through pain or fear.
@ShiftPlusOne, I neither blame you, nor your parents for the opinion you/they have, and I'm not accusing anyone or holding anyone in any lesser regard for what they do. people do what they do at the time, for the reasons they do them. Period.
The above is simply my opinion, but one I personally feel strongly about.
As a person who was subjected to some bullying as a child, I have grown to deplore any form of violence towards someone who is obviously weaker and defenceless.
That's it, really.
Thanks,
WK
My brother and I were polar opposites to some degree. With me,all it took from my parents was the threat of violence(physical discipline if you prefer), and I would typically fall into line of what responsible behavior was. My brother however too often ignored outright any words spoken to him(heated or otherwise) when he misbehaved. As such, he was frequently disciplined with a brief paddling on the rump.
Now before anyone goes and says that my family was short tempered, let me assure you, my father was shorter tempered than my mother and it was my mother who too frequently ended up disciplining him(my brother).
So my point is should we not rephrase the question? That is "What is buddhism's perspective on physical discipline of a child in an attempt to encourage responsible behavior?"
To which my answer would be, this is samsara. This life is suffering. A parent suffers when their child misbehaves, and a child suffers when a parent must exact discipline to keep the child safe.
where physical discipline is concerned, I think it is foolhardy to believe a child will always listen to spoken words as a form of discipline. In the case of my brother, he was frequently told not to run out in traffic, and yet did it anyway. It was only after he had been paddled a few times as consequence that he realized it was a bad idea. Now is that sort of violence acceptable or unacceptable?
Gotta be true. I saw it on "Mythbusters."
Sooooo, I'm gonna reserve my right to use the slap technique if ever in my life it becomes the necessary best method to get someone to get themselves together!
Fair, consistent non angry behaviour is the path I attempt to follow and violence is not part of that.
I believe that love and compassion always wins.